BIG problems with visitation; want mental health prof. present

[too_short]

Hi all,

In a middle of custody dispute and having big problems with visitation.  I tried to get my son the weekend before last and he wouldn't come.   Since I filed for change in custody, mother has been doing a lot of talking to my son.  He use to be so enthusiastic about my weekends.

Mother just sat there and tried to look helpless.  In an earlier denied visitation, she actively denied the visitation... got a contempt on her for that one.  

I recently sent a letter requesting to change the venue of our pickups to a nearby playground because of the recent problems with visitaiton.  Just a few days ago, I received a written response.
Mother says that since the relationship between my son and I has deteriorated so much that I should no longer have my overnights but that I can come by to visit him there until our relationship improves.  (Please keep in mind I live out of state).  However, she also included that she understood "I still had a legal right" to have overnights.

This is such BS.  There's so much manipulation going on.  When the police officer arrived, he asked my son if he wanted to at least go with me for some ice cream.  My son couldn't even answer that, he held his head down, tilted it towards his mother, and waited for her to say it was okay to go for ice cream.   There's a lot of this eye contact that goes back and forth between him and his mother during this visitation disputes.

Police officer saw this, but it just went over his head.  These guys aren't trained for this sort of thing and they're not at all helpful.  The only thing they can be counted on *at best* is to just document that the visit did not occur.  

 What I need is to have a mental health expert on hand for this next pickup to observe mother and child interaction.   Is there any way I can arrange this?  Anyone know how to go about this?

[Bolivar OH]

I feel for ya!

You probability need a GAL or Custody Evaluator to move forward in your case.

Keep fighting, "a child needs their father"


P.S. a VENT:
She is a vindictive, worthless sack of sh*t.  She is F'in with a Childs head.  That in itself is a very sick person.  Never give up!!    And   Keep coming back!!  This is a GREAT site.

[KAT]

What are your states recording laws? I'd have family or a friend tape the entire thing next visit. I betcha' biotroll doesn't have the guts to do or say anything when she knows she's on candid camera.
KAT

[too_short]

Actually I am confused on this.  This transfers take place outdoors.  The state is PA.  Can someone expect privacy while outside?

[too_short]

Just came back today empty handed.  My son didn't want to go; just kept hanging on to mom again.  Mom just stood there agian, casually tellling him to go -- never making any type of eye contact nor trying to get him unwrapped from her.  This is so sickening.. after her last contempt, she now feels that she'll be okay as long as she makes an "effort" for him to go.

Well anyways I start talking to my son about just going for pizza or something and then if he decides he wants to stay then he can stay.  So he let his embrace loose of his mother, and starting talking.  At this point his mother calls 911!  She calls 911 to deny me visitation!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!  I couldn't believe that BS!!!!   I don't know exactly what she said to the police officers or to the call but it was probally along the lines that son doesn't want to go and that I'm trying to *make* him go.  Who knows, she'll probally claim she called the police because I was out of control.

So police came; basically told them as before, I'm not going to drag him kicking and screaming anywhere, just want to go for pizza.  So that's it, just took him to pizza.  Spent 6 hours on the road today so I can have pizza with my son.  And guess what?  While at the pizza place, my son started opening up when I started asking him about what type of activities he would like to do at my place the next scheduled weekend.  And then his mother walks into the pizza place and gets him to leave with her about five minutes later!!!!!!

This is the second time she's done this.  The weekend I was suppose to have my son, she called the police after for some reason they failed to respond to my call.

Oh things get even better, case recently transferred from one county to the next.  So as of right now, my case doesn't even have a f***ing DOCKET number.   I haven't spend any meaningful time with my son in over a month, and I don't even have a docket number.  I'm in freaking limbo here.

I had talked to my atty about video taping these exchanges since all the events occur outside of her apartment complex.  Atty said I couldn't without mother's consent.  The state is PA.  However, I've been hearing elsewhere that it's okay to videotape.

In the meantime WHAT DO I DO?    

[LizaLou1]

Take a witness, a somewhat disintersted party would be best - like your minister.  Don't take family, use friends or a co-worker instead.

LizaLou

[msme]

is what her showing up at the pizza place is called & I believe that can be charged as contempt or that might be the charge itself. Someone else here can clarify that.

You must have a neutral witness. Also, most fast food places have loop video tape of the counter & dining areas, for robbery identification. You might consider getting a subpoena for the video tape & if she shows up again, serve the subpoena immediately & get the tape.

That might seem extreme but extreme problems call for extreme measures. Not sure if you can even do it but it seems like a good idea.

Another idea would be to say that you are going for pizza & then once you are in the car, say something like, "Hey, what do you think about a movie, or bowling or maybe minature golf before we eat?" Then, make sure you park around back so she can't see your car when she finds that you aren't at the pizza place & goes looking for you.

Also, if he goes for the activity, first, then try to get him to go for something else, instead of pizza. That way it will be harder for her to find you.

You might also stop into the local police station, on the way into town, & have a chat with them about your plans. Bring your CO & tell them that you do not want any problems but that you expect them since she interfers with every visit. Don't bash her, just say that you love your son & are trying to rebuild your relationship with him.

Ask that if she calls to report that you have done something, please take into consideration what is going on & allow you to have your uninterupted visit.

You might also tell them that you are willing to call them from where ever the boy decides he wants to go & they can check on you, themselves, but please do not give her the information. Make sure you document the time, as well as the name & badge number of whoever you talk to & ask them to make note of your visit.

By going way out of the way to keep the peace, they may be more understanding & help you.

About the video taping, I would think that as long as whoever is taping, doesn't show her face, then you should be able to tape you & your son. If he is clinging to her &  looking up to make the eye contact for answers to your questions, that would look good for you in court.

You can tell her that your friend is taping you & your son & that her face will not be shown. However she should be aware that there is audio being recorded, as well. If she speaks after that, it is her choice. If she says, do not tape her, then say, I am not taping you, I am taping our son. If you don't want to be recorded, then please do not speak.

Not sure if that is completely legal but, it seems worth a try. What ever you do, don't give up. I know that a 6 hour trip for pizza is rough but it speaks volumns to your son. It tells him how much you love him & that he is worth whatever it takes for you to be with him.

End each visit with a big hug & kiss. Tell him you love him & to be a good boy for mommy & you will see him on "when ever" (give day, time & date). Also tell him to think about he would like to do next time.

Make sure you document, document, document!!! Even the smallest, seemingly insignificant, things can be very important, further down the road.

Good luck & God bless, we will add you & your son to our prayer list.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!