have any of you experienced this?

[steprealmom]

New to this board again.  I was here about 2 years ago.

Anyhow to the ?...Have any of you had BM ask for supervised visitation because your DH spanked your Schild?  BM is doing this and FOC is allowing it to go to a hearing.  My DH has spanked SD twice in the last 6 years.  So it is not our normal form of discipline but BM is screaming abuse because of this.  There were no red marks or anything because it was a controlled spanking.  SD is 9 y/o.  

Any help would be appreciated for this distraught SM and bio-dad.

[Kitty C.]

Are there any outside agencies involved, like CPS/DHS, and were any reports made to them?  Has anyone actually made a report of abuse against your DH?  If not, then I'd be using that fact VERY strongly in your case.  If you don't have an atty., I strongly recommend getting one.  Regardless of the truth to the matter, it's a serious allegation and in this mommy-biased court system, you need to CYA any way you possibly can.

[steprealmom]

She said she reported it to CPS.  Not sure if she did because we haven't heard from them at all.  What is DHS and CYA?  My DH doesn't want to use an atty. because they have never seemed to help much in the past.  Along with costing alot. I believe atty. helped some in past though. I will talk to him again regarding this though because I also think that our atty. may able to help.  He is a good atty. just the BM is very convincing to all others.  Very good con-artist of poor me but this atty. has seen thru her.

[Kitty C.]

Then you definitely need to use this atty.!  You can get chewed up and spit out in court, especially with issues like this, if you DON'T have one!

DHS (Dept. of Human Services) is basicaly the same thing as CPS, depending on what state you're in.  And CYA..........cover your a$$!

IF she reported it to CPS, and it's been a while and they have not contacted your DH, I seriously doubt a report was made.  But that doesn't mean your DH can't call and ask them if a report has been made about him.  

When DS's dad took off with him, he had left a note saying he had reported me for abuse (a ploy he had used in the past, so I wasn't surprised).  I called the local DHS office and was told that a report was made, but given the circumstances that he made (supposed abuse 2 weeks earlier that left marks and other 'history' that they gathered from him), they told me that they would not be investigating.  I was told that they flat out asked him that if the alleged abuse was so bad that he felt it should be reported, why didn't he do it immediately while the marks were still visible.  Apparently he had no answer for them, so they discounted his story completely.

Get in touch with that atty. and also have your DH call CPS and ask of a report has been made on him.  You need to get the ball rolling on this and your DH needs to understand that he must fight this.  Most states have abuse registries, with varying periods of years that an abuser must remain on it.  Without any other info to go on (if he doesn't fight it), they will assume that abuse DID take place.  And if a potential employer does a background check on him, it WILL show up, possibly damaging any possibility of him getting a job anywhere.

[MYSONSDAD]

Not too long ago someone posted a spanking ban that is nationwide. Somewhere in my vast amount of files, I have it printed out.

You might want to do a search by your state statutes and see how it comes into play in your situation.

It could be considered corporal punishment in your state.

If I have time later, I will look for it and get the website.

[steprealmom]

I believe it is legal in our state.  It states that "reasonable force" by parent in disciplining your child is legal. But I emailed an atty. from this site that is in our state MI. and she specializes in Abuse Allegations.  Please let me know if you find something on that ban.
Thanks!

[MYSONSDAD]

http://familyrightsassociation.com/info/spanking_laws.htm

[steprealmom]

Thank You!