new excuse for dening phone visitation

[onedaddy]

Let me start with, we are on the eve of our custody trial which is set to begin next week.  Everything is in DH's favor, evaluaton turned up some disturbing facts about BM, SF is a convicted felon currently on probation, law guardian is fed up with BM and SF.

DH has not spoken to kids in a week.  The order states he can speak to them everyday between 7-7:15.  In 2002 BM stated to NJ family court DH wasn't receiving his contact because at 7 she had to be on her computer and couldn't stop her life for him. The judge ordered he install a phone line. Then the denial of visitation was because they had to take baths at 7 and she refused to allow them to answer the phone at any other time.  Then in 2004 to NY family court the kids were to young 5 &7 to answer the phone because there were to many telemarketers calling even though we had them on a do not call list.  The judge ordered DH buy them an answer machine.  Stepfather is an electrician, yet DH paid $330 in 2002 and again in 2003 to have phone lines installed for his kids in addition to the phone bill. They moved 6 times in 2 years. Each of these times the electrician made arrangments directly with BM and both times she did not answer the door so DH had to pay a no-show charge.  He was awarded one time in court.  She was also found in contempt for abusing the phone line herself, calling 411, *69, long distance, etc.  even ordering up special services and ordered to reimburse DH some $60.
She often picked up this phone line tring to force conversation,  when DH refused to talk to her she went to the police, said he threatened to kill her and DH was arrested, he was cuffed, shackled, strip search and sat in a maximum security cell for 10 hours.   5 months and $2500 bail later he was exonerated as the judge stated he did not believe a word she said.
We offered to have a new line turned on if SF would install the jack, they refused and it was decided bwtn the lawyers that she would have the kids call DH everyday until we get in front of the judge.  Now she says she cannot afford the long distance calls (he spaeks to them for apprx 2 min. a day) and said he has to call her or I can call her house.  NO WAY!  We record all our phone calls but at the time of his arrest the police said don't bring anything with you, this is a mandatory arrest and you have to tell it to the judge.  
She has used this arrest in all her petitions in family court since DH was first ordered an Order of refrain. She recently told the court ithat DH harrasses her on the phone.
DH pays child support and it was BM who chose to move long distance.  Her husband's hourly wage is higher than DH and she refuses to work.

Our lawyer also offered that we put a cell phone in the kids room in our home for use specifically between her and the kids when they are with us and she do they same as she consistently says they have to use the phone line we pay for to call their friends.  With this, there will be no abuse to the phones as the supervising parent will be charged, no alleged harrassment or false allegations as neither parent will be allowed to pick up the phone.
If she can't afford $10 a month for the kids to have a relationship with their father than how can she afford this new larger home she just bought 2 months ago. Unilaterally changing the kids school for a 5th time.
How do you think the judge will react to this?

[joni]

YOu're on a roll baby....looks like the judge is at his wit's end with her.  I would file a motion to put the final nail in her coffin.

[onedaddy]

Judge asked to have GAL call her chambers.  GAL is disgusted.  This better work in our favor.

[StPaulieGirl]

I thought I heard everything, but this ex takes the cake.  I don't suppose the cell phones can be programmed to only dial a certain number?  You know she's going to screw this up too.

I would definitely look into suing her in civil court for the expenses incurred due to your husband's false arrest.  Attorney's fees, lost wages, pain and suffering.  I think you have a good case against her.

As for how the judge will react to this, I wouldn't dare make a guess.  If he has any common sense, he will see that the mother is deliberately making things as difficult as possible, and disobeying court orders to do it.  Good luck in court :)

[onedaddy]

We have already got a date for small claims courts, June 15th.  I suspect she received this notification recently and this is part of her true reasoning for not haveing the kids call DH.  Ironically, she was quite able to afford a phone call last night while the kids were with us to speak so she could speak with them.  We were at a party and even though they fought and screamed we made sure she spoke with them.

I personally would have loved to take her to civil court and sue for a lot more than $5,000 but BM has no money, her creditors are calling our home and the in-laws home, since last year she took a $5,000 loan out using BM's ss# as primary without his knowledge and well after the divorce and then allowed it to go into default, DH is now attached to her credit report.  We took her to court and she had to repay it but we coulda and shoulda had her thrown in jail them.  Anyway DH doesn't want to expend anymore money in lawyer fees so we went the small claims root.  Although it doesn't sound like a bad thing to have a very large judgement hanging over her head for the rest of her life.

[StPaulieGirl]

I'm sure you meant to say that BM used your husband's SS# as primary for that loan.  You guys are too nice.  She should have been arrested and prosecuted.  What is that, grand theft, fraud?  Has the judge ever been told about this?

I don't blame your husband for not wanting to pay any more attorney's fees, so small claims is the only route to go.  She's slimey, and I'll bet that there are things she does that you all aren't aware of.  So because of her behavior, she has a date with small claims court, therefore your husband and the kids must be punished?  Such a good mommy. /sarcasm

[onedaddy]

That is indeed what I meant.  Other judges have heard this, this judge has not YET!.  We took her to court in NJ, where she was ordered to repay the loan within 60 days and provide us proof.  She repaid it in 65 days and never provided us with the proof.  
We sent a copy of this transaction to the evaluator and the criminal court judge during my husbands trial.  She denied it ever happened under oath and then our criminal lawyer poped up with the paper work.
We asked our new lawyer to make this judge aware of her felony offenses.

IT IS NOT ME WHO'S TOO NICE!  My husband and his family are afraid of BM and her family.  They are people of NO remorse, true sociopaths.  I mean 2 years ago my husbands 3 month old truck was torched in front of his old apartment, my in-laws got a phone call 3 days later saying this was no accident, the voice on the other end was undoutedly BM's father.  They refused to follow through with the police.  THIS MAKES ME SO MAD.  They feel he's better off leaving things alone, ony these people get worse when you back-down.  At least in part thanks to me, DH is standing up for himself for the first time in 15 years and for the first time ever if we cross paths, BM, her new husband and her family have not only not made one threat to DH in almost a year but they will not even say a word to him and if they decide to we're more than prepared.

[StPaulieGirl]

The new judge needs to be aware of this, and anything else you have proof of.  Besides being a criminal, she as a parent is setting a horrible example for the children.  

I can't say as I blame your husband and his family for being afraid of BM.  It's too bad that no police report was filed regarding the truck.  I certainly don't blame you for being angry about that, either.  It's frustrating, but at least BM etc. know you will fight right back.  Don't let your guard down for one minute.  I have no doubt that she and her family are sociopaths.  These people never rest, and just when you start enjoying the quiet, they strike.  Nothing is too petty for them, and like burning your husband's truck, it's damn hard to pin anything on them.

I honestly don't think she or her family should be around the kids unsupervised.

[onedaddy]

Thank you!
I don't think they are a healthy influence either, and the forensics evaluator and GAL seemed to be thinking thwe same thing.  They have everyone fooled at first but soon after you meet them the evil strike.  

There actually is a police record and fire record of the torched truck as well as an insurance claim under DH's name. I persuaded the in-laws at the time to file an incident report on the written phone  call they came with a number on their id but they asked the police to leave it alone and won't get us a copy of the report.

Oh well, we have literally hundreds of pages of valid proof; phone records, transcripts, written letters, doctors reports, recordings, video's, driving abstracts, etc. We made no here say claims because we have so much of provable claims.

We begin the trial tomorrow, wish us luck!

[StPaulieGirl]

YW :)

I figured there had to be a police report at least, due to this being arson.  It's too bad about the inlaws refusing to cooperate, but it sounds like you have plenty of proof.  You know, her behavior could also indicate a drug problem.  Evaluators and GAL's aren't fooled by someone forever, but I wonder if drug abuse has crossed anyone's mind?  For instance, what did she do with that 5k she "stole"?

Good luck on your trial, and hopefully it will be wrapped up quickly in your favor :)