Opening statement .any suggestions?

[stepma]

We are finally going to do something about not seeing my DSS. We have filed for a Motion for Family Access in Missouri. We are doing this pro se and because of this GREAT! web site I believe the PBFH won't have a chance. Here is the rough draft of the opening statement any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.........

XXX is frustrating my visitation by refusing to bring my (child) to XXXXXX to complete a weekend visit which is outlined in our Divorce Decree. XXX denied visitation in a letter dated XXX which resulted in the loss of 5 days visitation in the summer of 2004. XXX also denied visitation in a letter dated XXXX which caused me to lose another 7 days visitation. In this letter XXX also states that my (child) will not be flying for any of (their) visits even though our Divorce Decree requires XXX to pick up and drop off our (child) at an airport, for (their) regularly scheduled visitation. XXX will not tell me the name of my (child's) school because she does not want me communicating with the school. I have a copy of my (child's) report card that XXX sent to me with the school name and also the teacher's name blacked out. I have lost a total of twelve days visitation with XXXX and XXX"s refusal to cooperate is causing serious detriment to the healthy relationship between me and my son.

[Kimberly9]

XXX is frustrating my parenting time with XXXX  by refusing to bring him to XXXXXX to complete a weekend visit as outlined in our Divorce Decree. XXX denied visitation in a letter dated XXX which resulted in the loss of 5 days of parenting time in the summer of 2004. XXX also denied visitation in a letter dated XXXX which caused me to lose another 7 days with XXXXX  from XXX to XXX. In this letter,  XXX also states that XXXX will not be flying for any of his visits even though our Divorce Decree requires XXX to pick up and drop off our (child) at an airport, for his regularly scheduled parenting time. XXX will not tell me the name of xxxx's school because she does not want me communicating with the school. I have a copy of XXXX report card that XXX sent to me with the school name and also the teacher's name blacked out. I have lost a total of twelve days parenting time with XXXX and XXX"s refusal to cooperate is causing serious detriment to the healthy relationship between me and my son.


I think you need to say what you are asking for:  Make-up time, clarification in the order, sanctions on your x?  Be specific to what you want.

for my other suggestions:  I took out all the "MY child".  I suggest that you replace these with his name to calm the tone.

I also suggest that you change your thoughts and wording from visitation to parenting time.  I left visitation in some spots in case your order says "visitation", but children really don't "visit" their parents.

Finally, I changed Their to his.

Good luck

[hagatha]

You want to be very formal and direct.

On (whatever date) as part of our divorce decree,  Judge (whatever) entered a valid order for parenting time. Said order states (state exact wording of your order as it pertains to parenting time).

On xxx date I received a letter from Ms PBFH stating my parenting time for XXX to XXX would be denied. And again a letter dated xxx denying my parenting time from xxx to xxx. Additionally, Ms PBFH has made it clear in the letter dated xxx she will not comply with the terms of the decree regarding transporting (childs name) (state terms exact wording regarding transporting child)

Also Your Honor, any attempts to participate in XXX's education have been denied. Ms PBFH has sent copies of xxx's report cards, however. all pertinint information have been blacked out.

(Present copies of letters and the report card to Judge and opposing attorney)

I ask the court to hold Ms PBFH in comtempt and order she comply with the existing order as well as order the miss time be made up at it's earliest convenience. I also request Ms PBFH reveal the name and address of the school (childs name) attends and further be ordered to supply the name and address of any school (childs name) attends in the future.

Thank You




Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[Forthelittleones]

I would be careful about going in for contempt if she just said she would not release the child. Did you call her bluff?  Did you attempt to pick up the child?  Did you buy the plane ticket and she not place the child on the plane?

If you acted on her statement that she would not send the child, I do not beleive you will have a chance in court and the Judge could order that you pay her attorney fees if he finds that you did not prove your case.

All she has to say is - I was just angry, your honor IF he had showed up I would have sent our child - IF he had bought a ticket, I would have sent our child.  I do not want to harm our child by not allowing him/her to spend time with their father.

Also, about the school - Have you tried calling the town?  Legally you can get the information without depending on her.  

Those are my two cents.

[stepma]

This is actually not contempt, Family access is a low cost option so parents can get visitation enforced pro se. When you send in the motion it has options that you check off for what remedies you want. In our case I asked for make up time, court fees paid, and that PBFH go to counseling for her problem. I put (my child) and (their) in those spots cause I don't know who might read this and the real one will have names. Thanks for all your input, hagatha I think I'm gonna copy yours an use it :7

[Forthelittleones]

My advice about being careful still stands... Have you thought of what your response will be when she says she never denied  - You just never showed up?

[gipsy]

No matter what I think Her letters are Intentional . And She is purposefully in contempt of a court order , I would ask an atty in your area about  change of custody  or parenting plan Modification , Based on this , Thats what I did ! Of course I did not get a change of custody , But what I did get was Compliance , Its a tough road to Hoe , And you will Need the advice of an atty from your  area , If You keep calling EVERY ATTY  In your area and say Hey look this is the basics , And I need to get mom to comply And I want to start this off with just an atty's advice untill it may get too sticky , Then I will Hire an Atty , But for now I hope to just rouste her from Her position of control , The Best thing you can do is stay to the facts like your letter does , Or your Motion , Is this a motion of contempt ! Modification , What ? You Have written a Nice Declaration , But In wash state ,that would probably be the declaration in support of contempt , And not an opening statement , Washington courts have it so you usually go before a commissioner at first  SO, Is it contempt In your state or ,Change of custody ? or Parenting plan modification , Thats why You need the advice of an atty , Or some one from your state that knows what You should do in this case ?? If Its just a contempt then It seems to fall in line with what I have seen , I Never actually had to file contempt,  My atty agreed with her atty that I would get make up time, The deal Is you have let this happen , And As My good atty say's "if you let her get away with it you teach her that she can do it ", ," You may not Get a contempt the first second or third time ", "But she has to go through the process of showing
  up at court or hiring an atty" , And "If you do the first couple of contempts on your own then You will learn the process and eventually get her on contempt ",   That seems to be the fact , And the hardest thing here is to be the adult , All the while these rotten people rip your heart out and hurt the children , You have to have a straight face and talk to the legal entities like an adult that wants to solve these problems , , Don't do anything Just be a good parent , And file the paperwork and show up and say you want to see your children , I realised thata long time ago and the court will appreciate the facts only , , I have been to court MANY!!! Times over my son , And I have found that when there is too much crappola ( Your letter is about right to the facts) But If there is way to much crap about who's doing what then the commissioners seem confused and I have seen the commissioner say " What are they asking for " And thats where You have to keep your Part to the facts. And what you are asking for !!

[stepma]

PBFH is supposed to bring DSS for a weekend visit to our state on a plane, before any other visits can take place. The longer she puts it off the more time we miss with DSS. We are supposed to be geting 2 weeks this summer and it's gotten to the point where I didn't see any other option I want my DSS here for the summer.

We have a recorded phone message from PBFH saying she got our letter and DSS will not be visiting us this year. A week later we got a letter saying time off from work, lodging arrangments, and her plans to visit our state have been cancelled. The only reason why she cancelled is because she wanted a 12 day car rental instead of plane tickets, her own agenda is very clear in all of the letters she has sent, if we don't give her what she wants DSS doesn't visit. I guess we could have sent plane tickets or shown up but my DH contacted the police that are supposed to enforce the order and was told that they couldn't help him. So we didn't and if the judge doesn't order her to give us the parenting time she has frustrated, at least she will know we are serious and we aren't going to back down anymore. At some point we will hire an ATTY and file for actual contempt and a custody change, but I would like to show a pattern first so we have a better chance.

[gipsy]

Ya have to do something stop living in Loath and fear and take action , Just be to the point about it , You have already backed down because you said
"  At least she will know we are serious and we aren't going to back down any more ./  Why? Does it have to get this far , Get on the phone and call the court , And every atty in town and every legal aid group and every parrelegal . And get a contempt filed , And Mom served ,Then if ya did it wrong find out what was wrong and do it again , Believe Me even my atty has screwed up and had to refile crap over , It doesn't matter get the ball rolling . Don't lay down . Stand up . This isn't some wierd deal , Parenting plans are not just self enforcing , OK GET IT , And the police won't do any thing because its a civil matter , You have to pull her up in front of the judge  ,And as My atty say's untill the judge will finally do something , And sometimes they get sick of it and change custody , So get this contempt filed and mom served , I took my psyco to court at least 6 times , And . She messed up once and I said , Do I get make up time or do I see you in court , And she said '" I know you will " And the issue was worked out , Maybe your psycho doesn't know what Mine does ,  My psycho has repeated proof that One screw up and I will take her to court , She has no reason to doubt it , And I alway's get My visitation time ,