Daycare

[MommyX4StepX1]

For the past three years I have watched my Stepdaughter (SD) during the summer months and when she is out of school on vacation.
After last December that has changed. SD showed up with a huge bruise and said her mom's boyfriend did it, which they live with.
The boyfriend got a dismissal, the judge stated he was just disciplining her. (Nice to know mom's boyfriend can leave a bruise on a child that is not even his)
Anyway Mom has put SD in daycare, when she is not in school.
My question is my husbands child custody decree states that his parenting time begins Thursday's at 5:00pm or such time child is released from school or daycare.
My husband doesn't want his daughter in Daycare BUT on mom's days he has no control over that. BUT he refuses to pay for daycare on his days. Can he pick up his daughter on Thursday's at the daycare when mom is dropping her off?
There is no first right of refusal in their decree.
My husband want his daughter to spend time with her siblings and I during the day summer months, instead of being stuck in daycare 4 days a week.
Fridays mom can't make my husband take their daughter to daycare since it's his parenting time until Sat 10am or every other week Sunday at 6pm.
 
We've been to mediation before; the mediator doesn't understand WHY mom would want to pay for daycare when she can get free care.

I've worked in a daycare in the past, in which SD has attended for free.
Mom just throws SD in daycare whenever she is mad at my husband or I.
Seems unfair that she can use the system this way to " punish" my husband financially by making him pay for unreasonable and unnecessary daycare expenses.

The court order does state that my husband pay for 1/2 of reasonable daycare expenses.

[Kitty C.]

JMO, but I'd say she's in contempt.  If the CO says your DH is to pay 1/2 of REASONABLE daycare expenses, then if you can get daycare for free, anything above that is UNREASONABLE.

Contact your atty. and see what he/she says.

[Annie]

I think you should have first refusal added to the PP. No judge is going to turn it down and it takes care of the issue.

[MommyX4StepX1]

I agree with you...We've tried to excuse daycare expenses before ...we had a crappy lawyer. BUT the mediator agreed with my husband and asked the mom why would she want to pay for 1/2 daycare when I can watch my step daughter for free AND she can spend time with her only siblings. So for the past 2 years I've cared for my step daughter. Now mom is up to her same old acts,
We will see if the mom will send us a bill for daycare this summer.
My husband just this  sent her a certified letter.
( I left out names and numbers)

Re: Notice of intent to exercise Summer Parenting Time

As of May 1, 2005, I have not received a notification of your intended summer parenting time.
As per our Custody & Parenting Plan order, I am notifying you by May 15, 2005, that it is my intention to exercise court ordered Summer Parenting Time, as outlined in the court order, Parenting Plan page #3, section #3, on the following dates and times.

Starting Date: Thursday, July 21, 2005, at 5:00pm or such time that DD( daughter) is released from daycare

Ending Date: Sunday, August 7, 2005, at 6:00pm.  I will be returning DD to your home that evening.

Contact information:

If you do not plan on exercising your summer parenting time please respond via U.S. Mail by May 25, 2005 so I can plan accordingly.  If I receive no response to the contrary, I will assume these dates and times have been confirmed and you do not intend to exercise your summer parenting time.

I need to be informed of who will be caring for DD while you are working during DD's summer vacation. The past two summers my wife has watched DD all summer vacation at no expenses to you. I have not heard from you of what your plans are for this summer. If you do place DD in daycare, I do intend on picking up DD on Thursday mornings from the daycare. As stated in our Parenting Plan on page 1 and 2, my parenting time starts on Thursday from 5:00pm or such time DD is released from school or daycare. If you could please mail me the time you would drop off DD at daycare and daycare information, if it is your intentions to place DD in daycare on your days.


Thank you,

CC: Court Clerk, Fourth Judicial District of Nebraska
Douglas County
Return Receipt Article #
Reference:
Parenting Plan Page #3, Section #3
Parenting Plan Page #1 & 2, Section #3

[MommyX4StepX1]

I agree but first right of refusal can work against us too.
Mom can say my stepdaughter can't be here with out my Husband.
Plus the mom would never inform us of when she didn't have their daughter and it' hard to prove it...
Without having to hire a private investigator.
At one time DH had First rights of refusal and mom never went by it.
We can't afford to go to court tight now everytime we think she violated it and she'd just lie about it.

My Dh would let the BM know he was picking up SD from the daycare to excercise his first right of refusal and She would leave work and beat him to the daycare. We'd pull up and she'd be pulling up at the same time.
Then he would call AFTER he got to the daycare and she'd say I'm off work right now and come and get SD on her days.
She's a piece of work I tell ya!!!

[wendl]

My dh's orders used to say dad is responsible for WORK RELATED daycare only. I would put a clause in your order OR request dad gets 1st right of refusual.  Hell I wouldn't pay either, if a parent is at home and not at work then no daycare should be involved.

Guess my ex had it good those years he never had to pay daycare or medical costs which was fine with me.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[MommyX4StepX1]

It does state work & school related daycare.
This is daycare mom is putting SD in before she goes to work.
BM just got a new job AGAIN. she changes jobs twice a year it seems ( if not more)
She called My husband to tell him she doesn't get off work until after 5pm and she has to drop off SD this week at 5pm.
DH said we will pick her up right after school which is 3pm.
So she can't complain about this summer, she can't even get here by the court order time of 5pm on her days to drop off.
At least SD won't be in daycare on thur and fri.
I still agree with not paying for daycare any other days since DH can provide free daycare with either me or his grandma.
Mom used us for many years for free daycare, now that she's mad should give her an excuse to stick DH with a daycare bill.

How would I fight this with out paying a lawyer a huge free?
In our court order it states if they disagree on something then they have to go to mediation first.
How does my husband enforce mediation>

[TwoBoys]

You can request that first right of refusal be added and that first right of refusal applies when SD will be with anyone other than their parent or parents Spouse and even the grandparents.

Ours states something similar:  something like anything over 3 hours with anyone other than immediate family to include the parents spouse.  It also states that NCP has first right of refusal over anyone, regardless of amount of time or relation due to the limited amount of time they already spend with the child

TwoBoys...

[wendl]

Our order states that too. however mediation only works if both parents are willing to work together.

Do research in that state, many here have done things pro-se (without an atty) do research for the laws in your state, maybe you can get the court order chaned so you or dh can pick up the child from school etc.

get the forms some you can download from the court website, then ask us for help and many of us will help you fill them out.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**