visitation-what would you do

[gisbrewer]

I live in the state of NH and my ex-gf lives in NC..neither one of us has legal custody of our daughter who is now 10 years old..But i fight with this woman constantly about seeing her...She bases the visitation soley on if her bf lets her or if the child support is up to date..Her new bf is constantly threatening to kill me or such and i try not to fight back with him as he has threatened to take it out on my child..She tells me when he and i fight he and the ex scream and cuss at her..So she doesnt want me to call that much. What i want to know if anyone might know if i could take her to a court here in nh and file an exparte because i am in fear that these people will injure her...or prevent me from seeing her if i dont play by their rules..They have agreed to let me have her this Sat.. do i have to return her if there is not legal custody? or can i just bring her to court with me and let her tell them what these two crazies do to her..I am not a rich man, I tried to address visitation at a child support hearing and they wouldnt address it, it only cost me 2000 to find that out..

[wendl]

You can file a motion yourself to establish visitation, the cost is usually the filing fees if you do it yourself.

You really need a parenting plan done by the courts. If you to were never married she automatically is the custodial parent, if you are paying cs thru the cs office, she is the custodial parent.

Get a restraining order against this man

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[janM]

You will need to file where the child has lived for more than 6 months.

Get a restraining order on the bf and in future meet ex at a neutral location, preferably a police station with cameras. When you file for visits, ask for this meeting place. If you do get a RO, mom may decide not to let her visit, so you may want to file it while she is with you this weekend.

Court will not care as long as the child is not being physically harmed and you have proof. I don't think you will get emergency custody on your facts. If you do not return her it's kidnapping.

When you do the exchange this weekend, take a witness and/or a camcorder with you, or at least a pocket voice recorder. It may improve bf's behavior, and if not, you will have plenty for the RO.

[flewwellin]

How did this go?  I live in NC and in the area I live it's $5 to file a motion.  I am unsure about restraining orders seeing that I haven't had need for one. Depending upon what town the child lives in I'd look for a Wal-mart or something.  Do the exchanges there or where the courts order the meeting point to be.  Make sure it is in the court order exactly where the drop off and pick up place is. Dont let the judge leave it up to you guys to decide, cause obviously that will only result in another court hearing.

[gisbrewer]

Well the bf never showed up with daughter..Was told they went away for the week..Spent 6 hours waiting and a no show...Called repeatedly and got answering machine, till a man answered and said they were gone and he was there feeding the dogs.  Still dont know what to do as the state of NH wont help..Have 6 kids including my daughter relying on me for financial support. And no money to drag the crazy woman into court..Just wanna see my daughter..I try so hard to stay up on the child support but I am the only income and they have set my child support at an amount that I can barely afford to pay..I could take her back to court and have it lowered but it means another week off work and no money to pay the bills..I am not sure what these women that keep there children from good fathers are trying to accomplish..Would it make me pay my child support on time if the visitation was legally based on that?  I doubt it cuz it still wouldnt take away my debts or the financial burden I live under.. I can only give what I have to give. She hates the fact that I am remarried and trying to support stepkids cuz there father doesnt pay child support..But you know what..That man has had full access to these kids even without the support being paid..I dont understand it my daughter is the one to suffer in the end..She has a new baby sister thats almost a year old and shes seen her once..