looking to relocate

[joni]

Me thinks I've struck a nerve.  You summed it all by your statement stating you're not going to reward him either.  

Clearly, I feel strongly that parents need to live in the same area and give up everything for their children.  When you have children, they come first and the first and most important thing you can provide your child is that both parents are active in their life.  

Again, as I first stated, give custody to dad and you can have a relationship with your daughter via emails and letters and phone calls and extra time during the summer.  You're the one who wants to move so you're the one who should sacrifice for their child...not the child's father.

And the reality here is that a judge just might agree with me.....

[Brent]

>I am trying to find out how it works if I am looking to
>relocate to another state.  

You won't find much help here if you want to move the child farther away from the other parent. Sorry, we just don't think move-aways are good in the majority of cases.

Put yourself in the other parent's position and see if you would still be okay with the move. You and I both know you wouldn't like it.

You want to move, feel free- but leave the child in his or her established environment with the other parent.

[Brent]

"I also know that he has told me that he doesn't want "some other man being her daddy"."

Would it be okay of he took the child, moved to another State and remarried?

Go ahead and tell me that you'd have no problem with "some other woman being her mommy".  Baloney.

[Brent]

>There is no way that it is the same for me and him.

I love how they always justify the unfairness on their part with nebulous crap like this.

Yeah, if your deal is SOOOO great, give him custody and YOU can have this generous visitation you think is so fantastic.

[Brent]

>OH AND BTW I KNOW MY DAUGHTER AND HER FATHER LOVE EACH OTHER
>SOOOOOO I HAVE NO AGENDA TO REMOVE HER FROM HER FATHER'S LIFE.

Good, then don't move. Or move, but leave the kid with him.


>I came here for some advice not a B**** session by some chick

No, you came here looking for help in moving the child away from the other parent. And you came here looking for validation and approval.


>there that do what you are accusing me of DOES NOT mean that I
>am that!!!!GET YOUR S*** STRAIGHT!!!

That's what they all say- "I know some mothers do that, but not meeeeeeeeeeee!"

Except that you ARE doing that and trying to deny it at the same time. Puh-lease.

[Ref]

Flipping out on people on this site only reminds most of us of the psycho crazy custodial parents we have to cope with every day. People on this board generally will apologise if they assumed something and they were wrong.

Your one post says "right now he has 3 weekends a month. I offered every other month and to provide all transportation". It sounds like a sucky deal for your ex. The difference between being a regular presence in your kid's life versus being a vacation and holiday parent is huge. Many of us are stuck being the later.

One of the things that will get many of us pissed is your post # 3285. You really seem like you are living in the past and pointing fingers stating why you are better off without her in his life and what a bastard he was. The only reason that your daughter should stay in your physical custody over her dad's that made a lick of sense  to me is the fact that she has a brother. I am assuming that the dad has no other children.  You also point out that he was not involved in your daughter's life for a while. Moving your daughter away would seem to futher isolate her from her dad and would be counterproductive.

Here are a few words of advice. Learn to stay in control of yourself and if you feel like you are being attacked, state your case in an intellegent manner. If you can't respond to a post in a manner that helps get your point across on a board without comments like "GET YOUR S*** STRAIGHT!!!", it is not a far leap to say that you probably wont be able to communicate effectively with your ex. Maybe you can learn to use this forum as a way to learn how to communicate , even after confrontation, in a more productive way.

I honestly don't think moving out of state, if it is not a distance issue but a state border issue,  would be a serious issue if your ex had no change in parenting time and you are willing to drive. Just make sure when your daughter gets older that this kind of road trip isn't going to deter her from wanting to see her dad.

Good Luck to your whole family
Ref

[Brent]

>I don't want to make him pay but I
>am not going to reward him for his mistakes
>either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You don't want to "reward" him?? Oh geez, you are so pathetic. That one statement really says a lot about your mindset and where your head is at.

What about YOUR mistakes? Or are you perfect?

I have just two words for you: F*CK OFF. We aren't going to help you move this child farther away from the other parent.

[Innocentprncss]

Why should  leave her here with someone that has been in her life for a year out of almost 5?  Why am I the only one that thinks this is ridiculous?  I have been the one to raise her.  He just decided to start seeing her when he had to start paying child support in 2004.  The only reason that WI is her home in the first place is because HE moved us here.  Her home would have been MN if he hadn't.  A nerve was struck because of the narrow mindedness that I am running into.  I wouldn't care if my daughter's father relocated to another state and remarried because she would still be with me.  I also know that there might come a day that he could remarry and she will have a step mom.  Though the idea of her having another mommy stings a bit, I also see it as one more person to love her.  I think you guys are getting your rocks off by bashing mothers here and that is no more right than mothers bashing fathers on other sites.  Maybe you guys should walk in MY shoes.  As long as my daughter gets to see her dad relatively the same amount that she sees him now, how is SHE harmed.  SHE IS NOT!!  THAT IS MY POINT!!

[Innocentprncss]

The only reason that I got so pissed in the first place is because of joni telling me that I have some sort of agenda like moving far far away to keep my daughter from her father which I DO NOT.  The every other month thing was a typo.  I went and corrected it.  It was supposed to say every other weekend.  He currently has 3 weekends a month and I am offering every other weekend, holidays, couple months in summer.  I offered to provide transporation and even to drop child support.  I know that this isn't the best way for things to be, but I also cannot change the fact that I found a future spose in another state.  I shouldn't necessarily have to write that off as long as I am being cooperative.  My ex even said that when I called and talked to him about this, that I was very polite and I approached him the right way.

[Brent]

Put yourself in the other parent's position and see if you would still be okay with the move. You and I both know you wouldn't like it.

>I wouldn't
>care if my daughter's father relocated to another state and
>remarried because she would still be with me.

MY POINT EXACTLY. You don't get it, do you?