bm out of state

[mc24]

New here, with a question - I am a stepmom, DH and BM have a vague order stating shared parental responsibility.  BM is custodial parent and DH gets "reasonable visitation" with his kids which is to be worked out between him and BM.  

Although BM has had tons of psycho moments over the last several years, things have finally calmed down.  BM is now living one state over, but not too far from us, so visitation has remained basically the same, maybe one day less for us.  

My question is, since she moved out of state, and DH did not object to this at the time, if she has another "moment" and threatens to go to court, who would have jurisdiction now?  We still live in the original state/county of the order, but she has been in new state for about a year or so.

I just want to be prepared just in case.  Like I said, things have really calmed down, but with her history, I know there's a good chance for another episode in the future.

Thanks for your help

[joni]

Under UCCJEA, after 6 months, the jurisdiction is the new state where the children reside.  Plus the fact that DH did not dispute this would make it even worse to try to dispute at this late date.

[flewwellin]

Unless otherwise stated in your court order her state will have jurisdiction.  The Bm in our sittuation moved to PA from NC and NC kept jurisdiction and states that it will until the youngest child reaches majority.

[mc24]

Thanks for the replies.  I was afraid that was the case.  Hopefully, things will continue on in a peaceful manner as they have for some time now.  However, if she ever does get mad and actually go through with a threat to go to court, that will not be good.  The new area she lives in is very small town and her new hubby knows everyone, probably including the judge.  Oh well, we will just pray for peace  :)  Thanks again!  

[flewwellin]

well if that is the case you could always take her to court to get the jurisdiction held in the original county.  Might not work though.  Also if what you fear is to happen (her new hubby knowing the judge or just to be safe) you can always hire an attorney outside of that town to defend you, this way it'll throw her lawyer and the judge off.  The judge tends to act better and be on better behaviour with a strange attorney cause  judge doesn't know whether atty is from capitol of the state and being "watched" by the state.  One way to make everyone nervous.  And for a just in case status you may want to open a savings and start saving.  Better safe than sorry.  We found this last bit out the hard way.

[msme]

the mantra of this site....."Document, Document, Document."

Document everything, no matter how small & seemingly insignificant it may seem to you. Things like that often jar your memory to other things & also it could take on an entirely different meaning to an attorney, should you need one.

Use a time tracker but also keep a journal. My son just opened a word document & started each entry with a headline with the date & a subject reference like:

July 23, 2005: late for pick-up & drop-off 17th time.

Underline the headline & make it bold. That makes it easy to skim for particular details. When they went for the final hearing, he had about 48 pages. (she is a real pbfh)

Good luck & God bless.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[MixedBag]

I think that dad's first move should be to keep jurisdiction in the original state since he's still there and he didn't move.

Normally, I agree with the fine folks who have already posted, but dad still lives in the same spot.

Now as soon as dad moves, jurisdiction undoubtedly will follow the child....and I mean even moves out of the county -- not just state.

DH's situation/jurisdiction didn't move when BM left with their three kids until he moved out of the state as well.  Then the "more convenient forum" became her state because that's where the kids are.  Otherwise, the original state was still the "more convenient forum" due to the fact that it had the case's entire history.

Even if dad "loses" the motion to keep jurisdiction where he is -- it will give him time for the real fight (whatever she brings up) down the road.  Would be nice to make her come back.

As for dad "fighting the move", I wouldn't think he'd have much of a leg to stand on since she's been gone for so long.

[mc24]

Thank you all for your replies.  There are some very helpful people here!

As far as keeping jurisdiction in the original state, would he actually go ahead and file for that now, or wait and do so in the event they actually go to court over something?  

He isn't looking to fight the move, they are not that far from us, and it's not a big deal.  We've just been threatened with court so many times from the BM that I want to be prepared if it ever happens.  

She's pretty cool now, after 8 years of sporadic psycho acts.  DH has done a great job of keeping his cool with her and not letting her get to him and it has finally paid off.  Some people there is no point arguing with, and she is one of them.  I think now that she has figured out she can't get his feathers in a ruffle, she will leave him alone - she got bored with it.  Where we used to get a raging psycho phone call once or twice a week, it's more like once or twice a year now.  ;)

[MixedBag]

I wouldn't go to court until she starts messing with the time dad is supposed to be with his child....

You don't "file for jurisdiction" unless you want to move it.  He already has jurisdiction.  However, his first move might be to "fight to keep" jurisdiction in the current location -- like I said before, as long as he hasn't moved out of the county.....when she follows through with her threats about going back to court.

[smtotwo]

in our county by showing how often the ex has moved-SS 11, has been in at least 5 schools and is going into 6th grade.

Our argument was that if our county gave up jurisdiction then it would have to be moved every time she moved, but DH has lived in this county since before he and ex married.