Vacation Question - Need Opinions ASAP !!

[wendl]

What I probably would do it file a motion granting vacation. That way the courts say its ok to go on your trip and then if mom screws up you have recorse. but not sure I would consult an atty.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[MixedBag]

I am (or rather was) a CP.

I am also a NCP and a step-NCP.

DH's case is at the NV Supreme Court level under appeal.

So.....I get how it feels as an NCP.  Right now I even have a letter from my EX#2 that says he's going to deny two days from this spring break.  I agreed with our son to add them on to the summer.....just to keep a long story short.

EX#2 did the same thing over Thanksgiving....so I basically will make up 4 days this summer and he's gonna do everything he can to deny those days.  

He says he'll do as our son wants (which isn't legally right), but when it comes to following through -- we shall see.

And that's when I'll take him back to court.  It's a simple as that.

[Gram]

And why are you taking a baby to a beach resort??

[Stepmom0418]

I dont understand why this question would matter given the fact that this is the posters time with the child!! Why cant a person take a baby to a beach resort? I am sure that if the CP wanted to take the baby to a beach resort that would be ok.

[msme]

The child is 4 years old. That is hardly a baby. That is a preschooler. I took my grandson on a 3 week trip to Mexico & at 13, he still talks about it.

Oh, that's right, it's because it is her dad. If her mom wanted to take her there, I feel pretty sure that you would find it a great learning experience.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[Chooch0566]

It's not a beach resort .. .my wife is from St. Thomas and we are going there for a week .. what does it matter how old my child is ... if the shoe was on the other foot, CP would have no problem taking her for a weeks vacation .. she's giving trouble because it's everyone will be going, new wife, new child and my daughter ...

[debid13065]

And you are correct on that!  She will stop the child from going, just be prepare yourself and your family mentally for that.  Sounds just like my BF's X.  CONTROL, CONTROL, CONTROL!!!!  

[msme]

If you have followed all the guidlines of your visitation order, then take everything with you to the pickup. Take a certified copy of your custody order, tcopies of the letter, the return receipt, everything. When you get there, if she refuses to give you the child, call the sheriff. The police will not do anything but in most states, the sheriff seems to have more power. Hopefully, the sheriff will convince her to give you the child. If not, you will have a dandy witness for court when you charge her with contempt & ask for reimbursement.

Good luck & God bless
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[verakh]

I agree about calling the police.  We recently had issues with BM not wanting us to take SD to Mexico.  Or on a cruise, or to Vegas.  To many to count. There is nothing in the court order that says SD can't go anywhere with her dad as long as he has given 30 days notice.  Our attorney advised us to call PD if mom denied vacation visitation.   It's called custodial interference.  While the PD may not do anything you will have witnesses and a police report.  Ask for vacation to start the day before you are scheduled to leave.  It may give you some time to do something if she interferes.  You may have to go on vacation without her but I would definatley hit her with a contempt charge when you get back.  As was said before, prepare yourselves for disappointment.
  Our whole family went to Mexico and St. Thomas and I think my 4 year old nephew had a wonderful time.  

Also, you may have to have BM's permission to get a passport.   We had to get that court ordered.

[Dadxl5]

I'm also a NCP.  My son is now 12.  My ex interferes with visitation (and everything she possibly can, it seems) too.  What I've found over the last 12 years in dealing with her is pretty simple.

What does the baby want?  Really, what does mine need, first.  Then, what does he want?  I know we have lives we want or need to live.  But the problem I've run into is that I had child with this person (being nice here), my child didn't have the child.  All he really wants, if you ask him most of the time, will be US.

If your daughter could talk, would she say, "I'd like to go with Daddy and his new wife and my new step-sister?"  Or would she be more likely to say "I want Mommy and Daddy to smile at each other more." ?

The really stifling part of this whole thing (NCParenting) is that my son doesn't care about anything except that Mommy is happy when I go with Daddy and Daddy is happy when I go with Mommy.  And there is no way around it.  And I'm not sure anything else is even remotely as important to him.  

I can understand her discomfort with the trip on several levels.  Also, she's probably jealous that you've put it all back together and it looks better to your daughter (sort of thing).  What I've been able to do with my son (I made a conscious decision to postpone dating and new Primary relationships until this is all more stable or until he's older.  It's saved me SO much headache) is design weekend trips with him that get us back to nature, such as rockhounding weekends, gem shows, camping, etc.  That way we travel, but his (very unstable) mother doesn't feel so challenged by the emotional impact of foreign travel, etc.  And it has been something that (aside from making her feel inferior (what's new?)) she has been able to really support, usually.

Maybe do this trip without her (without really telling her) and ask your ex if you can reschedule the week visit during a time you can plan a local trip that your ex can find more palatable.  Then plan a vacation that really gives you and your daughter high-quality daddy/daughter time together.  

As painful as this all has been for me, for my son, the tension our struggling has created has been unimaginably excruciating.  Mitigating that for him is my priority.  At least till he's stronger and older.  Till then, if I'm the only one who eats it, then so be it.  He'll see it one day.