anyone have LD visitation with toddlers?

[HappyHCMom]

Long story short (hopefully) bf's son is in CA with BM.  Son is almost 18 months and because of her claim that she is still nursing (doubtful that she still is) refuses to let him see son for more than 4 hours at a time (and it was a fight to get that).  4 days in a row - 4 hours, 4 days off, 4 days on, 3 days off.  That is how it has been all summer (with him renting a house out there).  Before that he was flying out 1 week/month and seeing him every day.  We live in MI.  No schedule set after August.  She refuses to give in to any extra time, and will schedule things or claim she has things going on so he cannot see him any time other than what is in the agreement.  Lawyers worked out schedule, not judge.  His attorney has had a lot of personal issues, and isn't doing the best for him that she can, but she is one of only a handful in the county that she lives in.  BM is borderline neglectful - working on proving that.  Only wants CS from him, and lots of it.  She refuses to work.  BF wants to be a part of son's life but she is making it VERY difficult, unfortunately.  He is going to file for full, and hope for 50/50 custody.  Has anyone come across this situation before?  He's hoping for 2 weeks here (with us), 2 weeks there (with BM) and has the means to get him every 2 weeks and then return him.
Any help is appreciated.
Thanks..

[Kitty C.]

If you're talking about the child flying back and forth by himself between CA and MI, that can't happen until he's 6 or 7 y.o.   All airlines have an unaccompanied minor policy...........I would recommend getting on one of their websites and going over that with a fine tooth comb before getting anything ordered thru the court.  Most start at age 6 or 7.

In the meantime, your BF would probably have to fly there, come back with son to MI, fly back to CA to taken him back, then fly home, meaning 3 round trips for 1 visit.  If you have the money and time for that, it's JMO, but you would probably be better off putting that time and money into a better atty. and going thru the court for a better visitation schedule.  BTW, what county are we talking about here?  Attys. are a dime a dozen out there...........it just seems there would be more of a selection.  Also remember that many attys. practice in more than one county and some can practice state wide.  Might be worth your while to do some on-line research first.

[HappyHCMom]

Hi, and thanks for the response.
No, my BF would go get him, bring him back, etc.  as he's only 18 mos. old.  We're lucky that he's in a good position financially so he can do that.  It's Lake Co., and he doesn't know anyone in the area to get any referrals, but he's got a brother in the LA area so he's going to see if he can refer him to someone just to see what kind of job his attorney is doing.  I think it's lousy - he's learning that she is.

[Kimberly9]

you also go ahead and do a school schedule.  The toddler will be starting school before you know it and a 2 weeks on and off schedule won't work even for a Pre-K student.

What he would be asking for is completely reasonable, BUT is a long ways from where they are now.  So ask for the moon, but be ready to compromise to something that he can live with.

I would suggest getting a school calendar for the child's area in California and building a calendar around that.  For example if they do year round school . . . ask for all of the off-track time now.  If they don't do year-round school then ask for all the long weekends out of school, Thanksgiving or fall break, a week of winterbreak, a week of springbreak, and 8 weeks in the summer.  You could probably come up with about 12 weeks of time -- which I know is only about 1/2 of what he wants but would make the transition easier in a couple of years.

When my ss was a toddler we did 4 days every other weekend and extended holidays.  It was long distance -- but not a plane flight.  

Good luck and get a better attorney.

[HappyHCMom]

Thank you.  I think he's finally realizing now that his attorney isn't the best.  And I think he wants to hold off on an agreement that goes into school years, because then he's going to ask for full custody.  Our school district in MI by far is so much better than where she lives, and he's hoping to use that to help with full custody.   And I think they're going to ASK for full custody now, and hope they get 50/50.  The only reason they are where they are at now, is because BM refused to let him have any time, refused to let him have any time alone with him until he was over a year old, and is saying she's going to nurse him until he's 2.   His attorney didn't want to go to court, and convinced him that this 4 hours 4 on/4 off was the best he could get.