Texas Visitation Issues

[treyduggan]

I have an ex that is being a little stubborn (to put it mildly) with my visitation rights.

The issues is thus:  I have had problems with my ex trying to be in my life constantly, and I am really fed up with it.  We had been using verbal agreements for my visitation, but now she has moved to OK 6 hours (roughly) away.  I have been keeping my daughter for X-mas, but now that seems unlikely.  We (my fiancee and I) went to get a copy of the origional agreement for child support and visitation.  In this document, under the section of "irrespective of distance" it states that I get her on Even years the day she gets out of school at noon, untill 6pm Dec 26'th, and on odd years, from nood Dec 26 till the day before she returns to school at 6pm.  Additionally, it states that when my 'posession' of my daughter begins, I am to pick her up from her residence, and at the end of my 'posession' the ex is to pick her up from my residence.  

That last part is causing all the problems, as she is just being quite stubborn and threatening with the whole issue of picking her up.  I even offered to return her to OK myself if she could reimburse me with the costs of the return round trip.  

Any advice on what I should do?  I have sought out a lawyer in this matter as well, but that is a few days away, and I'd like to hear some options to arm myself with my initial consultation with this lawyer.

Thanks in advance
TD

[mistoffolees]

The one thing to keep in mind is that anything you've done verbally is irrelevant (although if you do it long enough, a judge might consider making it a rule at some point). What matters is the written agreement.

So, technically, you are entitled to have her from noon Dec 26 until the day before she goes back to school this year. By the agreement, you have to provide transportation on pickup day, and your ex has to provide transportation on the return.

Again, in principle, you could show up to get the child and if ex won't let her go with you, you could call the police and show them your divorce decree and ask them to enforce it. You would not be obligated to return the child - your ex has to do that.

However, there are a lot of question marks. For example, a lot of police will not get involved in disputes like this, particularly if there's any question. Fortunately, yours appears to be worded quite clearly so ex can't argue that you're mistaken. Also, there's the issue of what happens if ex won't give you the child? You don't want to get yourself caught in a fight.

You might contact the local (OK) sheriff's office in advance and say that you're concerned about your safety and would they send someone along with you to pick up the child - and enclose a copy of your agreement. Then let ex know that you will be there at noon on the 26th to pick up the child.

But none of that is legal advice, so it's best to go with what your attorney recommends.

[spinner]

I agree, nothing verbal counts.

Personally I had the same type of problem even though it was only 10 miles, but ex would put a big fuzz.

So here is what I did. I got a certified copie of the order that gives me visitation in my car and in my home so I would always have one because in my case the police got involve and came then looked at the order and order said child with me so they sent mother away point.

Then I told mother I am comming to take child at that time and agreed (verbally so that it is not binding) to whatever but still trying to be loose. never a YES I AGREE, more like sure, what ever works for you.

Once child with me on the 21st and back home I called mother on the 26th Morning asking her what time she was comming to get child. she screemed on the phone (which I recorded by the way, very usefull for the cops when you play back the F... you and what not. Make sure it is legal in your state but still can't hurt.

when she refused to come on the 26 I called the police station asking for a cop dispatched and asked the cop what to do. play dumb, you can't reach mom, she lives far you don't want to have trouble, ... nothing will come from it but a report and if she calls the cops you are covered.

When she comes to finally get kids, make sure your GF is videotaping it discretly or have left the video camera running, ... just in case, the key is cover yourself.


The drawback of this is that after that she might apply the order to the letter and you might have to go back to court to add more time.

If she does not allow you to get kids, file for contempt and ask the judge to order that you then have xmas next year

hope this helps

[spinner]

I forgot to add.

Remember also that a lawyer's goal is to help you but also to get as much money from this case as he can to pay for his new wife's hummer for xmas !!!! :)

use the court order to your advantage. remember what is an advantage for her is also one for you when you have the kid

[Davy]

Always focus all written and verbal communication on the child rather than the parent(s) and use mother/father terminology rather than managing/possessory conservator.

Please consider attorneys/judges historically have an absolute miserable
record in compelling compliance with court orders especially concerning access children have to their parent.  It is a huge revenue generating   game to them ... the more problems they create the more $$$ that can be generated.  Money that could otherwise be used for the benefit of the child (and in your case also a new marriage).

Apparently verbal communications have failed so you may want to immediately restart your communication with a certified non-threatening letter which simply states the terms of pickup and return stipulations and further stating to inform you in writing within 7 days if she intends to disregard the court order made by a competent court.  And continue ... A failure to respond withn 7 days will be considered an intention to not comply.  This letter should  be considered a good faith effort on your part to the childs well being (for future use if need be).


It would be good to research the article (bottom of page) on this site and particularly the document concerning Criminal Custodial Interference statues.  This document (2003) is a comprehensive list of State statutes covering criminal custodial inteference. Citing the relevant statute with legal types (and in any motions and litigation) is vital, as some attorneys and judges may not be aware of (or may be tempted to ignore) the current provisions regarding custodial interference.  These criminal statues are in addition to the normal civil contempt motions that often have been found to be both expensive and ineffective.

It may be helpful to visit/call your local DA to see if they will fax an  arrest warrant to OK for immediate execution if the child is withheld the day the child is to be in your custody.  It would be better for the child for one parent to pay bail than the other parent to pay attorney fees into a probable waste land.  By the way, these same statues could be used to arrest you if the child is not returned as ordered.


Best to you and your child.

[patton]

If you live in Texas why did your attorney not immediately file papers that the child NOT leave the state of Texas?

A friend of mine's son had a child and the mother was going to move out of state to Arizona.  Attorney got this in court asap and Judge ruled mother could move, but child would stay in Texas with father.

Don't know how long ex has been in OK, but moving a child away from another parent that distance doesn't sit well with most Judges.

Think WELFARE of the child.

Not your comfort or ex comfort but comfort of child.  Why should child also have suffer long rides every other weekend. This is not in the child's best interest.  Forget about yourself , consentrate on the child.