Don't know what's going to happen and need prayers........

[Kitty C.]

I will try to keep this short, but I might fail..........

DS has been in therapy for over 6 months now, once a week.  The reason for starting is now secondary to what his therapist is helping us with now.  It is with her help and because of her legal status that she, with my approval, will be making a report to DHS on DH for emotional abuse against DS.

Over the past 6 years, DH's relationship with DS has been rocky, and I always attributed it to DH's alcoholism and the abuse he went thru as a child himself.  Well, I've had my head in the sand for too long, not wanting to realize just how severe it was.  The therapist firmly believes that DS is suffering from PTSD, and I have to agree with her.   She is of the belief that because of the abuse that DH went thru as a child, plus his addiction, he really has no clue on how to be a parent, never really learned, and has a LOT of trauma to work thru from his childhood before he can even begin to learn.

She is a mandatory reporter (as am I) and we've decided that she will make the report for BOTH of us.  Once the report is made, I have no idea what will transpire.  I'm certain that they will want to talk to me and to DS, then they will probably want to talk to DH.  I have no idea how long this will take or how DH will react to it.

And DH has started drinking again, plus lying to me about at least part of it.  DS is of the impression that DH did what he had to do to get me back......I think there's a lot of truth to that.

And this may sound stupid to some, but I really didn't have any choice about reporting him.  As a mandatory reporter, if I didn't and therapist did solely on her own, I could be in a LOAD of trouble.  Our state law is that if it is found out that a MR knew about abuse and failed to report it, there are stiff fines and prison time to do.  And if I don't report, as a parent, I could also be accused/charged with failure to protect, also.

Therapist said that emotional abuse is very hard to prove, but this has been going on for 6 years and only getting worse as DS gets older, plus the fact that she's now diagnosed PTSD.  So I ask for prayers for DS and I, and for DH too.  It's obvious to me that he's been living in a world of pain all his life.  That doesn't forgive his actions, but at least I 'understand' why.  I have come to realize that, tho we grew up only 10 miles apart in a very small, rural community, we had vastly different childhoods..........

And I ask for prayers for me....to deal with the guilt of allowing my son to suffer for so long.........

[sweetnsad]

And tons of (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))) for you and your DS.

[Stepmom0418]

You got tons of prayers and hugs! My family and I are thinking of you, DS, and DH! Please if you need to vent or talk or anything feel free to email me or even call me! I gave you my # before and if you need it again email me and let me know I will email you back with the number.  

You have been there for us and now its our turn to be there for you! If you need anything please let us know!!

[hisliltulip]

I know you all have had a tough time of it.

Hang in there.

You and your family are in my prayers.

[wendl]

Oh Kitty, I am so sorry to hear this,
Our family will be having your family in our prayers with an extra ((((hug))))

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[lucky]

Hang in there.

(((((Kitty)))))

[tulip]

Kitty, I will be praying for you and your family. You've helped me out so much with encouraging words. I wish there was something I do to help you. Give your son a big loving hug for me.

[nosonew]

Awwww Kitty... prayers and hugs for all of you!

[forthekids24]

My prayers are with you and your son.

FTK

[Kitty C.]

Have talked to a social worker and DS and I will be meeting with her next Tues., so the wheels are in motion.

I have also found out that I am ONLY required to act as a mandatory reporter in the capacity of the position that requires me to do it, thus only while I am on calls.  Everything's kosher with that, thank goodness.

The SW also told me that emotional abuse is hard to prove.  I am also in the process of getting copies of some school records of DS's, but won't hear back from them until tomorrow.

So it's just one day at a time here.  I just hope and pray that everything stays quiet this weekend...........

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your prayers........you have no idea what that means to me!  But knowing that I have so many who care makes it easier to deal with...that is priceless!