Just for fun..(for a change)

[leftoverinmn]

If you could pick the step-parent to your children, what kind of person would you pick? What qualities would you want in the heart of that person?

What would they look like, what would they do for a living? Would you want a stay at home step parent? Someone educated?

For Jack, I would want a tall slender woman with long hair. I would want her to be very active (like Jack), be a good cook, and have patience a mile long.

I would want to be able to pick him up from his visits, and sit down with her and a cup of coffee, while Jack packed his stuff.

 I'd love to chit-chat about the weekend, what they did. I'd want to be able to trade recipies of the things Jack likes to eat. I'd want to see her at Jack's school programs with a camcorder glued to her hand. I'd want her to chaperone his field trips, since I can't because I have to work so much.

And I'd like her to be a registered nurse with a level head in case of emergencies.

Or a deaf mute would be good too..

[joni]

My DH's was a RN so I wouldn't hang my hat on that one as a requirement for a stepparent.  Common sense with calm collectiveness will help any child in an emergency.

I was really impressed with Jada Pinkett Smith.  She spoke of her 'bonus' son and how Will Smith's ex share the holidays, with them in their home, as well as the child's birthday.  

I would really want the same things that you wrote about.  I want someone who would love my child and treat them with respect.  Would be a role model and someone who would be there for them unconditionally.

[backwardsbike]

What a cool idea for a post!

I used to fantasize about my kids' SM.  I hoped to get someone calm, cool and complete as a person.  I wanted someone I could talk to and someone that I'd enjoy having lunch with while we discussed the kids.  I wanted to be able to have the ex and his new wife to my home for Christmas dinner with the kids and their birthdays too.

Once we were all taking our vacation at the same place at the same time and I just couldn't figure out why we couldn't share the kids while we were all there.  I guess I'm kinda dense that way because it just couldn't happen.  I didn't get my daydream, coparent SM.

But I continue to just not get it.  I keep being "nice" and making schedule changes to accommadate all their plans.  I keep giving and bending and not getting that in return but somehow I just can't fight fire with fire.  It's not in me.  What I do get is the ability to look at that wonman who looks back at me from the mirror each morning and say " Hey, I respect you "  And after being able to do that I realized that even though I didn't get the SM I wanted to deal with I got something a whole lot more important.  It's true, you don't grow when things are easy.  So to the Sm in our case I say , "thanks".  And I even mean it.  Really.  But that doesn't mean that if I were given the chance to have the other SM I wouldn't jump at it!