School and summer

[allajody]

So second year in a row when step kids can not spend "court ordered" time with their dad as their mother has decided to home school them.  She has told us that they are still really behind and she is planning on summer home schooling them; she has been "traditionally" home schooling them for 2 years now too.

DH has spoken to their Teacher Advisor and she has said the Home school system does not have a Summer school. She has also said that they are doing well, one child is a little behind on writing.  DH does not want to cause stress on the kids as their mother will "bash" him, by saying the reason they are behind is his fault for not allowing them to study.  

It has been many years we have not been able to plan a "Family" trip due to these issues.  As ours is an "Yours, Mine, and Ours Family".  I do try to Plan my kids time with their Dad during the summer well in advance so he can plan his summer with them so then when we get the schedule from dh ex we cannot plan anything together except a day or two here or there.  

If we do get any extended time with kids it is because she is doing something and makes it seem like she is doing us a favor by letting us have a week.

Sometimes, (no most of the time) I wish DH would see what his ex is doing.  Luckily we have a great relationship with his kids and the alienation that has happened in the past has not affected their relationship with the dad.  They realize that no matter what we will always love them.

sorry no real question just a vent, as I know as a "step-mom" I have no rights to be upset or frustrated.  

Thanks for listening.

[lucky]

[em]as I know as a "step-mom" I have no rights to be upset or frustrated[/em]

WHAT!?!?!?!?!

You have EVERY right to be upset or frustrated!!!!  That said, you can't change the circumstances and your DH MUST "get it" and empathize with your feelings on the subject.  And if he doesn't, he MUST learn/be taught to empathize with your feelings as this DOES affect you and your life.

I'm in a h/m/o relationship too with 3 vindictive ex's.   BTDT.  The last one who is not "ours" is 17 yo and dh has been CP of her for her whole life, thank goodness.....  Almost home!  :)


[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]

[Kitty C.]

There's an easy way to kill the 'Dad's to blame for bad grades' excuse.....if the summer time is court ordered, she has no choice but to send them and if schooling is such a big issue, they can bring their books and study at your house.  And if she still refuses to send them, file for contempt...and you would have more than one instance to prove the point, since she's done it before.

It never ceases to amaze me the flimsy excuses BM's will come up with to deny parenting time with BD's.

[allajody]

We have tried to get her to send work.  She said as we both work we wouldn't be able to "teach" them.  My thought was that she doesn't work and she still is having a difficult time.  We have a total of 7 children together and the rest of our children do not have "summer school" and we help them with their education despite our both working.

I feel the only reason she started to home school is because she was losing control as the Judge had ordered them be called by their legal last name not her current husbands and my dh had started calling all their doctors and schools to ensure that this was happening.  He was also finally gaining access to their education, by getting report cards, information from schools, and Doctors.  So in order for this to stop happening she decided to home school them.  

I just don't understand such hatred that you would "hurt" your own children by keeping them away from their dad.  I do understand how much easier it would be to not have to deal with ex, but for our children it is very important that we do "deal"

[ocean]

I would call the "Advisor" again. I do not know too much but if you can get in writing that they are on level then send her a copy and the dates that you will be there to pick them up. AND if they are not passing then maybe they should go back to the public school since she can not get them to pass! Were they passing before she pulled them???

I am pretty sure when you home school you have to hand in your plan to the school district and they make sure that it is done by the school year end?

If she gives you more of a problem, take her to court for denial and get made up time for the end of the summer. Here we can file ourselves (I would file that you are having trouble with dates and you want dates put in your court order...."July 1-15 children are with father". ). It does not cost anything here and then it will be done.
Good luck!