The only one playing by the rules

[raywagg]

 "The only one playing by the rules"


           I do the proper steps, take caution with every step, watch not to put the kids in the middle, step away when the other party wants to take the low road, keep paperwork and police reports, try to stay in contact through letters and cards when she does the disappearing act with the kids and that doesn't work she doesn't accept the cert. mail. I don't know how to win in letting my kids know I haven't left them and that I'm fighting hard to see them and spend time with them. Who can tell me how to deal with driving 400 miles to spend time with my kids with a court order and still no kids. Who can tell me how to handle the next sunny day when I can't go to the park with the kids or even talk to them, or know how thier life is, how do i deal with not being able to tell them every thing will be ok I'm still the same dad you knew before Sept. 19,2004?

 
 

[Peanutsdad]

Only you can tell you HOW YOU deal with it.

Your job as a parent is to KEEP on keepin on.


Keep on documenting,, trust me its coming home to haunt cp's more and more when they keep interfereing with visitation.

You keep to the high road, your kids WILL realize it some day.

[raywagg]

I was kind of just looking for suggestions, not really anyone to tell me exactly what to do.




Thanks for the advice!

[Peanutsdad]

Ok, I'll drop the zen buddha crap next time :)

In fact,, this should get you started:



Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm



One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[nosonew]

Went thru the same thing, btdt!  I watched my dh follow every rule, never lie, never try to have son in the middle, all the while the pbfh would lie, cheat, and steal, getting caught again and again, with nothing but a little slap on the wrist!  I was irate, dh was mellow, took it like a champ!  We documented everything, and had proof of the lies.  Not that it did us a ton of good, but ss IS THE ONE who saw her for what she really is, and chose NOT to live with her.  He stood up to her, told the people in power, and now lives with dad and myself and siblings.  

I hate to tell you this, but between court (many times), custody evaluator, counselors (had to change due to pbfh's request to change when the counselor figured out what she was all about), etc., never helped us that we had the documentation, until the child figured it all out.  

I feel for you, and have heard several stories on this site in which the powers that be DID listen, I hope you will have one of those stories soon!  Good luck!

[gipsy]

Heres the best suggestion ,
 IF you have a parenting plan that spells out ther times and places of the exchanges of the child , Take a witness and file contempt when She does not show up ,
  If you don;t have a parenting plan go to the court and file for one , Or go to the court facilitater and file , If you don;t know the process in your state , post your state and ask , some will have or has gone though the same thing and will know what papers are filed , Or call every atty in town and take a pencil and paper and write down what they tel, you to file , They don't need to here a bunch of stories , Just the issue of contempt or lack of contact ,They will say Like do you have a parenting plan in place ? If so where is the pick up ? If not you will file a parenting plan . Or paternity action or what ever . You need to know what to file < Or ask every atty if they help file the papers etc , And file the papers in the proper jurisdiction have her served and show up and propose a parenting plan . start taking action , this all sounds confusing but its not. You just need to start getting her butt into court again and again every time she screws up , I went through the process with an atty ,  The atty's never said or did much that I was impressed with , basiclyy told the commissioner I want to see My son . And she is being a butt , I have had her in court 6 or 7 times and she now cooperates , I get visits , the best thing about wash state is , If you file a motion to appoint a Gardian ad Litem, then the Guardian ad litem will investigate , You would probably want some witness letters that say they were there with you at the pick up and she was not , And the GAL's will take these letters , And there isn't much to there requirements of verification , [get it] and they will report to the court , so get Your letters from Your witnesses and get A GAL on board ,then  take her ass to court it is a process but , Its what You have to do