Have to be honest, I have a problem with this board...

[Sherry1]

custody scenario.  Not all moms without custody are whores, drug users, unemployed, etc........

[olanna]

and if that isn't attacking and insulting...I don't know what you would call it.

[olanna]

LOL...

[richiejay]

> but he is judging every non-custodial
>mother by his experience with his ex, (as guess who is now a
>non-custodial parent in his world).

I never got that he was judging ANYONE.  But I what I did see was that you disagreed with him ..then attacked HIM!.  I understand his opinion, as I understand yours.  I think the difficulty with it for him (and me), is that father's have been the second class citizens in court, in custody, as parents.  That is oppression.  We are in the minority and fighting an uphill battle.  Then consider that most(not all) of the mothers that do lose custody do have something wrong with them (as people or as parents).  So, the number of mothers without custody is a very small portion of society.  
Like I said, There is some difficulty with that for me, but I'm not totally against it.  I know what it felt like before I got custody, so I can empathize with the feelings.
>
>After being enlightened by many regulars on this board, I am
>going to consider the source and ignore his attacks.

I still see it as you attacking him.  Just because you don't like his opinion is no reason to go after him.  
>
>I need this place to come for support and I have nothing to do
>with anything or any experience this guy has had. I won't be
>held accountable and explain things to someone that cannot and
>will not see past their own troubles.

I never saw him ask for any accountability on your part.  I saw him disagree with the separate board.  As for someone with their own troubles......I see them from you...not him.

[Brent]

>After being enlightened by many regulars on this board, I am
>going to consider the source and ignore his attacks.

I have to agree with Gr8dad- I didn't see him "attacking" anyone. He disagreed with the need/reason for this board, but he did so in a calm, rational manner. I don't see anything he's done here as attacking, insulting, or causing trouble. He raised a point and I understand what he's saying, although I may not agree with it. I've seen Gr8Dads posts elewhere and he strikes me as a reasonable, balanced person overall. I don't know his story at all so I can't comment on that, but there's room enough for all of us here I think.

I have to disagree with one remark, Gr8dad- I don't see this board as the beginning of the "feminization" of SPARC. This place is for all NCPs. I do believe that NCP moms and dads have somewhat different issues as NCPs. Some are the same, but some are different. I really don't see the harm in having a board for moms without custody, and again, I don't see this asa "feminizing" SPARC. Half of all our visitors are women anyway, to ignore them seems to be unfair and part of the whole "mindset" we're fighting against- that one parent is worth "less" than the other.

Just my thoughts on this.......

[gr8Dad]

I wasn't talking this board being the beginning of the feminization, I was referring to that kind of posting.  Disagree on ONE issue, and you are out to get them, and "attacking" them.  I have seen it happen a lot.

[Brent]

>I wasn't talking this board being the beginning of the
>feminization, I was referring to that kind of posting.

Ah, okay, my mistake.


>Disagree on ONE issue, and you are out to get them, and
>"attacking" them.  I have seen it happen a lot.

Hmmm, I don't see it happen very much here, although I'm sure it ocurrs from time to time. SPARC is in general alot less combative than other sites, but people get tend to get defensive here just like anywhere else. In any case, the "for us or against us" mindset usually doesn't get very far here. The hardcore, anti-father feminazi types don't last long on these boards.

[Troubledmom]

First JanM said:
**I agree that maybe it should have been called "Mothers' Issues" to be fair. **

Then Gr8dad said:
**There isn't a server in the world that would hold that many names.**

If that is not a personal attack against ALL mother's what do you call it?
Sorry, I found it very offensive and felt it directed at mothers in general and especially Non Custodial Mother's.

TM

[Brent]

>If that is not a personal attack against ALL mother's what do
>you call it?
>Sorry, I found it very offensive and felt it directed at
>mothers in general and especially Non Custodial Mother's.

Hmmmm, that's not at all how I took this comment. It didn't seem insulting to me. I think he meant that the number of NCP fathers is a huge number, and certainly larger than that of NCP moms. I have to agree.

[olanna]

It was insulting to me, too. And I really wish gr8 would find another sandbox to play in on this forum. He has done nothing toward contributing one drop of information, but stirred up a lot of bad feelings.

BTW, there were enough NCP Mom's to start this board and find a need for it, so if SPARC sees this, certainly his comments about the board are an attempt to downplay the importance of women in the same sitch having a place to go and discuss it.

JMHO