Please help w/terminating parental rights

[smile4kelly68]

This is sticky......My sister has had guardianship of her 3 year old granddaughter since birth. Her daughter (age 21 now)signed her rights over and the BF (age 22 now)went into prison, and therfore signed his rights over as well. The BF was released about 11 months ago and has attempted to see my great niece a handful of times(a couple of holidays (not her birthday) and late night before he goes out with his friends) . Mostly, he calls and says he's on his way but never shows. He has only paid $500 in child support, and is currently in another relationship w/ another girl. This is the situation: my husband and I have been the primary caretakers of this little girl since she was about 7 months old. We take her to my sisters when we know the BF wants to see her only because we dont want to seem that we are stopping him from seeing her. I'm very close to my sister but I am 6 years younger than her. I know that she doesn't want to raise another child at this time in her life. My husband and I  have been unable to have biological children of our own. My husband and I are both professionals in our community and are well established in our personal lives. We are absolutely in love with this little one and would be thrilled to be able to adopt her. I know my niece wouldn't  object but I think pride would get in the way of the BF agreeing to it. Are there any suggestions as to approach this or should we continue with the situation as it is and hope that he goes away and doesn't get inspired to get involved when she is older. He doesnt know that my husband and I have had her most of the time. As she gets closer to school age, things are going to get complicated......sorry this is so  long......any advice is appreciated.......its hard to find info on grandparents with custody in california

[mistoffolees]

You're right - it's sticky. Find an attorney who has dealt with grandparents' rights issues before.

I would imagine that part of the process will involve a custody evaluation to determine what level of involvement for all parties is best for the child. If your sister is the legal guardian, you might work out an adoption with her ASAP to strengthen your position.

[janM]

Has the termination actually been done? If so, I agree with Mist.

[smile4kelly68]

>Has the termination actually been done? If so, I agree with
>Mist.
No, only the guardianship was authorized by the biological parents. I don't believe that we are able to start an adoption process from my sister until the parental rights have been terminated, I think?? He was pulled over by the police a couple of days ago and was told that there was an active restraining order against him not to be near my neice or greatniece. It was from an incident when she was 4months old and was in place for 3 years. I'm thinking that this might be a good time to start the legalities since it's good until October 2007. I don't know, we are so afraid of rocking the boat and then out of anger having his mother bankroll a custody fight.
Thanks for your insight......

[jenjen]

Does this childs bio-mother pay support also like the dad? and does she make attempts to visit this child? If the parents have not terminated there parental rights it would be hard for you to adopt. can you prove that you have been the primary care taker? If you have been allowing the dad to visit this child while there is a restaining order forbidding it doesnt look good for you or the gardian. If there hasnt been any problems and the child enjoys the visists from dad then that seems like a good thing. think about the answers to these questions and what would be best for this child before proceeding, I know its hard to put your own desires aside but, you really have to do whats best for the child.