Changing the Children's Doctors

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

My daughter informed me last night that her dad intends to send her to a new Doctor and Dentist, as well as her brother.
(May I remind that dad just received primary physical custody, with shared legal custody.)

Both the current Dentist and Doctor have taken care of my children since the day both children were born. (9 and 12 years) As well, I was not from this area so these Dr.'s were my former husbands. I asked my daughter why they were going to change, and she advised me that they are not the Dr.'s that dad's new wife uses. My daughter does NOT want to change doctors and she is very upset about this.

If their records were looked at, it would be seen that my children always had yearly check-ups, bi-annual dental visits, that my daughter doesn't have a cavity in her 12 year old head, and that my son who has poorly formed enamel has received extra visits to keep his teeth as healthy as possible.

Can he just do this without discussing it with me for no reason?
(Reposted also in Soc's forum.)

[nosonew]

Two things come to mind:  One, perhaps their insurance has changed and your children's doctors are not on the preferred provider list.  If so, they have very good reason to change, unless you put it in writing you are willing to pay the difference insurance won't pay with the previous doctors.

Second, as much as you will not like this, even though your order is probably joint legal, with dad having residential, the cp will generally be allowed to choose the doctor if there is a dispute between the parties.  I know you don't like that, but that is the way it is.

Now, you may have a good arguement if their present doctor is covered under their current insurance plan.  However, is it worth another trip to court?  Have you talked to your ex about this?  

And a suggestion:  If the doctor/dentist is changed, and you decide not to fight it in court, do this: Explain to ex you want to know IN ADVANCE, give a specified time line, of doctors appts/dentist appts.  You would like to meet and get to know these doctors, as YOU may have to call them for something as well.  Then, go to all of their appt's and make sure their files from the other dentist/doctor have been sent to the new ones.  Be involved as much as possible.  

Good luck

[MixedBag]

I'd let this one go and just find out who the new doctors and dentists are.

My EX did the same thing years ago....why?  Because I told the doctors the truth (that they weren't married) and that she had no legal right to make decisions regarding my son.  (He did a POA and changed doctors because of my action....ummmm...because he got embarrassed.)  His next excuse is that the folks in the different offices mix up OUR son with THEIR son and I have no need to know about THEIR son -- and he's right.  Not my fault -- and I'm pretty specific about asking about OUR son and have corrected several folks for "telling me too much" when it's none of my concern.  They apologize for their mistake and then go on.  

Now he's been told by the judge to abide by the law which means he has to tell me when he has taken our son to the doctor or dentist.

I mean what's REALLY important here?  Consistent care from one provider is good -- but the focus is on the CARE and that you know about it too.   Hold their hands -- and stay informed.