HA, this one's a hoot!!!

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

As normal, I gathered up my daughter's clothes this morning to wash them, as I do every weekend I have the kids.

My daughter tells me, "Mom, please don't wash my clothes." I asked her why. She told me that her dad told her not to let me. I say...."HUNH??? WHY???"

She says, "Dad said you might ruin them."

With the exception of one sweater, the clothes she had brought were all purchased by me.

Is this a set-up to say that I return the kids with a bunch of dirty laundry?

[MKx2]

Now I just CANNOT leave this one alone!

Tell Daddy Dearest that you've been doing laundry a LOT longer than he has, and that if you have one SINGLE doubt about an article of clothing you will return as is - not washed.

In fact, I think I'd WRITE it to him and copy your attorney on it.  Make it a nice letter, like,

Dear XXXXX,

I was about to wash XXXX' and XXXX's clothes, when our daughter, XXXX requested that I not send them home with clean cothes.  When I asked her why she told me you had said that I might "ruin" them.

While I understand your concerns, my opinion is that it would be wrong of me to return the children with dirty laundry.  If I have any concerns about any particular article of clothing, and if it can be put in the laundry, I will defer to your request.  Otherwise I will send them home with clean clothing.  It is part of parental responsiblity as well as the appropriate thing to do.

I hope you understand.  I also hope that this does not become an unnecessary issue for us.

Thank you for your understanding.

XXXXXX

What a crock of STINK!  Just one more example of trying to "control."  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (!) document this petty and ridiculous behavior.

[sweetnsad]

with MK...what a joke!!!  This guy has some serious control problems....of all the things there could be a problem with, sending the children home with CLEAN clothes shouldn't be an issue..

My daughter returns from her weekend with her Dad with FILTHY clothes..all stuffed in a bag and smelling like cigarette smoke...even clothes that haven't been worn have to be washed.   Gosh, I would die if she came home with clean clothes for once!!

Do as MK said and continue being the responsible mother you are.  You are doing a good job!:-)

[nosonew]

At least they don't smell like MOTHBALLS!  SS comes over, HE smells like mothballs, coats, shoes, baseball mitts, everything, SMELLS LIKE MOTHBALLS!  I have to wash everything twice  in lemon scented pine sol, then about 3 more times and I add extra downy rinse (April Fresh) and EVENTUALLY it smells better!  Gross!

Whenever I smell mothballs I am reminded of the "nerd" in our class from high school who wore the black glasses, greasy hair, pocket protector, etc.  And when he walked by...ewwwww....you could smell...MOTHBALLS!

(I think I am getting a psychological issue with MOTHBALLS!) LOL

Now that ss lives with us, he LOVES the way his clothes smell!! AHHH, April Fresh!!!

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

Ain't it the truth!!!

[joni]

He's just trying to tear you down in your daughter's eyes.  We get the same thing from my SD's BM.  When she says stuff like this to me, I just laugh and tell her "That's silly, it's not true" and I do what I want anyway.  

Put it this way, if you didn't wash the clothes, he'd be telling her that you're a slob and filthy.  Do what you want.  It's none of his business and as my son would say "he's not the boss of you".

[MixedBag]

When you're faced with a "damned if you do, or damned if you don't" just plain do what YOU'RE comfortable with, period.

The fact that you recognize the dilemma puts you miles ahead of the games your EX is playing.

And forget the letter idea....he doesn't give a rats a$$ about it anyway.  

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

Perhaps he doesn't give a rats pitootie...but, I CC my letters to the clerk of courts who places it in my file. So with the instances of contempt of court that I also have "holding"...it will be seen that I have tried to civilly take care of matters before rushing back into court.

[NoNicky]

OMG!!!  I thought I was the only one who went through this.  LOL  

I no longer wash my children's clothes that come from their father's house.  I did for a while even after they said their step-mom said I wasn't supposed to.  I mean, really now, it's laundry.  The funny thing is they now will not let the children wear anything they purchased to my home.  Too freaking funny.  So I purchase their clothing, they wear it to their father's home on Sunday and when they come back the next Friday they have to change into the clothes they were wearing when they went back to his house on the previous Sunday.  Presumably their step-mother washes them in between.  After all, she's a saint, just ask my EX.  I stopped washing their clothing before though because the children were horribly upset because rather than being adult and taking up the issue with me they were being punished because they allowed me to wash their clothes.  It was a matter of choosing my battles and I didn't think that one was worth fighting.  

In my case they inspect the children for stray cat hair when they get back.  Never mind the fact that they have 2 dogs that could just as easily get hair on them.  If the kids have a scratch or hair it must have come from my cats!  

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[kiddosmom]

I understand the aggrivation of this!
The thing with our pbfh is we send SD to her for her weekend visit in new clothes we have bought. She comes back to us in old clothes that are sometimes stained and dirty and are to small. 4 pairs of 6 socks was traded with socks that are too small,, sheesh. We paid her cs for months before we gained custody, so where did that money go? deffinatly not on SD. We also have not recieved a penny of the cs bm was ordered to pay, but are still losing the clothes we buy.
My mom told me she is doing this so she has decent clothes for SD at her house. We have not made an issue of this but it is still aggravating.