Reconciliation horror stories

[TMO]

The condensed version is: 5 yr old daughter, 11 month old son, bunch of split ups and reconciliations, high school dropout wife with trashy family.

So the divorce had started back in motion in Jan. this year. When we've split up my wife has ran off with the kids to stay with her family, and there hasn't been much I could do to physically stop her from taking the kids because I'm at work when she's done it.
Months go on and I'm not able to get any normal visitation, so I agree to another reconciliation which is what's going on now.

My wife was staying in a project house. I help her pack up her stuff, and of course the house is filthy and stinky and all that. A SMALL 3 bedroom place. Guess how many people are staying there (in a house registered to only my wife and the 2 kids)? At least 9 all told. Including my wife's mother who is now basically homeless, 2 others over the age of 21 (one of which is a half sister to my wife, the other her boyfriend), a 16 year old (half sister of my wife) and a girl who I believe is around 12 (another half sister, and they all four have different dads). In fact, when we were on our way out the door her mom was asking my wife if she thought it would be okay to have other people stay over after she went back with me. So there will be at least 6 people staying there even now, with none of them on the lease.

We get back here and we're all situated, my daughter complains of her head itching. I say to myself, "Ah f*ck, I know where this is going." Sure enough, head lice.

My son's now 11 months old, he had literally not even learned to CRAWL until this past week when he was taken out of that house (according to even my wife, he indeed had not crawled an inch until maybe 2 or 3 days ago), as he was basically never set down on a carpet. He was only put in one of those walkarounds that pediatricians recommend parents not use. His diet has for the last few months been mainly a rotation of formula and Pepsi.

Also my wife admits that she doesn't brush my daughter's teeth, but says every once in awhile she'll hand my daughter a toothbrush and tell her to.

So I mean, technically it could be worse, but I just thought I'd drop this on you guys and add to the "it really does happen" discourse and see what you said.

[wendl]

Forgive me, I am a little confused, so it your wife and the kids now living with you again.


Hope your taking pictures getting documentation (lease for project housing) I hope you have no joint accounts either.

I would read everything you can here.

Hopefully the other posters will give you some good links that will help you.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Bolivar OH]

A reading list that is a must!!!  Divorce is war.  You better have a strategy.

THE LIST
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/thelist.htm

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vassiliou.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner06.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-navarre.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner01.htm

THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand01.htm - size 40kb - 20 Oct 2003
12. Mediation And Parental Alienation Syndrome by Anita Vestal
This article looks at parental alienation syndrome (PAS), which is a complex manifestation of mental and emotional abuse resulting from conflicted parents fighting for custody.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vestal.htm - size 52kb - 20 Oct 2003
13. Recommendations for Dealing with Parents Who Induce a Parental Alienation Syndrome in Their Children
PAS is commonly seen in highly contested child-custody disputes. The author has described three types: mild, moderate, and severe, each of which requires special approaches by both legal and mental health professionals.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner02.htm - size 54kb - 20 Oct 2003
14. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Studies of target parents who are falsely accused of abuse report they tend to be less disturbed than their accusing counterparts.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand12.htm - size 53kb - 20 Oct 2003
15. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand11.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
16. Parental Alienation Information Archive
All the information on the SPARC site regarding Parental Alienation has been consolidated on this central reference page.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pasarchive.htm - size 17kb - 20 Oct 2003
17. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II) (cont.)
In the following case, the accused father was an officer in the military. Testimony on PAS by the defense expert provided the judge and jury with some alternative explanations as to the reasons the children accused their stepfather of abuse.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand13.htm - size 31kb - 20 Oct 2003
18. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand02.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
19. Expanding the Parameters of PAS
The newness of the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) compels its redefinition and refinement as new cases are observed and the phenomenon becomes better understood.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-cartwright.htm - size 32kb - 20 Oct 2003
20. PAS: How to Detect It and What to Do About It
Although parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a familiar term, there is still a great deal of confusion and unclarity about its nature, dimensions, and, therefore, its detection.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-walsh2.htm - size 24kb - 20 Oct 2003




One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.