court next week

[mom4good]

Dear Soc,
I am the SM to a 13 yr old girl and have been for 7 years. DH has had custody always. BM lives out of state and has had little to do with her, by her own choice. She visits a few weeks out of the year. During her last visit last summer, Bm told her we weren't coming for her and filled her full of lies. Sd was scared and confused. She begged us to come and get her. Bm refused to rt her to us as agreed. POlice couldn't help b/c visitation order for the summer was too vague.
Sd says that she will run away from BM if we send her back. She said that Bm was acting crazy and she is scared. Frankly, she scared us to death also. We really think she has mental problems.

we are the plaintiffs and have court next week. We have an atty and she is pro se. We live in GA. We would like SD to still maintain a relationship and visit BM if Bm is stable and SD wants to visit. We have always made her go, even if she fussed. Now we don't feel comfortable with it.
We know that Ga allows 14 yr olds to decide where to live and 11-13 yr olds to give a opinion....but what about visitation. We are not wanting to keep her from her, just protect her from the psychological harm.

1.What is our chance of getting custody and visitation changed? Currently joint w/ DH as primary, but BM has never been a part.

2. Is is reasonable to give a child the power to decide?

3 we have lots of evidence, etc, but what should we expect to win?

[socrateaser]

>1.What is our chance of getting custody and visitation changed? Currently joint w/ DH as primary, but BM has never been a part.

I don't read tea leaves, but in this case, I'd say you will probably win whatever you ask for, as the other parent is not represented, and does not exercise substantial custody.

>2. Is is reasonable to give a child the power to decide?

Well, if you mean, reasonable to give the SD the power to decide whether or not she wants to visit her mother, then I'd probably say no to the legal question. But as a practical matter, if you think the BM is mentally ill and the child is afraid of her, then bring it out in court and the judge will probably make the BM come to visit the child, where you live.

> 3 we have lots of evidence, etc, but what should we expect to win?

Um, how about a teddy bear or maybe a velvet elvis painting? All kidding aside, I can't tell you what you're gonna win. Court is always a crap shoot. If you want to guarantee your outcome, you should try to settle  before trial.