Adoption Questions

[FLMom]

History:
We live in Florida, adoptive mother lives in Wisconsin.

During a recent vacation we found out the my husband's
sister is pregnant. She is 25 yrs. old, and educable
mentally retarded. She is about on the level of a 12 yr.
old. She has previously had a son, who is severely
delayed to the point that he has been diagnosed as
possibly being autistic. This son is being raised by the
grandparents, and the mother sees him for visits about
once a week.

Adoptive mother came to us and asked us if we would adopt
her baby, due sometime in February or March. We agreed,
but the sticky point is her live-in boyfriend. He is normal, as
in not mentally delayed in any way. He is living in the US
under an assumed name illegally. He refuses to discuss
the adoption under any circumstances. We as a family
believe that he thinks he will be deported if he has to
appear in court.

I have spoken to case workers here in Florida. I know what
we have to do on our end (home study, background checks,
etc.) but the birth father refuses to acknowledge the situation.
Birth mother knows she cannot raise this child.

Under Wisconsin law both parents have to appear in court
to proceed with an adoption in order to do a termination of
parental rights. Birth mother falls between the cracks, as
she is mentally able enough that her parents are not her
guardians but she will need a lawyer and someone from
social services to prove that she has the mental capacity
to make this decision.

Assuming things move forward, Wisconsin law says that
during the 90 days it takes to make an adoption final the
child must go into foster care.

Questions:

(1) Can the court find that termination of parental rights are
in order when the birth mother wants the adoption but
the father refuses to be a part of the process?

(2) Can the fact the this able-minded man impregnated a
mentally challenged woman be considered?

(3) Does the fact that the grandparents are already raising
the other child mean anything in a case like this?

(4) During the 90 day waiting period can we be made a
foster home here in Florida and bring the baby back here?


I look forward to any insights you may have.

[socrateaser]

>(1) Can the court find that termination of parental rights
>are in order when the birth mother wants the adoption but
>the father refuses to be a part of the process?

If the father fights for custody, then he will get it, unless he's shown to be unfit to parent by clear and convincing evidence.

>
>(2) Can the fact the this able-minded man impregnated a
>mentally challenged woman be considered?

If the father does not appear and assert his rights to the child, then the adoption will continue and probably succeed. If the father shows up and fights for the child, at the beginning of your petition, then he will almost certainly defeat your attempt to adopt, unless you show him to be unfit to parent, and this has absolutely nothing to do with the father's possible status as an illegal alien.

>
>(3) Does the fact that the grandparents are already raising
>the other child mean anything in a case like this?

Nope.

>
>(4) During the 90 day waiting period can we be made a
>foster home here in Florida and bring the baby back here?

Same answer as all the others -- depends on what the father does or doesn't do.

The father probably doesn't realize it, but by appearing in court and demanding that custody of the child be awarded to him, he guarantees that he will not be deported from the U.S.

So, it really depends on how ignorant the father is of the law, and whether he attempts to assert his parental rights. If he fears deportation more than he wants his child, then he will not appear and defend, and he will lose on both issues. If he wants the child, then he will catch the brass ring and ya'll will be S.O.L.

[FLMom]

Thank you for your quick answer!

I do feel bad for the father, and as a NCP who's been denied
her children before I am the last person who would want to
deny someone their parental rights. We're hoping to keep this
an open adoption where all parties can maintain contact and the
child can know his/her heritage and family from both sides.

The birthmother is allowing the grandparents to raise her child
because she's said in the past that it's too hard for her to love
two people at the same time. The boyfriend is not "kid friendly"
from what the family says.

One more question:
What did you mean when you said that if he appeared in court
it would guarantee that he wouldn't be deported?

Thanks again. . .

[socrateaser]

>One more question:
>What did you mean when you said that if he appeared in court
>it would guarantee that he wouldn't be deported?

The minor child is a natural-born U.S. citizen. The U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service will not deport the legal parent of a minor child U.S. citizen, because there is a compelling governmental interest in advancing the child's welfare, and deporting an otherwise fit and willing parent does not serve that interest.

It's also extremely bad public relations.