No contact order clarification

[johnw]

Dear Soc,
              I live in NJ. Divorced 3 years. For the last 1 1/2 years I have lived with a woman and her daughter. My 2 kids love her, and they have known her for approx 2 1/2 years. On the mornings when my ex picks up the kids, often I have already left for work and my girlfriend is still here with the kids. The court ordered pick up time is 8am. My ex is continually early, anywhere from 7:30 to 7:55am.
Today I receive a letter from her attorney stating that my "tenant" does not relinquish the children to her when she arrives. It also states that my "tenant" says derogatory things to, and about the kids mother. This is absolutely false! The letter goes on to say that if not rectified, that in the best interest of the kids they will have to file an action on behalf of the kids to get a no contact order against my girlfriend.
1. Is this possible to get a no contact order against my girlfriend based on these ridiculous accusations?
2. Just because my ex can make false accusations, does the court react to false accusations just because kids are involved?
3. What will the court say to her when she claims the kids are not relinquished to her immediately, when she ALWAYS shows up before the court ordered pick up time of 8am?
4. My girlfriend will soon be my wife. Regardless, is ther anything that says, because I go to work before 8am, the kids are allowed to be picked up before the scheduled time just because my ex shows up early?

Another relavent point may be, all of us, including my ex and my girlfriend's ex, always got along excellent in the past. My ex started with these accusations etc. as soon as she went to court for more child support and the court actually cut her support in half. All this stuff has started since she financially became strapped.
5. Is this fact relavent to the court?

Sorry for being so long. Very fustrated by false accusations and the potentail harm they could cause.
Thanks
 

[socrateaser]

>1. Is this possible to get a no contact order against my
>girlfriend based on these ridiculous accusations?

Yes, very probably.

>2. Just because my ex can make false accusations, does the
>court react to false accusations just because kids are
>involved?

Same question, phrased different. Same answer as above.

>3. What will the court say to her when she claims the kids are
>not relinquished to her immediately, when she ALWAYS shows up
>before the court ordered pick up time of 8am?

The court will believe whatever the other parent alleges, unless you provide credible evidence to controvert the allegations.

>4. My girlfriend will soon be my wife. Regardless, is ther
>anything that says, because I go to work before 8am, the kids
>are allowed to be picked up before the scheduled time just
>because my ex shows up early?

The order is what it is. If you can PROVE to the court that you're in compliance, then you have nothing to worry about. The problem is, as always, proving that you are in compliance.

Send a letter to the attorney and copy the other parent as follows:

Dear ATTORNEYNAME:

I am in receipt of your letter of ??/??/??. I am dismayed to learn that your client believes that my fiance, FIANCESNAME, is willfully violating the court orders re custody. According to my fiance, your client routinely arrives between 15-30 minutes early for every pick up of our children, and demands that they be transferred. And, while neither she nor I have any reason to purposely delay the transfer of the kids, it is nevertheless, not always convenient to make that transfer whenever your client chooses to arrive.

In order to make sure that this matter does not become the subject of litigation, I am hereby notifying you and your client that my fiance will make an audio recording of each and every exchange of the children, from this point forward. When your client arrives, my fiance will great her and recite the arrival time in a manner that it will be recorded and so that your client can hear that it recorded. In this way, there will be absolutely no possibility of an argument over a violation of the current court orders.

To clarify things, any arrival by your client for an exchange of custody, that is more than 15 minutes prior to the court ordered exchange time, will not be honored. Please inform your client, that if she chooses to arrive more than 15 minutes early, that my fiance will make note of this on the recording, and, that if the pattern continues, that I will file a motion for contempt against your client.

Very truly yours,

YOURNAME
(Petitioner/Respondent/Plaintiff/Defendant) (use appropriate designation)

Then get your girlfriend a microcassette recorder, make sure it has fresh batteries and that your gf knows how to use it, and then USE IT!

...your troubles will vanish like the wind (probably to be replaced by others, but that will be another story for another day).