What to do about "supposed" mailings? and phone calls.

[CheatedMother]

   I am in VA.Father has custody. I have standard visitation and once a week call(specific night/time). (To be fair, I say "supposed" because I never got anything, but I'm not saying they werent mailed)

  For the last two weeks, ( this makes I believe 7 times total in less than 6 months), I've been unable to contact my son by phone. The line rings busy for hours. I've taken measures to be sure that it isnt a technical error.

  I talk to dad tonight, and he claims that I should call on various cell #s until I get them, cell numbers he claims to have sent in "all of my letters, and I have copies and documentation". Well, I have never received any mail from him, and certainly nothing certified. I'd CERTAINLY like to know what is within these letters, because  I feel its my right.

 I politely told him that if he wants me to call him on any other number, he needs to supply it to me via certified mail, as well as any future mailings.

 Soc, I dont want to waste my life away on this, or your time.

1. He is in contempt, but at what point should I file charges?

2. He claims to have sent other letters to me, which I HONESTLY have not recieved but feel the need to know about now, What course of action should I take with this?

3. What is your suggestion(s) for telling him that I want all mail certified, and I will do the same, and valid reasoning?

 Thank you kindly soc, please settle my aching heart.

[smtotwo]

I don't know what to tell you about the contempt, but as far as the letters,

We sent the ex a certified return receipt letter stating that ALL corresondence in the future must be sent to DH certified return receipt as she was claiming to have mailed medical bills that we never received.

We also sent a copy to the court to be placed in the court file with a cover letter that stated  Because of the claims that these letters have mailed but we have no proof of mailing we are now requesting that all letters be sent certified return receipt.  If letters are claimed to have been mailed and we do not receive them we will view them as not having been mailed.

It is our feeling that "ex-wife" is purposely not sending letters and medical bills she claims to have sent simply to set "DH" up for further contempt charges.

This was 2 years ago.  We haven't had any problems since then.

We also have a phonecorder, purchased at radio shack, and record all calls. Of course we live in a "one-party state" so we can do this without her permission or knowledge.  DH's court order specifies  phone contact on tues and thurs from 7-8 p.m.

Try these and good luck to you.

[Gecko]

[em][font color=green]We also have a phonecorder, purchased at radio shack, and record all calls. Of course we live in a "one-party state" so we can do this without her permission or knowledge. [/em][/font]

In light of the differing state laws governing electronic recording of conversations between private parties, you should be advised to err on the side of caution when recording or disclosing an interstate telephone call. The safest strategy is to assume that the stricter state law will apply.

[Ref]

We just got one of those recorders. The quality is horrible. Any advice? Maybe a new phone?

[socrateaser]

>1. He is in contempt, but at what point should I file
>charges?


Send a letter certified mail return receipt, stating that if you do not receive written advice, via certified mail, as to what phone number to call, within 10 days, that you will file for contempt. In the letter, list every occurance for which you allege that you have been denied contact, and ask for an explanation regarding each.

Then restate the conditions of your current orders, and state that you intend to call at exactly ??:?? ?M on such and such days, per the court order, and that you will record each and every conversation.

If he refuses to respond to your letter, he tacitly admits that what you allege is true. If he refuses to answer the phone, then you will start to compile a record of no answers.

Even if your court order prevents you from recording the conversation with the child, you can still record the initiation of the call, including the touch tone sounds. Those sounds can be translated back into numbers, and that is evidence of your call at a time and place. If it's a long distance call or a cell call, you can also use your phone detail as evidence.

Point is, you need credible, objective evidence of the contempt, in order to win -- otherwise, it will be your word against his, and you will lose.


>
>2. He claims to have sent other letters to me, which I
>HONESTLY have not recieved but feel the need to know about
>now, What course of action should I take with this?
>
>3. What is your suggestion(s) for telling him that I want all
>mail certified, and I will do the same, and valid reasoning?
>
> Thank you kindly soc, please settle my aching heart.

[smtotwo]

recorded call that "ALL FUTURE CALLS TO OR FROM ME WILL BE RECORDED".  

Then if they don't object they are agreeing to the recording of calls.

Then simply record ALL calls from then on.  Eventually the other party will forget that they're being recorded and do something stupid!

[smtotwo]

we haven't had any problem with ours. So maybe, yes try a different phone.