Just got a "good" settlement offer

[crayiii]

Please let me know what you think about this offer I just got on the Fax after talking with my wife's attorney.

My time with our son:

June 3-5
June 25-July2
July 16-23
August 13-20
September 2-5
October 14-16
November 23-27
December 16-23
January 13-16
February 17-20
March 3-5
March 31-April 9
May 26-29

Transportation will be that I pick him up in Portland (4.5 hour drive for me)

Additionally, if I pay the transportation costs I can have one extra weekend per month.

These is a temp plan offer and I told him that I would do it.

What are your thoughts on this?

[MixedBag]

It doesn't include Christmas -- be careful.

When are start and stop times?

And what about when the child gets older and in school?

Haven't followed your situation -- temp orders have a tendency to become permanent.

So -- having this defined by the calendar really messes it up down the road.  Why?  because Jun 3-5 isn't always gonna fall on a weekend.

[crayiii]

This is what it would look like for the upcoming months.  It is written in the order as every 3 or 4 day weekend each month unless there isn't one in which case it is my choice.


Holiday's are odd/even.

[socrateaser]

I can't comment on the settlement unless I know exactly what it is...and btw, you should NEVER settle on one part of a divorce agreement. You must have the entire deal in front of you, i.e.:

Child Support
Custody
Spousal Support
Property Division
Attorney Fees

If you don't, and you sign up for one part at a time, you will concede to something in each and by the time you're done, your opponent will spring the trap, and you'll have no leverage at all.

[crayiii]

I submitted a proposed temporary parenting plan and they made changes and sent it back.  It says proposed temporary parenting plan on it and not final or anything.

He told me on the phone that since we currently have an administrative order for CS that they would leave that alone.  He also said that they weren't going to be asking for attorney fees or support.  

He said that he thinks it's best to back away from all the legal stuff, get a set parenting plan in place and live with it until my wife and I feel like we can work on a permanent order.

He also said that if I agree to 100% travel costs they would give me a $800 per month credit on CS and that since my CS is only $500 I may end up not owing anything if the court agrees.

Am I being naive?  

[lovebug]

Be careful.

I would never agree to take a credit toward child support. It could come back to bite you in the long run. See about your soon-to-be ex paying you a set amount to offset your travel expenses. Maybe 50% of your expected gas/airfair/busfair whatever. You continue to pay the ordered child support. Meaning she pays you and you pay her. No credit is acceptable.

Also, if you agree to to 100% transportation (with the offset of $800) and your wife losses her job or decides that she doesn't want to work anymore she could go to the judge and say "I cannot afford to pay for travel because I have no job, and I need dad to pay child support, or I'm gonna have to go on welfare". The judge  feels sorry for her (whihc he probably would) and agrees and because you have already been providing 100% transportation you have shown that you are willing and able to do so. "So sorry for you", the judge will say, " but Mom has a kid to take care of. Now, pay up."  

It's not fair. You should always remember that her lawyer has no interst in helping you. He sounds like he has an interest in helping himself off this case.


Goos luck! At least it sounds like you might be getting somewhere.

~D~

[socrateaser]

>I submitted a proposed temporary parenting plan and they made
>changes and sent it back.  It says proposed temporary
>parenting plan on it and not final or anything.
>
>He told me on the phone that since we currently have an
>administrative order for CS that they would leave that alone.
>He also said that they weren't going to be asking for attorney
>fees or support.  
>
>He said that he thinks it's best to back away from all the
>legal stuff, get a set parenting plan in place and live with
>it until my wife and I feel like we can work on a permanent
>order.
>
>He also said that if I agree to 100% travel costs they would
>give me a $800 per month credit on CS and that since my CS is
>only $500 I may end up not owing anything if the court
>agrees.
>
>Am I being naive?  

There's no point in trying to second guess. Write him back and state that you will agree to stipulate to the temporary plan, and to continue the June 3 hearing, if your ex will move to dismiss the TRO, and stipulate to modify child support to include $800 per month in transportation costs.

Transportation costs, are "in the nature of support," not custody, so when he says that they don't want to touch the existing order, that's nonsense. The support order must be modified to take into account transportation costs, otherwise, you will be relying on your ex to pay you $800 per month, as some sort of contractual agreement that will be very difficult to enforce.

See how he responds. I'll wager that he will not agree to do anything but the parenting plan. If so, then you're being suckered with promises that will never be fullfilled.

[crayiii]

They agreed to the dismissal of the TRO and the $800 credit was something that I brought up as a potential option and he agreed that they would do it.  We decided against it and the travel is currently written up that mom will purchase the round trip tickets from Spokane to Portland and I am responsible for picking our son up and dropping him off at the Portland airport.

He told me that they would still include both mine and my wife's transportation costs in the CS order.

[Fobbed-Fodder]

Crayiii,

Please don't take this wrong, but it is my sincere opinion that the minuscule amount of time that they offered you to be with your 6 year old son sucks.

In my "temporary" orders I was given, by the Commissioner, the 2nd, 3rd & 4th weekend of every month from 5:00 pm Friday until 8:00 am Monday.

And;

Tuesday at 8:00 am until Thursday at 8:00 am following the 5th and 1st weekends of every month.

And;

Every Wednesday from 4:00 pm until 7:00 pm.

And Regarding Holidays;


"Friday and Monday Holidays shall attach to the adjoining weekend of the parent exercising parenting time"

You should not accept that residential schedule, you can, and should get more time with your son, you don't even have every other weekend, think about it!

And as far as the transportation B.S., Soc is right on the mark, it has to be in the Order of Child Support or DCS will not credit a thing.

The thing to remember about a Temporary Parenting Plan is that it should not be an EYE POPER for the Judge to read, and it should state the exact times for exchanges of the child between parents.

I learned a few tricks on how to make the residential schedule section easy for the Judge to read, see below for an example.

3.2   SCHOOL SCHEDULE.

Upon enrollment in school, the child shall reside with the [X] mother, the following days and times the child will reside with or be with the father:

[X]    Friday at 4:00 pm to Monday at 8:00 am
    the 2nd, 3rd, 4th weekends of the month.
   
[X]    Tuesday at 8:00 am to Thursday at 8:00 am
    following the 1st and 5th weekends of the month.

This will give you 11 overnights a month with holidays being a bonus extra, 12 or 13.  If you can swing Wednesdays then go for that also.

Go for it!

[crayiii]

I live over 500 miles away.

Dang, I REALLY want to see my son.  He called yesterday (first time I've spoken to him since Feb.) and told me how much he misses me and wants to see me.  I haven't seen him since last July.