The storm...knew it was coming

[kitten]

>He signs it and prints "under duress" below it.

Not so simple.  

[catherine]

My point is, there is a way to play the game right back.  Signing "under duress" means that he did not sign it willingly, but signed it with protest.

Two ways to look at it and two things to happen:
1) She refuses the children and demands he sign it without that statement.  He walks away.
2) She gives you the children and walks away with her "prize" paper which would only stregthen your case saying that she "bribed" you by only allowing visitation if you lived by her rules.

Either way, at least it's trying to see the kids.

[catherine]

Typical.  Don't fall prey so easily.  That is WRONG of her, but it isn't terribly abusing the kids.  It's disappointing them and including them in adult manners.

Sometimes, you have to go with your gut and do the right thing without your attorney.  This isn't a capital murder case.  Your attorney works for you, you don't work for him.  If DH signed the note specifying that weekend only, or under duress, then you would have the kids and she would not have had the chance to diss him and fill their heads with lies.  That's called comprise.  It's also called dealing with a self-absorbed revengful person: something that can't be changed overnight in a person.  It takes time.  

What would have been in the kids best interest tonight?  My guess is that your DH picking them up would be the best thing for them.

[Raisin_3]

Why wouldn't he just sign it?  She was willing to make the time up.  My dh and his ex signed something everytime we made a switch- it protects everyone.

[MYSONSDAD]

Well, first, I would not sign anything without the attorney. Advice given to me by my attorney. Could open up a whole new can of worms.

On the show, Dr. Phil asked if both sides would go to therapy. I beleive you mentioned that BM is refusing to go now. I would follow thru with his offer. Insist that you want to proceed. Maybe Will and his children. They need to heal. I would think that Dr. Phil would do what is best for those children. Try to find some common ground and work from there.

Whether she is willing or not, your family needs to get thru this. With the high conflict involved, it will help get those kids some much needed help.  So unfair that they are put in the middle. Very wrong...

[MYSONSDAD]

"Typical. Don't fall prey so easily. That is WRONG of her, but it isn't terribly abusing the kids. It's disappointing them and including them in adult manners."


Emotional and Mental abuse is just as damaging as Physical abuse.

"Children learn what they live"

[kitten]

He has compromised with her before.  She has always found a way to use it against him.  His attorney advise due to the volitile nature of this woman and the excessive litigation to not do ANYTHING without speaking with her first.  BTW...it is child abuse what she did last night.  She gave permission, told the children and then took it back and told the children their Dad changed his mind about seeing him.  AND then would not answer the phone last night so he could speak to the oldest son who was hurt the most by this little game.  All she had to do was write down that she was making up visitaion time from Thursday and sign it.  She should never have even told the children until it was a done deal, but she did so she could tell them that there Daddy let them down again.  She is the one with all the power and the court gave it to her on hearsay.

[Raisin_3]

Had he not been so stubborn to not sign it the kids would have been with him and not dealing with it from their mother.  He is mad she did that but the reason she did it was b/c he was trying to one up her.  If ALL the games stopped it would be better for the kids.

[Kitty C.]

...And if you and catherine knew the WHOLE story, you'd understand just how abusive this is to these children.

This is a mother who went on NATIONAL TV and said that she saw NO problem taking the children away from their father and moving them 3000 miles away. And that's just the tip of the iceburg.  These kids have been thru HELL.

kitten, get the devise, use it, document her ass and make DAMN sure that ALL this info gets back to the producers, just so they and Dr. Phil can see just how wrong they were.  Tell them that you stuck your necks out on this, based upon help THEY offered, and the children deserve better than this.  Back 'em into a corner and make them honor their committments.

[MYSONSDAD]

"His attorney advise due to the volitile nature of this woman and the excessive litigation to not do ANYTHING without speaking with her first"

Maybe you missed this part. Every situation is different and I prefer to follow my attorneys advise.

"Children learn what they live"