Re: Teenage Boys - Court Date

[SFMedic]

Dear Soc,

>>Criminal trespass requires some intent to do a criminal act. Picking >>up your kids doesn't satisfy, therefore, while you could be sued in >>civil court for trespass, you aren't gonna get arrested, unless you do >>something stupid.

>>You need to have a certified copy of your court order. Ideally, that >>order would be registered in WV, that way a local sheriff could >>actually force your ex to transfer the kids to you. But, let's face it, >>you don't want an altercation. What you want is your kids, and if >>your ex won't turn them over with a smile, then you want a recording >>of her frown for a judge to view and find her in contempt, and then >>reverse custody.

1.  Question:  I should have asked you about this from day one, how "exactly" do I go about filing my two (2) current court orders through the Monongalia County, WV court system?

2.  Question:  What exactly takes place regarding the mother, typical turn around time, and is it a process of her being served notice in some form or fashion?

3.  Question:  I assume I will be sent something back through the Monongalia court system saying my standing court orders have been received and processed or registered, just asking for clarification?

Thanks...

[socrateaser]

>1.  Question:  I should have asked you about this from day
>one, how "exactly" do I go about filing my two (2) current
>court orders through the Monongalia County, WV court system?

Just call the court clerk and ask if they have a form that they use to register an out of state custody order. If not, just ask for the cost, and then send them a certified copy with a cover letter requesting registration. Then you need to serve notice that it's been registered on the other parent. No biggie.

>
>2.  Question:  What exactly takes place regarding the mother,
>typical turn around time, and is it a process of her being
>served notice in some form or fashion?

See above.

>
>3.  Question:  I assume I will be sent something back through
>the Monongalia court system saying my standing court orders
>have been received and processed or registered, just asking
>for clarification?

I don't understand the question.

[SFMedic]

Dear Soc,

Listed below is a letter that I plan on sending out this coming Friday, as it stands, still no reponse from the Mother.  Stated within the letter are verbatim comments from the Judge during our Protective Order hearing.

1.  Question: Should any changes be made to letter, if so, point out which areas, and how they should be reworded?.

2.  Quesion:  I listed direct comments, that came from an audio CD I picked up from the court house this morning, I'm doing this so that the Mother is reminded what took place during our P.O. hearing, would this be wrong or unnecessary to do?  Hoping it's a wake up call of sorts??

Thanks....


Dear Xxxxx,

   This correspondence is in regard, to my scheduled visitation being denied, for the 2005 Thanksgiving holiday, per the standing court order, I was to have the children this year, beginning Wednesday evening (Nov 23rd) at 6:30 pm.  

   As of the letter you received, dated November 19th, I have not received a written response, nor have I been directly contacted by you at anytime, regarding my scheduled visitation.    

   I would very much like to resolve these issues amicably, without having to resort to further unnecessary litigation through the courts, and not be forced to pursue a "change of custody", due to my court ordered visitation, deliberately being denied for no reason.

   I would remind you, and ask that consideration is given, regarding comments made to both of us, following our closing remarks, during the November 18th protective order hearing with Judge Xxxx Xxxxx, they were:

   "I'm gonna deny the request for a final protective order at this time"

   "I can tell that there's a lot behind the scenes here, there's a pending contempt matter regarding visitation"

   "there's a distance between the father and the children when visitation does in fact occur"

   "sometimes, I don't know if it applies in this case, but sometimes children do what they can to get out of a situation where one parent has a different standard of discipline then another parent, and of course children being what they are, certainly would shy away from the parent that's stricter so to speak"

   "there is nothing preventing it" (regarding my visitation resuming)

   "if you have a visitation order that has not been changed, then I expect everybody to abide by whatever orders are in effect right now"

   "if you have a visitation schedule that entitles you visitation on that date, then visitation should occur or it can be taken up at the time of the contempt hearing"

   "if the judge in the contempt hearing believes you were denied visitation for no reason, he can add extra visits to make up for those, so I'm not sure what would be accomplished by denying those visits"

   "but if he's entitled to have his visits ma'am, it would be my suggestion to you that the children visit with him especially in light of my finding today"
   
   "your honor it's not me keeping the children away they're refusing to go (Mother), well then ma'am that tells me they have a discipline problem, because minor children are not going to decide when they're gonna visit their parents, are we clear on that, there's a court order"

   "but they do when they're scared to go visit their parent, okay well that has to be taken up in a juvenile CINA petition, if the children are out of control and they're not going to follow the instructions of their parents, then, they could end up in foster care, so it's incumbent upon you as the custodial parent to make sure they do what the court has ordered them to do, okay "

   I would not want to see either of our children placed in foster care, due to not being able to work out an amicable arrangement with each other.  I'm hopeful that you will come to realize, my resuming visitation with the children, is something we should be able to discuss and come to an understanding, without involving the courts.  How it is just as important for the children, that they not only maintain a relationship with myself, but their immediate and extended family they have been a part of for the past 14 ½ years.  
   
Sincerely,




Xxxx X Xxxxx

[socrateaser]

>Dear Soc,
>
>Listed below is a letter that I plan on sending out this
>coming Friday, as it stands, still no reponse from the Mother.
> Stated within the letter are verbatim comments from the Judge
>during our Protective Order hearing.
>
>1.  Question: Should any changes be made to letter, if so,
>point out which areas, and how they should be reworded?.
>
>2.  Quesion:  I listed direct comments, that came from an
>audio CD I picked up from the court house this morning, I'm
>doing this so that the Mother is reminded what took place
>during our P.O. hearing, would this be wrong or unnecessary to
>do?  Hoping it's a wake up call of sorts??

Huge overkill. Dump all the quotes and merely state that you just want to spend time with your child and that what she's doing is hurting the child and his relationship with you.

Everything you write/say/do must be framed as to its effect on the child, and not on how it effects you or your ex.

Otherwise, you sound like an angry man, rather than someone who's merely defending his child's interests.

[SFMedic]

Dear Soc,

I never did end up hearing from the Mother, regarding my Thanksgiving visitation, can't say I was too surprised.

I did call and spoke with the case worker, to inform him of my need for his testimony, regarding the departing comments the Mother made as she was leaving the court room.

The case worker informed me, he doesn't have a problem testifying, but his supervisor has to approve it, and most times their staff attorney's try to squash any type of supoena being issued.

1.  Question:  Regarding the supoena for the case worker, has this been a common practice in your various dealings with past custody hearings?

2.  Question:  I sent the multi-carbon document (supoena form), they have to process - stamp it so to speak, then mail it back to me, so I can serve it (mail it) to the case worker, is this the normal process?  Considering my court date is next Weds (Dec 7th), not sure if this will be done in time by the courts.

3.  Question:  You had recommended my pursuing a "change of custody", which I will be doing.  Besides the 4 months of not seeing the children for schedule visitation, and the Thanksgiving holiday, following the protective order proceedings, what are my chances of this taking place?  I've been told and have read, how one of the ways a Judge can deal with a "Contempt / Denial of Visitation", is thru a reversal of custody.

Thanks....

[socrateaser]

>1.  Question:  Regarding the supoena for the case worker, has
>this been a common practice in your various dealings with past
>custody hearings?

The state will try to keep its employees out of the courtroom to save money and reduce the possibility of liability for something that's uncovered during testimony. You can still obtain the case worker's testimony if you serve a lawfull subpoena in a timely manner. I don't think you have enough time to successfuly force the case worker's appearance at this late date. Even if you get it back from the court, the state's staff attorney will probably say that you didn't provide enough time and then you will either have to try to get your hearing continued, or proceed without the case worker's testimony.

>2.  Question:  I sent the multi-carbon document (supoena
>form), they have to process - stamp it so to speak, then mail
>it back to me, so I can serve it (mail it) to the case worker,
>is this the normal process?  Considering my court date is next
>Weds (Dec 7th), not sure if this will be done in time by the
>courts.

See #1.

>
>3.  Question:  You had recommended my pursuing a "change of
>custody", which I will be doing.  Besides the 4 months of not
>seeing the children for schedule visitation, and the
>Thanksgiving holiday, following the protective order
>proceedings, what are my chances of this taking place?  I've
>been told and have read, how one of the ways a Judge can deal
>with a "Contempt / Denial of Visitation", is thru a reversal
>of custody.

A reversal of custody based on continuous denial and contempt findings is about as rare as a winning Powerball ticket. The only time it happens is where the contempts are accompanied by serious acts by the custodial parent that affirmatively harm the child's interests, i.e., drug distribution from the home, or physical abuse. Otherwise, it's a sublime fantasy, because the court is interested in the child's welfare and stability more than maintaining the relationship with the NCP. Unfair? You bet. But, where the rights of the parents balance each other out, the child's interests will break the tie, and overwhelmingly, the court will err on the side of caution with the "devil that it knows," vs. changing to the "devil that it don't know."

But, as I am fond of saying when asked about probabilities of success or failure in a courtroom: I don't read tea leaves.

[SFMedic]

Dear Soc,

This afternoon, I just accessed the county court docket via internet,
for my pre-trial conference hearing.  

1.  Question:  I noticed there is another case already scheduled 15 minutes following mine, which is the last one for the day.  Not sure if this will make a big difference or if I'll be allowed some additional time by the Master to cover some ground with witness testimony?

2.  Question:  The pre-trial conference is being presided with a Master, is there any difference between them and an actual Judge?

3.  Question:  The Mother has still taken the position of being unwilling to communicate at all with me, in trying to resolve the visitation dispute.  Should I pretty much at this point, just expect the Master to end up referring our case for an actual court hearing to be scheduled at a later date?

4.  Question:  I was contacted today by the Case Worker, who was present at the previous hearing, regarding the "temporary protective order", that was of course later dismissed.  He informed me that he will be present for the pre-trial conference.  His staff attorney advised me, due to the shortness of receiving the supoena, the Judge would have to decide if his (Case Worker) testimony would be allowed.  Is there a particular way, I should address the Master with stating the relevance / importance of his testimony?  Thanks....

5.  Question:  Is it safe to assume, at the very least, some type of a visitation schedule should resume and be addressed by the Master to include the "Contempt of Court" motion, in light of being denied the Thanksgiving Holiday and 4 months of no visitation with the children?

6.  Question:  Any other suggestions or comments you would recommend would be great appreciated!

Thanks....

[cowboy crazy]

Just wandering how court went yesterday?  Update us when you get a chance!!  Hoping things went well.

[SFMedic]

Dear Soc,

 Going to court on Dec 7th, was a total waste of time. It started with a 15 minute session with a mediator, who was totally bias against men in general.  

He starts telling me how the Mother can legally deny any given weekend of visitation if they had a sporting event, school dance or any other after school activity, that she wanted them to attend, in spite of what my court order reads.  That pretty much told me up front, what I was dealing with.

Of course none of what he mentioned is even stipulated in my current court order.  I'm to have the children every other weekend.

The Mother was relentless towards me, repeatedly accussing me of child abuse towards the children, in front of the mediator.  I reminded her how the case was dismissed, due to the case workers determination and recommendation.  Well, she didn't want to hear that, and kept saying how there was no bruises or broken bones, and the kids were very much afraid of me and that's why she/they haven't still come down.

But, it gets better, we're in front of the Master, he annouces how he will not be taking any testimony and cannot make a ruling regarding the Contempt of Court motion.  He checks the docket, and it's rescheduled until Jan 20, 2006 for a 1 hour block of time, hopefully in front of a Judge this time.  I'm actually wondering just how much I could run up the clock during the testimony of my witnesses and my cross examination of the Mother, so that she has very little time left, when it's her turn, a not so nice thought I know.  He asked me what time would I prefer 9 am or 1:30 pm, I replied due to the distance the defendant and children would be traveling, make it for 1:30 pm.  The "Enforcement and Modification" of visitation will not be addressed, until April 25th.  So where the motions were initially combined by a Judge, they have now been separated by a Master, why I don't know for sure, and at the time, didn't think to ask.  The only thing I can think of, maybe it was done deliberately to force a cooling off period between us?

I asked about my visitation resuming immediately.  His reply, "I know it's no small comfort with what's taking place right now, regarding your visitation, turns to the Mother and point blank ask her has it been 4 months that you have refused the father visitation, she very proudly states that yes she has".  The Judge then says, "I realize this probably will not mean anything to you right now, should you choose to deny visitation between now and your next court hearing, you do so at  your own peril".  Not sure, what that's suppose to mean, other than just another empty threat from the Judge, based on what happen that day.

The drama doesn't end there, we're dismissed from the court room, I'm putting my paperwork back in bag, still in the courtroom and noticed someone is yelling outside in the hallway, I walk out to see and hear the Mother yelling and sticking her fingers inches from my wife's face, as she's just asking her about us talking with the boys before they leave and can't we work something out.

The Mother yells back at her, saying nothing is going to happen until your husband admits he has a problem, referring to the child abuse once again, and add's that my wife's not blood to them anyway, and walks off.   During the confrontation with the Mother, twice the bailiff had to approach the Mother to calm down and walk away.  This all taking place in front of my wife's family, our Rabbi, the case worker, and our children.  My wife ended up going into tears, she was never confrontational the entire time, she just wanted to talk.

The Case Worker immediately approached me, and strongly suggested that I initiate a subpoena for him to testify on Jan 20th, on my behalf.  He told me anyone can see there isn't any abuse taking place, and that it's more of a discipline issue, where "I'm strict and she doesn't do anything", and that's why the boys do what they want.

1.  Question: The following day, I initiated another "petition for Contempt" due to denial of visitation (now 4 months, including Thanksgiving Day Holiday), and this time, in the "details of denial" I stated,  "Defendant continues to violate standing court order for over 4months, in light of the findings and verdict, that was rendered from two previous motions (Nov 18th and Dec 7th), and the willful, deliberate discounting of recommendations made, regarding visitation resuming immediately, from Judge Xxxxx and Master Xxxx." In the remarks section for further relief, I stated, "That this Honorable Court pass an order finding the Defendant in contempt and that custody of the minor children be granted to the Plaintiff".   I'm hoping, given the circumstances, that this would be an option considered by the Judge, compared to my previous contempt motion, of just requesting visitation to resume and checking off jail time?

2.  Question: Given that the temp protective order (Nov 18th) was dismissed due to the case worker's determination / written report, and insufficient evidence, can she still legally reference this in someway or during a cross-examination of myself, should I be called to the witness stand (expecting that I will be)?  Part of the reason I'm even asking, is because I'll still be Pro Se, like the Mother was during this hearing and probably for the one in Jan 20, 2006.  I'm also expecting the Mother to pull out every dirty little trick in the book, once she receives the "amended" contempt of court motion and reads my requestiing a "reversal of custody".

3.  Question:  Given that the case worker is willing to testify, shouldn't this diminish her ability to try and use anything during the Jan 20th hearing as a means to further deny my visitation?  Even though that same Judge (Nov 18th) strongly recommended to her, that my visitation should resume immediately before we were dismissed from the court room?

4.  Question:  The case worker was present in the hallway during the Nov 18th hearing, when I asked the Mother about resuming visitation,  she turned and yelled "you can go to hell", to include witnessing the tail end of her sticking her finger in my wife's face with the bailiff present, during the Dec 7th hearing.  I would like to know, how would you frame questions directed to the Mother in such a way, hoping that she would hang herself?  The purpose of the case worker initially showing up, was to testify what she said and did the last time in the hallway (Nov 18th).  I want to demonstrate the lack of consideration towards my wife, not to mention, yet another great example demonstrated in front of the children, how it's okay for the Mother, to say or do whatever she wants without being held accountable..!

5.  Question:  Any other comments or recommendations, greatly appreciated..!!!

Thanks...



   

[socrateaser]

These are pretty complex "questions." Try to separate the facts from the questions, ok? I can't speed read this sort of paragraph.

>1.  Question: The following day, I initiated another "petition
>for Contempt" due to denial of visitation (now 4 months,
>including Thanksgiving Day Holiday), and this time, in the
>"details of denial" I stated,  "Defendant continues to violate
>standing court order for over 4months, in light of the
>findings and verdict, that was rendered from two previous
>motions (Nov 18th and Dec 7th), and the willful, deliberate
>discounting of recommendations made, regarding visitation
>resuming immediately, from Judge Xxxxx and Master Xxxx." In
>the remarks section for further relief, I stated, "That this
>Honorable Court pass an order finding the Defendant in
>contempt and that custody of the minor children be granted to
>the Plaintiff".   I'm hoping, given the circumstances, that
>this would be an option considered by the Judge, compared to
>my previous contempt motion, of just requesting visitation to
>resume and checking off jail time?

A reversal of custody is possible, but about as likely as a winning Powerball(r) ticket.

>
>2.  Question: Given that the temp protective order (Nov 18th)
>was dismissed due to the case worker's determination / written
>report, and insufficient evidence, can she still legally
>reference this in someway or during a cross-examination of
>myself, should I be called to the witness stand (expecting
>that I will be)?  Part of the reason I'm even asking, is
>because I'll still be Pro Se, like the Mother was during this
>hearing and probably for the one in Jan 20, 2006.  I'm also
>expecting the Mother to pull out every dirty little trick in
>the book, once she receives the "amended" contempt of court
>motion and reads my requestiing a "reversal of custody".

You say: "Your Honor, I respectfully object on grounds of relevancy and prejudice. That matter was dismissed for lack of evidence."

>3.  Question:  Given that the case worker is willing to
>testify, shouldn't this diminish her ability to try and use
>anything during the Jan 20th hearing as a means to further
>deny my visitation?  Even though that same Judge (Nov 18th)
>strongly recommended to her, that my visitation should resume
>immediately before we were dismissed from the court room?

I doubt you'll need to do more than object to any reference to the prior TRO.

>
>4.  Question:  The case worker was present in the hallway
>during the Nov 18th hearing, when I asked the Mother about
>resuming visitation,  she turned and yelled "you can go to
>hell", to include witnessing the tail end of her sticking her
>finger in my wife's face with the bailiff present, during the
>Dec 7th hearing.  I would like to know, how would you frame
>questions directed to the Mother in such a way, hoping that
>she would hang herself?  The purpose of the case worker
>initially showing up, was to testify what she said and did the
>last time in the hallway (Nov 18th).  I want to demonstrate
>the lack of consideration towards my wife, not to mention, yet
>another great example demonstrated in front of the children,
>how it's okay for the Mother, to say or do whatever she wants
>without being held accountable..!

Q: Do you remember the argument that took place right after our 11/18/05 hearing, between yourself and my wife in the hallway of the courthouse?

A: (if she says yes, then you move on; if she says no, then you can point to the case worker and tell her that she's under oath and that the case worker is prepared to testify to the events that took place in the hallway; if she starts whining, you just let her go, and then say: "Your Honor, the witness is non-responsive. Will the court please instruct the witness to answer the question either yes or no?). Assuming yes, then...

Q: Do you remember that our children were present?

A: (deal with same as above). Assuming yes, then...

Q: Do you think that it's in the children's best interests that they be exposed to your berating my wife in public? (this is technically "argumentative," and objectionable, but if she doesn't have an attorney, then it's a great question; if she does, and lawyer objects, then you rephrase the same question only replace "berating" with "arguing with"). Assuming yes, then...

A: (you say, "Really? No further questions, your honor," or, move on to some other topic). if "no", then...

Q: Then why did you start shouting at my wife?

(This could go on for a long time, depending upon her answers, so you'll have to take it from here).

>
>5.  Question:  Any other comments or recommendations, greatly
>appreciated..!!!

The master knows that your ex is on the ropes, and that she's screwing herself over, thus his comments about "at your peril." Just keep on the "high road." It's got to be about the kid's best interests, not about you trying to get your ex to "hang herself."

PS. If you're planning on examining your ex during a contempt hearing, don't forget, that your ex cannot be compelled to testify against herself, and the judge will remind her of that before the hearing begins.