Now she's refusing my time

[crayiii]

I finally got an email from my ex regarding my Thanksgiving time that I am supposed to get.  She said that I only gave her 19 days notice instead of the 21-days required by the order so she didn't buy the ticket and I wasn't going to get my time.

The order states that I must give 21-days notice of my intention to excercise my parenting time.  I sent a fax to her attorney months ago saying I planned on excercising "all" of my time in the parenting plan.  He says that is insufficient and she says that I didn't send it letter to her and since her attorney doesn't buy the tickets, that doesn't work.  I also have a affidavit from a dissinterested 3rd party that I had witness a call between mom and I (on speakerphone) well in advance of the 21 days notice discussing my Thanksgiving time.

I am also supposed to have our child for "the half of winter break that includes Christmas".  Mom sent the ticket information and it has him returning on the 23rd.

I don't think that I can do anything about Thanksgiving at this point.  I faxed a letter and a copy of the order to the sheriff asking that he keep it on file.  Do you think I could drive over there and get a deputy to help with the order?

On Christmas, should I just buy my own return ticket for him and not send him back until after Christmas?

I guess I can't do anything about this except file contempt???????

[socrateaser]

>I finally got an email from my ex regarding my Thanksgiving
>time that I am supposed to get.  She said that I only gave her
>19 days notice instead of the 21-days required by the order so
>she didn't buy the ticket and I wasn't going to get my time.
>
>The order states that I must give 21-days notice of my
>intention to excercise my parenting time.  I sent a fax to her
>attorney months ago saying I planned on excercising "all" of
>my time in the parenting plan.  He says that is insufficient
>and she says that I didn't send it letter to her and since her
>attorney doesn't buy the tickets, that doesn't work.  I also
>have a affidavit from a dissinterested 3rd party that I had
>witness a call between mom and I (on speakerphone) well in
>advance of the 21 days notice discussing my Thanksgiving
>time.
>
>I am also supposed to have our child for "the half of winter
>break that includes Christmas".  Mom sent the ticket
>information and it has him returning on the 23rd.
>
>I don't think that I can do anything about Thanksgiving at
>this point.  I faxed a letter and a copy of the order to the
>sheriff asking that he keep it on file.  Do you think I could
>drive over there and get a deputy to help with the order?
>
>On Christmas, should I just buy my own return ticket for him
>and not send him back until after Christmas?
>
>I guess I can't do anything about this except file
>contempt???????

The attorney is correct, and you aren't gonna get a contempt out of this, unless your disinterested third party is extremely disinterested, i.e., not a friend or family member. And, that witness would have to go with you to court in Spokane, because a defendant has a Sixth Amendment right to "face" her accusers. Without that, the testimony/affidavit would be inadmissible to prove notice. Thus, no contempt.

So, the mom's a bad actor and you're not gonna get any Turkey time. Sorry. As for Christmas, you can tell the ex that she can either arrange for a return flight on the correct day, or that you will buy a new return ticket, and then take her to court on contempt charges for reimbursement.

Don't give her this option until the child is with you, otherwise, she'll never send him.

[crayiii]

When we "went on the record" with the judge last week.  The judge said that I get Thanksgiving and she buys the ticket.  Isn't that enough?

Since the advance was so she could buy the ticket, I just bought the ticket myself and am sending the information to her and her attorney.  Will that help?

[socrateaser]

>When we "went on the record" with the judge last week.  The
>judge said that I get Thanksgiving and she buys the ticket.
>Isn't that enough?

Yes, if you know that's in the court record, it is enough, but, you won't be able to prove it to a sheriff so as to enforce the order, because you would need a written order signed by the court, and you won't get that by tomorrow!

>Since the advance was so she could buy the ticket, I just
>bought the ticket myself and am sending the information to her
>and her attorney.  Will that help?

You need to be a little more express in what your plan is, cause I'm not following you here.

[crayiii]

The order states "Due to the necessity of purchasing airline transportation in advance, the father shall give the mother at least 21 days advance notice of his intention to excercise his residential time with the child so that the mother may purchase airline transportation at the lowest fare."

What I'm getting at is this:  The advance notice isn't to "excercise my residential time" it's for mom to purchase the tickets.  If I purchase the tickets, why the need for 21-days advance notice?

[socrateaser]

>The order states "Due to the necessity of purchasing airline
>transportation in advance, the father shall give the mother at
>least 21 days advance notice of his intention to excercise his
>residential time with the child so that the mother may
>purchase airline transportation at the lowest fare."
>
>What I'm getting at is this:  The advance notice isn't to
>"excercise my residential time" it's for mom to purchase the
>tickets.  If I purchase the tickets, why the need for 21-days
>advance notice?

I think you have the correct interpretation, however, it's just vague enough to be amenable to an alternative interpretation, and that would negate the willfulness and conscious disregard mental state required to prove contempt. So, while the judge may adopt your interpretation and clarify the order, you will NEVER get a deputy sheriff to split these sort of hairs and consequently, you cannot enforce the order in the manner that you would like.

You could offer to reimburse mother for any costs of the flight greater than that of what she would have paid had you given timely notice. Or, you can just say, "I think that this order plus the judge's comments at the hearing are sufficient notice that I was to have our son during the Thanksgiving holiday, and if you don't agree, then after Thanksgiving I will return to court and ask the court for a contempt order against you."

This will probably cause your ex to recoil and say, "screw off," so if the ultimate goal is to have your kid on Thurs-Sun, then you need to do a little begging, or it ain't gonna happen.

[crayiii]

I purchased the ticket and sent the confirmation to mom and she said that she would put him on the plane.

[socrateaser]

>I purchased the ticket and sent the confirmation to mom and
>she said that she would put him on the plane.

Great. In Jan, after everything's settled down, move the court for a clarification of the order and reimbursement for the amount of the ticket that the other parent would have reasonably had to pay had you given 21 days notice.