In need of guidance.

[Ronp]

Dear Socratease

I am in need of some guidance. I am not sure how to proceed with my case or if  my attorney is acting in my or my childs best intrest. I'll do my best to explain a convoluted set of circumstances and events. I live in Los Angeles, Ca. Where my case resides.

I have a 3 yo son residing with CP.  I was awarded JC as well as a visitation schedule 2 1/2 years ago. Current visitation is T 3-7, Th 3-7, Sun 2-6. I have missed two visits due to Pneumonia but that is all.
Other than that I have been there for every visit without exception.

My problems are as follows: CP is erradic in behavior and continually thwarts my visitation time with my son. Most recently, she failed to show for Fathers Day. I found out she took my child to Arizona without my knowledge.  I lost two consective  visits in this episode.

The CP refuses to disclose any information about my son being in counseling or any information about a forensic evaluation that was supposed to take place. I sent her a registered letter requestingany and all informatiom and no response to date..

In the 2 1/2 years in dealing with CP I have had 20 episodes with me having to have the Sheriff's Dept enforce the court order. Eight of these times she just dissappeared. The deputies wrote reports for dectives who sent them to the court for inclusion in my court file.

in May 2004, I discovered my son exiting the rear door to their home where a swimming pool sits without any enclosure. The CP was nowhere to be found. I called  and called She finally comae our of the garage and said she didn't hear me. This really freaked me out!

I made a report to DFCS for unsafe conditions. They investigated and wrote them a citation for correction. While the social worker was investigationg this case the CP reported that  "every time I bring my son home his anus is red and inflamed. " A detective told me this.

That afternoon I went to P/U my son and the CP refused to release my son. I called the Sheriff's and the CP told the Sheriff's I was a pedophile and was being investigated for Child molestation. This was outside in the yard with two police cars and several Neighbors about.

The Sheriff's asked me to leave and I refused, I showed them the court order. They made calls and found out that a report had been filed. I took my son to the nearest emergency room and he was seen by a Doctor. He was diagnosed with Canditas Albacanus, a bacteria which causes diaper rash.

DFCS initiated an investigation where I was the suspect. A social worker called me and I told them this was completely unfounded and untrue.
I denied ever touching my son in appropiately and it simply didn't happen.

I informed the Social worker my son did have a very sever diaper rash which had been diagnosed by a doctor and that I had the medical records to substiantiate this along with the Doctrors name and such.

The social worker told me that that wasn't necessary that my son had been taken to the childrens sexual abuse exam team at the local hospital and an exam had been conducted. She would not disclose the result of the exam. No further contact with DFCS occured.

After five months the Sheriff's Dept. contacted me and I met with a detective from the family crimes division. It turns out I knew the Dectective. He had dated a former female roommate of mine. He disclosed what the CP reported and medical findings to me off the record.

He went on to say that the county doctors did a bacterial culture from my son's inflamation. The test results showed that the inflamation which
precipitated the report was caused by a bacteria than eminated from the gastrointestinal tract. I reported the circumstances of the CP reporting.

Another few months went by when I recieved a letter from the Sheriff's dept. saying that because I was the suspect in an child abuse case that they were putting my name in a database kept by the DOJ. Only law enforcement had access to the database.

The letter went on to say that if I felt the report stated that the allegations were unsubstaniated at this point and that I could call them to request a review to change the allegations to an unfounded classification. I called , Spoke with a Lieutenant who said he would review the case and get back to me.

To date I have had no response back from the Sheriffs dept. I left messages 4 times. I have given this over to my attorney. They have never seen anything like this before.

I saw a criminal attorney who deals with sexual issues. His response was similar. He had never seen anything like this before either. He could only offer his services via retainer, even to write a letter.

More recently CP reported to my son's doctor that she observed my three year old son inserting his finger into his anus. The doctor called DFCS and filed a report. I called DFCS immediately and asked to speak with the social worker assigned to the case.

I met with her immediately, I expressed deep concern about my son  and requested I be apprised  to what was happening in my son's case. DFCS social worker refused to disclose anything about my son.
She told me that only the CP could do so. Or to supena these records.

I disclosed to the social worker about the alienation with the CP and how a history of false allegations has seems to be evident in regard to my son's case. She said she would take it under advisement.

I later called the social worker to request a forensic evaluation for my son and to find out if any sort of therapy might be necessary for my son's well being. The social worker disclosed that this was already scheduled and that my son had a therapist assigned to him and had been seen.    

I have retained counsel. They assured me they could help me.  I gave them a partial payment of $1500  toward a $2500 retainer. I then remitted the balance and have a retainer agreement. Later I felt uncomfortable with the attorneys. They quoted me fees that may or may not occur up to $13000 or $15000 at $250 per hour.

I over heard one of the partners intervewing attorneys over the phone and placing ads in the papers because the didn't have enough staff to cover their workload. I talked with my therapist and made a call a few days later. I told them I didn't feel comfortable and I wanted to go elsewhere.

Their response was a firm but no dice  as their retainer agreement which I signed clearly stated no refunds. They saud I could walk away but they would not refund my money. Having no other recourse or lose
my $2500, I proceeded with them. They hired a young family law attorney who appears to know what is up.

The course of action recommended was to file an OSC requesting a change in visitation with an increase to overnights every other weekend  and major changes in my holiday  schedule  with overnight holidays.

We have mentioned in the OSC the incidents about the missing of The Fathers day Holidays and the chronic incidents enumerated above.
We will also ask that the court Admonish the respondent and give some remedy for this situation.

Our plan is to not mention the sexual abuse allegations unless the respondent brings it up. We however will be ready with all documentation and reports from all agencies involved. These items are under supena at the moment.

I am not requesting a change of childs support or a change in custody at this time. I am however prepaired to file contempt charges if need be.
I wanted to file contempt charges because I am very angry with the CP.

It was pointed out to me however that my son would bear a significant burden in being seperated from his mother at this age. I will do what is necessary in this regard. I will however, need some time, a few months , to build up enough funds for a full on custody action.

My questions are as follows

1. Are the actions of my attorney a good strategy?

2. Does this course of action have the potential to damage my future
    actions for changes in custody.

3. I really need more time with my son is it a good idea to persue this
    before I take other actions.

4. Would it be prudent to take civil action in regars to making false
    allegations of sexual abuse.

5. Am I missing any important factors here which I need to address.

6. Would a custody evaluation be prudent at this time.

7. What reccomendations would you make.

[socrateaser]

>My questions are as follows
>
>1. Are the actions of my attorney a good strategy?

Seems like the only strategy at the moment.

>
>2. Does this course of action have the potential to damage my
>future actions for changes in custody.

Nope.

>
>3. I really need more time with my son is it a good idea to
>persue this before I take other actions.

The more time you have with the child now, the better your chances of getting custody are. No matter how cruel the other parent is to you, the court will not punish the child by reversing custody, unless you can prove that the other parent is clearly and conviningly harming the child's best interests. What the other parent does to you is grounds for filing a false reporting charge or a civil suit for intentional infliction of emotional distress or false light attribution. But, none of that will get you custody, and if the other parent has no money, it won't get you any of that, either.

If you can prove that the CP's reports to DFCS are false beyond reasonble doubt, then you can file a claim of false reporting with the district attorney, but, you better have damn certain proof, otherwise, the DA will just refuse to prosecute, because it's a waste of public funds to prosecute a case that will ultimately turn out with a not guilty verdict.

>4. Would it be prudent to take civil action in regars to
>making false allegations of sexual abuse.

If she has a home with equity, or lots of other hard assets that would be difficult to conceal, then yes, otherwise not.

>5. Am I missing any important factors here which I need to
>address.

If the abuse issue comes up in your civil action, you can offer to submit to a polygraph. If she refuses to admit the evidence of the exam, the court will be very suspect of any other testimony that she offers against you. Obviously, this means that you are a saint, because that machine cannot be beaten by anyone other than a total sociopath, so don't offer if you can't stand before God and say that "it ain't so."

>6. Would a custody evaluation be prudent at this time.

Depends on what all those reports show. Your attorney is in a better position to evaluate the weight of the evidence in your favor. Without all the reports in your favor, I think you'll be wasting your time and money on a custody eval which you won't get anyway, unless you request a change in custody. A change in the parenting time will not likely require an evaluation -- but it could -- it's up to the judge.

>7. What reccomendations would you make.

Well, frankly, I would try to be as happy and civil around your ex as possible, even if you'd really rather slit her throat in your secret thoughts, and I would try to be as good a father/parent as possible. The objective is for your ex to lower her instinctive guard and let you have the child more often with no thought that, at some point you will ask for a LOT more time with the child, to reflect the fact that she has already voluntarily provided that time to you.

This is one of those, "catch more flies with sugar than salt," deals. The child is young, and the mother vindictive and hostile, and that works hard against you.

You may be equally vindictive and hostile -- if you are, then stop, because it will work against you in every situation. Evaluators and judges are used to picking the angry parents and if the suspect you of being anything more than a selfless and concerned parent you will lose your actions in court, because the court will err far on the side of caution.

You want the other parent to exhibit hostility, while you exhibit reasonableness and concern solely for the child's interests, whether or not those interests are your own.

Is this hard to do? Oh Yeah! But, it's the only way. Everything else guarantees that you will get beat down until you give up.

Good luck.

[Ronp]

Thank you Soc for your help. I feel relieved to have independent confirmation about what is happening in our case.

I need to add a number of items to the existing parenting plan. Our plan is a stock plan from Los Angeles County Court, CA. Many many items were not covered which has caused a lot of problems.

1. How does one seek changes to add additional items to a parenting  
    plan?

2. We have a hearing already set to modify visitation. Can we do this at
    the same time?

Thank you in advance for so  your help!

RonP  

[socrateaser]

>Thank you Soc for your help. I feel relieved to have
>independent confirmation about what is happening in our case.
>
>I need to add a number of items to the existing parenting
>plan. Our plan is a stock plan from Los Angeles County Court,
>CA. Many many items were not covered which has caused a lot of
>problems.
>
>1. How does one seek changes to add additional items to a
>parenting  
>    plan?

You should have submitted a proposed amended plan to the court with your motion. Anyway, that's what I would have done, if my goal were to modify the plan.

>
>2. We have a hearing already set to modify visitation. Can we
>do this at the same time?

See above.