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Messages - stepmom

Pages: 12
1
Second Families / RE: Just needing to vent
« on: Mar 01, 2007, 09:40:18 AM »
Yes she is very crazy!!!! We carry a recorder everywhere we go when it involves the children because you can't ever tell what she might do or say.  We are now starting to bring a video camera when we go pick up the kids, which is sad thing to have to do, but if we don't then we have no proof.  We are in the process of trying to get a mutual meeting place.  Hopefully it will all work out.

2
Second Families / Just needing to vent
« on: Feb 27, 2007, 02:34:55 PM »
After a great weekend with the kids, we were dropping them off at BM's house. BM and her boyfriend were outside.  She immediately comes over to the car and tells the kids to go in the house.  No goodbyes to us...nothing.  The kids were trying to talk to us but she kept telling them to go in the house.  My husband gets their bags and puts them in the yard beside the driveway since BM won't even let them get their bags out of the car.  Just as we were about to drive off, BM picks up the bags (suitcases) and hits the side of my car with them!!!!! Can you believe that???!!!! I was shaking I was so mad.  Then to top it off her and her boyfriend shoot us a bird!!!! My SS who is 7 was standing on the porch and witnessed all of this!!!! So of course we had to call the police and file a report.  I can't believe that she would do that....well actually I can but still.  It didn't damage the car too bad but there are several scratches.  I just cannot believe the lengths that she will go to to try and make us mad or say something.

Several days after this my oldest SD told us that she went in the house and told them that we were harrassing them and yelling at them.  Which is a lie and we can prove it because we recorded it.  She is always up to something to try to make the kids turn against us.  I think that they have learned by now that not everything they hear is true.

Anyways just needed to vent!!

3
Visitation Issues / RE: Will she ever quit??????
« on: Dec 20, 2006, 11:58:47 AM »
We would love to get our atty to do something about if but of course they want more money as does every other atty.  And this time of year we just don't have it.  She has been in contempt so many times but just like you say its hard to prove.  

My husband records all of his conversations with the children just because every once in a while she will just take the phone from them and hang it up.  We also have his son recorded saying "I had to ask mom if I could answer the phone because sometimes she doesn't let us answer it if you are calling."  My husband has a time frame in which he is allowed to call and talk to them and he always calls in his scheduled time.  And even then she sometimes doesn't let them answer the phone.  Just little things like that that keep adding up.  But how much is enough to really get it enforced???

4
Visitation Issues / RE: For me, Monster is very polite
« on: Dec 14, 2006, 02:51:09 PM »
Thank you!!!!

That's exactly how we are around the BM.  We remain calm and it drives her CRAZY!!!  There has been many times when she has said ugly things to us and we just smile and laugh.  She only does it to make us upset but it backfires on her when we don't.  

We might say negative things but never around her or the children.  That's just our way of letting it out. I'm glad I found this site now I can blow off some steam and get advice!!!  Thanks again!!!!!!

Stepmom

5
Visitation Issues / RE: Ugh
« on: Dec 14, 2006, 02:44:45 PM »
We want to go back to court but we don't have the money to do that right now.  From what we have been told it's going to take a lot of money to take the BM back to court.

My husband spoke with his lawyer today and he said that legally he can go pick up the kids on that weekend and she can't do anything about it. But he told my husband to be the bigger person and call her and tell her that legally he can pick them up but he wants them to spend Christmas with her as well.  And then he said to ask if he could come pick them up Christmas night.  But what does being the "bigger person" get him? I know the kids see it but does anyone else????  

6
Visitation Issues / RE: Will she ever quit??????
« on: Dec 14, 2006, 02:37:24 PM »
I would love for us to get another lawyer but we don't have to money to do that right now.

7
Visitation Issues / RE: Ugh
« on: Dec 14, 2006, 02:26:29 PM »
Yes I read the papers correctly.  It states NOTHING about her visiation since the children live with her.  It only states his varying visitation depending on the years.  

8
Visitation Issues / RE: Will she ever quit??????
« on: Dec 14, 2006, 08:19:10 AM »
I only refer to her as a "monster" because that's the nicest word I could think of.  I know I shouldn't do that but I am so frustrated with the whole situation.  This is nothing compared to what she has done in the past.  We try to enforce our rights quietly but we are usually told "that's too bad" or something similar.

When there is a disagreement between her and my husband she brings the children in to it and makes them upset.  Then my husband will let it go just to spare the children heartache and anger.  But when is enough enough????? She shouldn't just be able to run over him every time she doesn't agree with him.  

9
Visitation Issues / RE: Ugh
« on: Dec 14, 2006, 08:13:49 AM »
The papers say that on the even numbered years he is to have the children from Dec. 26th-Jan.1st and on odd numbered years he is to have them from Dec. 20-25.  She doesn't want us to interfere with the plans she has already made.  But she made these plans before checking the paperwork.  When she doesn't agree with what my husband says or does she throws a temper tantrum about it and gets the kids involved which makes them upset.  My husband backs down when this happens because he doesn't want the children upset or angry and then she gets whatever she wants.  My question is when is enough enough??? I don't want to see the children upset but I don't think it's right for her to keep on running over him either.

10
Visitation Issues / Will she ever quit??????
« on: Dec 13, 2006, 03:05:22 PM »
Here's the story.  My husband's ex wife is a monster!!! She tries to make our lives miserable in order to make herself look good.  She tells the children horrible things about us all the time in order to turn them against us.  After a long time of anger and hurt the children are finally starting to see through the lies she tells about us and realize that we (me especially-the stepmom) are good people who love them very much.
She always twists and turns around words in the divorce papers so that visitation is convenient for her.  In the divorce papers it says that we get the children every 2nd and 4th weekends of the month.  It also says that on even numbered years that we get the children from Dec. 26-Jan 1st for Christmas visitation.  Well it happens to be that the 4th weekend is Dec. 22,23, and 24th this month.  This should be our weekend.  We would take them home at 5:30 on the 24th and then pick them up again on the 26th at 5:30 and they would stay with us until Jan. 1st.  We have already told the children that they will stay with us again before Christmas and even told them that they can open one gift and save the rest until they come stay with us for a week to do our Christmas.
Well the monster decides that that's not good for her and calls and leaves us an ugly message saying that she is to have visitation that week and that we will NOT be getting the children that weekend.  She then says that the papers say that she has visitation that week since Christmas falls on a weekend.  The divorce papers say NOTHING about her visitation only my husband's!!  And Christmas is on MONDAY.  It does not fall on the weekend.
We have tried to talk to our lawyer about this and all that he really has to say is "that's just too bad for you" or "that's the life of a divorced father and you will just have to get used to it".  I can't believe this!!!  I didn't realize how unfair divorces really are to some outstanding fathers like my husband.  How can she change what is written in the divorce papers?  How is that right?  If there is ever a conflict on visitation she ALWAYS gets her way even when she's in the wrong.

Any suggestions on what we should do??

Pages: 12
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