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Topics - tulip

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1
Minnesota State Forum / looking for a custody evaluator
« on: Jun 21, 2006, 11:38:34 AM »
My friend's brother is going through a divorce and wants to get custody of his kids. I think they are 9, 7, and 5. The bm has been inconsistent in her time with kids. They had agreed on e/o weekend thing, but he has the kids every weekend because she wants to go out. I gave my friend some advice to help her brother out, and one of the things I told her is when they get to the evaluation, do not let the county appointed person do it. They do not do a thorough enough evaluation and are often biased. I advised her that he should hire a private evaluator, and she asked me where to find one. I followed a couple of the resource links from this page and got nothing. Does anyone have any helpful ideas? I think they are in Stearns Co. (St. Cloud area.)

2
Minnesota State Forum / cs hearing 2morrow
« on: Jan 11, 2006, 05:42:18 PM »
DH is going back 2morrow for round 3. BM said she is going to ask for another continuance because her poor foot is still in a cast, but we haven't heard anything, so I assume it's still on. She told dh on the phone that she can't stand up, so his "you can work at McDonald's" scam isn't going to work this time. What scam? He never suggested she work at McDonald's, her atty brought that up! He suggested that she get a factory where she can sit at a table and put lables on parts. (That pays better than McDonald's too.) Anyway, she says that she can't sit up for more than 15 minutes even though we watched her sit at ss's bb game last weekend for over an hour.

I don't know if she will try the mentally ill thing or not, since I think she figured out that being mentally ill might hinder her plans to get custody back. Duh! We'll see what happens. I just hope this is the end of it. I don't want to write any more court dates on my calendar.

By the way, Sunshine (if you are reading this), in response to your suggestion of calling ss admin to report her meth abuse. DH did that and was told it doesn't matter if she hurt herself by abusing drugs. She can still get SS if she is truly unable to work. Isn't that nice for all of us who are paying into that fund?!? I think he also mentioned that she has a whole new excuse for not working every six months. I don't know if will do any good or not.

3
Minnesota State Forum / Happy New Year!
« on: Dec 29, 2005, 03:12:28 PM »
Wow, I survived Christmas. This has been the most stressful holiday season of my life, and dh too. Now my kids have jumping up and down playing with new toys and eating candy all day long for the last 4 days. These nice little vacations remind me that I certainly don't have what it takes to be a home-school mom.

BM has done a complete 180 w/her attitude. One day she was calling and threatening to take dh to court and recording every phone call and saying we brainwashed her kids so they won't talk to her. The next, she called and invited us all--including my kids over for dinner so we could all talk and start to get along. It's nice that she's stopped being so mean, but what ss can't understand is that dh and I don't trust her because she is a liar and manipulator and think it's only a matter of time before she goes back to her old self. She still won't go to treatment and isn't taking ua's to prove she's sober, she hasn't done that since last summer. DH ran into one of her friends about a month ago and he said that she is still using.

The kids did go over to visit her along w/her parents and grandparents for Christmas, but sd still refuses to talk to her on the phone. They have a cs hearing coming up in Jan, and she's starting to get weird again. She said something to ss about moving because she can't afford to stay where she is living. She told him a couple weeks ago that she is going to the dr. to see what's wrong with her bones because her broken foot won't heal. I almost laughed out loud! Duh! Do ya think maybe it has something to do with the poison she's been smokin? Yeah, maybe that's why her teeth are falling out of her head too. I can't believe she worked in health care and she can't put that together. All I have to do is open the newspaper and see how those drugs destroy people's bones and teeth and brains and everything else. Anyway, now I guess she is going to say she can't pay cs because if she works she might break another bone or something.

4
Minnesota State Forum / just venting
« on: Nov 22, 2005, 07:46:27 AM »
BM called here the other night, the skids were not available, so I didn't pick it up. She left a message, sounded sweet as pie, about how much she loves them and misses them and will not stop trying to see them ever. She said she prays for them every day and that she wishes they would call her. She said the Bible that they are studying has talks about forgiveness all the way through. I gave ss the message, and he said he would try calling her back, but never did. For one day I actually started feeling really sad and worried about the whole thing. I lost sleep over it. I don't know if the kids will ever be able to understand what happened, and even if she is starting to change, it doesn't look like they will be able to forgive her.

Then last night when I mentioned to dh that she didn't call at all for the kids (never stop trying huh?) he said that she called him yesterday. She asked him "What do I have to do to get the kids to talk to me?" He told her "maybe you should try acting like a normal person and go to treatment like they've asked you to so many times." She got really mad and said she didn't need treatment. (Yes she does.) She asked him if he got the message about court being cancelled. He said yeah, he doesn't care. Then he said "I don't understand what you're doing. You go into one court and tell them that you're mentally ill and insane so you can't work, and then you say you're going to go into the other court and get the kids back." She got really mad and said "what are you talking about? I never said I was mentally ill or insane?" DH said then his phone cut out and she never called back. I think she just figured out that she can't have it both ways. I wonder what she will decide is more important. Keeping up her lie to get out of working and paying support or being able to see her kids like a normal parent?

5
Minnesota State Forum / update
« on: Nov 18, 2005, 09:18:20 PM »
I am really getting frustrated w/this forum. I have tried to post like 5 times in the last week or two, and keep getting thrown out. I finally got a new pw, and ok.. let's see if it works this time.

Last week we got an affidavit from csw showing that bm sent the county a doctor's opinion that she "cannot perform any work any time in the foreseeable future" due to her mental illness. She did that in August to get welfare. However, her SS app that she sent in last summer was claiming that she could not work due to her seizures and said that she is not mentally ill. Both statements say that she is not chemically dependent, a lie that has been documented in family court already, but of course, cs court and family court are separate.

Today we were notified she was granted a continuance until January because oh let's see... her letter said she broke her foot and had to have surgery, broke it again, may need more surgery, went to AK, has been assaulted 4 times, is appealing the SS denial, and cannot sit up for more than 15 minutes. IMHO she broke her foot on purpose to get out of paying CS. She will say and do anything to avoid supporting her kids. My mom tells me that this is a huge victory for dh because he may not get any cs from her, but she just handed him the proof that she should not be allowed unsupervised visitation with the kids.

The last time she called she left a message that she is going to show up at our church on Sunday "on my crutches and my pills" and stand up in front of the whole congregation and tell them exactly what kind of person dh is and that he is training his children not to obey the ten commandments that state honor your father and mother. She needs to keep reading her Bible, because there's a lot more to it than that...

Like that's really going to make the kids respect her more and want to talk to her.

6
Minnesota State Forum / Hey Sunshine!
« on: Nov 06, 2005, 09:13:19 PM »
Long time no...eh...post?
I haven't been here in a long time. The website has a whole new look! Well, here's what's going on with us:

BM went to live w/her parents in AK for a while. We had about a month of peace. She had left some really ruthless messages on our vm, then stopped calling for a month. A couple weeks ago, she calls and is back in town. SS talked to her on the phone. She refused to tell him where she is living. She is still not taking the random UAs. She said she's going to some counseling groups at a church, but refused to tell him where. SD was not home. The next time he talked to her, SD did not want to talk to her. She started threatening DH and said if he did not make SD come to the phone, she was going to do something drastic, and it would not be in the children's best interest or their best interest, but it would be very bad, and he would know what it is in the next few min. He called the cops, an officer came over and walked in the door right when she had called back and was on speakerphone saying something very tragic was going to happen to DH. The cop interuppted the conversation and mediated for a while between them. Told her that if she doesn't what she says he will arrest her for making terroristic threats. Then he told her that he has spoken to her many times and is very aware of their case. He said that SD is old enough to decide if she wants to talk to her or not.

SD is fed up w/her lies and abuse. SS still keeps hoping she's going to get it together, but he doesn't want to hear any more bs. They both have gotten to the point that they need to see some proof that she is clean or they will not believe it. She is court ordered to do random UAs and hasn't done one since last May.
The next door neighbors are still harassing us, but they are fed up w/her too.
I really wish she would get it together. The kids are doing great. Getting good grades, very active in the community. They are happy. But it makes me sad that their mom is so screwed up. They have some tough years ahead, and I can't imagine growing up without having my mom, or having her treat me so horibbly.

My daughter has been seeing more and more of her BF. That's good for her, it makes her happy, but I keep waiting for the day he disappears on her again and she will be so hurt. He's done it so many times.

As for the CS, BM of SD and SS hasn't paid a dime. They have another hearing scheduled this month. She is supposed to have proof of exactly what work she can do according to her medical condition, or proof of her job search efforts if she isn't working full time. I don't know what kind of stunt she is planning on pulling for that. Haven't heard anything about any seizures for a long time. She didn't say anything to SS about having a job. She hasn't gotten her license back after the seizure episode, and they made it clear to her last time that not being able to drive is not a reason not to work. Her car got repo'ed right before she went to AK. Maybe they will finally slap her with all the back pay from the games she's been playing all this time to get out of it. She still owes DH from when he overpaid his CS right when the custody changed.

7
Minnesota State Forum / Is this legal?????????
« on: Dec 13, 2004, 08:16:05 PM »
DH was served at 4:30 this afternoon with a notice to appear in court at 9:00 tomorrow morning.

BM filed a petition for harassment restraining order. She has made all kinds of ridiculous claims, dating back to 12/03. What a coincidence, that is when the court proceedings started to change custody. She did not reference their family court file at all, probably because then they would see that she is meth addict and these allegations are paranoid dillusions.

DH doesn't want any contact with her, but can he ask for the same protection that she wants? Keep her away from us!! The last time he spoke to her (she called here) he told her that she could not have any contact with the kids until she proved she is sober. Now I think her intention is to get in front of a different judge and keep him from having access to her medical records. She claims he has been calling her doctors, we don't even know who her doctor is! She is abusing prescription medications now, and doesn't want to have to justify it.

8
Minnesota State Forum / We need a new atty
« on: Nov 14, 2004, 08:00:10 PM »
We're in Anoka Cty. The atty we used before came highly recommended. But everything he said the judge would do, she did the opposite. He told us the last time he was in court with us, he didn't have any experience dealing with meth addicts. I think that's why he was so surprised dh actually got custody. We have been told by the drug task force (and seen on the news) that Anoka Cty's judges are just really fed up with meth addicted mothers.

Some really bad stuff is going on here. Today dh and I were talking about how he can legally deny her contact with the kids until she gets clean. He is worried about the legal side, but also about telling the kids. But then when he was putting ss to bed tonight, he told dh he has to take her back to court. He can see she is really messed up, and he doesn't want to talk to her for a long time. The really sad part is that he thinks if dh takes her back to court, the judge can order her to go to treatment.


9
Minnesota State Forum / cs case still not over.
« on: Oct 24, 2004, 06:10:49 PM »
The very last day that the case was to be closed, bm submitted a letter from some neurologist that says she is not to drive for 6 months per MN law, and is disabled. Didn't give any details of her disability. At least 5 words were spelled wrong, and it was not signed. She also submitted a leave of absence form from her employer that wasn't signed by anyone but her.

So the cs magistrate ordered cs to be reserved until review hearing is held in 6 months. At that time she is to show very specific proof of what her physical limitations are, her diagnosis, and estimated length of time of her limitations. If not, and she is not employed full time, she is to show very specific proof of her employment search activities. She could be ordered to pay retro support, or it seems, none at all.

Her driver's license is still valid. I thought by law, her physician would be obligated to turn her in to state, but apparently they haven't.

10
Minnesota State Forum / CS hearing over.
« on: Oct 02, 2004, 06:58:46 PM »
BM claimed that she can't work because of a very serious, yet undiagnosed, medical condition. (She claims she is having grand mall seizures.) She had no evidence of ever having had a seizure. She contradicted herself numerous times on the stand. Her own atty was very upset. She also said she couldn't work full time until she finishes school, but she isn't going to enroll in any classes until January. She can't get ft hours at her current employer, but has no intention of ever looking for a different employer. She left her car at home the day of court to support her claim that she is having seizures. She said in court she hasn't driven her car at all, but we know for sure she is driving all over the place. What an idiot!

Every statement she made in that courtroom is going to be held against her should she ever take dh back to court for increased visitation or custody.

So the magistrate gave her 3 weeks to produce more evidence or she will sign the request made by the cs office. I am so relieved to almost have this crap over.

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