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#1
My ex decided she didn't want to pay for CS so with the help of her father filed a moton to change the parenting plan for decision making on medical issues thus soon after that file another motion for residential parent status and so forth. This will continue until they win not matter how may times they lose...

Now, she pays me CS based on only the W-2 forms for one year that we had out trial. I had to have 3 years tax returns to show my proof of income. Question is my attorney never saw my ex's w-2 forms or even bothered to request tax returns thus he took my ex's attorney's figures to calculate CS.

This past July my ex decides she needs money and files for SSI for our child who has disabilities. In the course of this interview the SSI rep needs income either pay stubs or tax forms. My ex hands the SSI rep her pay check stubs. The amounts are far greater than what was "claimed" on the w-2 forms for court. In fact there is an $8,000 difference. Her job does not give out bonuses, or promotions that result in a one year $8,000 increase in salary. In fact evenif she went part time, it still would not be that significant.

I decided to have this information brought in court during our hearing on my ex's motions. I filed for an increase based on mis-representation of income figures which I now feel could have been altered.

I am also asking my attorney to get an order for her tax returns and w-2 forms from her work and have them sent directly to my attorney (new attorney, fired old) since this did not happen last time. I am cocerned that they will make me look greedy just because I am self employed. My thought is the fact that if men can lie, cheat to get out support, why can't women as well??? Why should there be any difference regardless of income or gender.

Has anyone ever been in somthing similar where income statements did not clash or were significantly higher to the point that it was very questionable?
#2
The judge made the final deceison monday at trial to a share-parenting plan for me and my ex. I file for CS back in October and the judge ruled that it would be granted based on my filing of an exhibit C. I am confused as to what that means but when I contacted CSE they said it pretained to medical. It meant or so I am told that all my ex has to pay is my son's medical insurance. Now I am the residential parent who pays day care, therapy and everything else. I have my son on state medical assitance to pay for additional therapy because mom's insurance does not cover much.

I think my attorney screwed up because my ex's CS order is for $40.00 whichis the share she pays for medical from her employer for my son. Now, I am sefl-employed and submitted my tax returns to the courts, she submitted her w-2 and I found out that she is $5,000 less of a salary than when she started 3 years ago. She purposely has been using te system to get out of her obligation. What is really upsetting is that she just got a new car, and all her bills have been paid and are being paid by her father. I know family can do what they want but what about her getting checks from her father and depositing them and then having her attorney in court ask for a reduction in awarding CS due to her fiances? I can almost be sured that her father has gifted her over $10,000 for legal and living fees as well as the car. That will explain why she does not work as much anymore.

I have 30 days to file an appeal and my attorney sucks. He missed so much and when I brought it up, he said it will not matter. When I discussed this with CSE agency they told me that the court can determine her potential earning just by her degree from college as opposed to her current salary. Oh yea, she is a social worker that has used the system. So what can I do, or is all hope loss. And to make matters worse my flippin attorney gave her the tax deduction without telling me just to get CS...$40.00 a month compared to $700.00 a month and she gets a big deduction??? Who got shafted here???
#3
Child Support Issues / child support calculation
Feb 04, 2005, 01:14:13 PM
I live in Ohio as well as my ex. We are going to trial Monday and CS will also be heard as well. I filed for CS on our son that I have temp custody of but throught the process of a GAL they are recommending shared parenting with me being the residential/custodial parent.

My question is my ex has a daughter from a previous relationship that she receives no support nor does anyone really know who the father is. The child is 13 and is on assitance for private schooling. My ex pays for the insurance for herself and both children and I get additional medical assitance for my son due to his expensive therapy that the mothers insurance will not cover. Now in Ohio they take into consideration other children so how does this effect CS if any awarded for my son? Her income is much higher but we both do not make a ton of money. Does anyone know how this is calculated with other children and any variables?
#4
Soc,

I been here before and have been helped by your answers in my on going custody drama. Well, here is the newest and a few questions to follow.

A year of GAL, hearings and investigations over my ex filing a motion for medical decisions has come down to the GAL finding in my favor as well as other issues that presented themselves. After 5 hearings and one trial, my ex and I reached an agreement both through mediation and in front of the Judge the day of the trial. Next step, was for my attorney to provide the admended parenting plan for our review for us to both sign it and have it recorded.

My attorney submits the admended plan to OC and we get no reply. 30 days later a second notice goes out, still no reply. Finally I ask attorney to submit a letter to the judge in regards to  OC refusing to sign an agreed admendment asking a judge to order it and record it without my ex's signature. Attorney informs me thatafter talking OC attorney this week my ex has stated she never agreed to anything through all this proceedings,  even in court. Funny, it was recorded on tape that day we were all at trial as an agreement. OC has hinted they are no longer going to represent ex due to the circumstances and difficulties.

I sign the admended plan today as advised by my attorney and he has informed OC of our intentions to submit it to the court by the end of the week for order regardless of ex's signature.
I am told it should go through if my ex does not filed an objection to it.

Questions:

1. If my ex files an objection, will a judge or court grant a whole new trial based on the known fact she and I agreed in front of the judge, or could they throw it out given all the evidence from the year long proceeding and her refusal to cooperate after the fact?
(She will find another attorney to represent her..money is no object to her)

2. Given we spent a whole year in court on a motion she filed, can I now possible file for sanctions such as legals fees to be reimbursed for the time wasted given the facts at hand of refusing to sign an agreement that was settled at trial?

3. Lastly, what can really happen in a worse case scenario?

Thanks agian!
#5
Soc,

Had final trial today and won from the ex's motions she filed agasint me.
One area that I feel is still grey is school. Although I thought I was the residential parent being that it was never stated in our parenting plan (we have shared-parenting but not a true 50/50 visitation) There is a clause in regards to school that states:

"Father is designated resdiential parent for school purposes"

1. By this decree what are my rights in regards to schooling?

2. Does my ex have the right to fill out school papers being that she is NOT the residential parent for school purpsoes?

To clairfy that last question: My ex filled out a form for reduce lunches at school today for our son. at school. The information she provided was regarding herself as well as indicating that our child resided with her by listing her address. This has been a slight ongoing problem with the school as they cannot figure out who has what just by the parenting plan.

3. What are my ex's rights in regards to this decree and given that we have shared-parenting, what can she do and not do?

4. What if anything can I or my attorney do to convey to her in a nice way what is right or wrong...(my ex gets upset quite a bit)

Thanks


#6
Dear Socrateaser / Mediation and questions
Aug 05, 2006, 04:48:37 AM
Hi Soc!

I will try to make this brief but apoligize if it gets too long...

Mediation was yesterday over a medical decision making motion that my ex filed. GAL ruled in my favor to have the decision since it was not listed on the parenting plan. My ex is fighting this as well as other issues. Also, "residential parent" is not listed on the parenting plan that is shared parenting but copy of plan I have has it but copy in court records does not. There is an additional court records filed that gives me "residential parent for school purposes" Our child lives with me but gets visitations with his mother. I ask at mediation for the clause of residential parent to be added back in and my ex said she whould does this only it she got more time with our child.

1. How much weight is given to the GAL decision in regards to the motion filed for medical decison making rights if and it looks like my ex wants a trial to fight this?

2.Will a judge allow the "residential parent " clause added to the current parenting plan, given the confusion from the orignal being ambiguious?

3. My attorney and I discussed asking to vacate in the shared-parenting plan due to the many ambiguties and would like to submit a new plan that is more detailed.

Thanks
#7
Soc,

Through our court motion with the ex and I, my attorney reqested my ex's tax returns in regards to child support and a motions to give me back the tax exemption for our child that my first attorney gave without my consent.

I reveiwed them today and found a problem. Ex by our 2004 court order can claim our child as a dependant beginning 2005 and until the child is 18. Now, we both have the same accountant. For 2005 my ex claim our son but also claimed the Earned Income Credit as well Head of Houshold and listed that our son lived with her. I am the residential parent per our court order and my ex gets visitations with EOW only plus 8 weeks in the summer on/off between us.

I called the accontant for clariafication. She knew this and explained to my ex that she could claim our son as a dependant but she could not get the EIC because our son lives with me. Ex yelled and got confrontational. Accountant knew she was lying but to diffuse the situation in her office made ex sign a document stating that she is admitting of our son living with her was true. Got those sent to me.

Questions:

1. What can happen and what can I do along with my attorney in
regards to this false statement and EIC claim to the IRS. (Accountant told me that an audit will take place more than likey now when I file for 2005 taxes)

 Ex claims son lives with her because of shared-parenting plan and her attorney said to go and file it.

2. How is it determined where the child truly lives if ex does not want to follow parenting plan?

I know he lives with me,  but if we go by the exact days to our court order does that determine where the child truly resides?

Our case of residency - simple math - a typical month with 31 days. Son lives with me 25 days/nights - mother 6 days/nights.

If we go by visitation - son lives with me 25 days/nights - mother 6 days/nights but gets 4 hours visitations of 7 days as well but no nights for a total of 13 days but only 6 nights.

3. Can visitations count as a true day with living with the non-resident parent.  I think my ex is using her visitations days as saying my son lives with her those days.

4. What if anything will a judge do or look at this?

Thanks
#8
Soc..

Ex filed motion to change parenting plan to give her medical decision making rights and to re-instate a Social Worker that I fired due to unprofessional conduct regarading the well being of our child.

My attorney countered filed with the same motion of keeping the decision rights with me as residential parent and an increase in child support due to change in circumstances to my ex's income.

Pre-trial Judge orders a new GAL to make decison and investigate.

My attorney sent me a Interrogatories and Request for Production of Documents that has to be answered in 30 days from my ex's attorney.

The request asks for all my incomes records from 5 years to present. Any other sources or income plus and banks I have dealt with. The requests ask for all witnesses and documentation including tape records prior to trial. (we have not even got anywhere near there) No where does it ask about our son or anything realated to him just income and documents.

1. What exactly does this mean and how does it relate to my ex's motion or my motioned filed.

2. Do I have to answer these inquires to an extent as some of this as some of the questions I feel, have no importance on our case.

3. Is this just an attorney trick regarding child support since she pays me and claims she has no money but yet gets money from her father all the time?

4. What are my options to defeat this or counter this request.

Thanks

#9
It has been only 10 months since our custody trial and my son's mother filed a motion to change the shared-parenting plan to make her have power to make all non-emergency decisions rather than me, the father, who is residential parent.

She has filed this motion based on a Social Worker I had removed from our son due to unprofessional conduct towards me. It was witnessed by my son's teacher.

Our son has developmental problems which I have been instrumental in getting him the therapy he needs. The mother on the other hand has had very little invovlement due to control issues.

I entrusted the services of this Social Worker before our custody trial when I had full custody. After the order of shared-parenting the SW took things personal because I did not agree with her recommendations or me and the mother had disagreements which could not be worked out through mediation. She has taken the mother's side to fight.

What if anything can I show to prove that I have been doing in the best interest of my child?

Being that the mother is also a SW and using her professional job to prove her point as being a more fit parent, can I use the orignal Psych Eval as evidence? (The Pscyh eval was in my favor due to the mother's inability to want the rights or responsibilities).

The mediator in our case was also the GAL, he has since declined to be involved based on our inability to settle issues. (only 2 times) My attorney feels he would be an asset due to the fact that he understands how I have tried by initiating these mediations to solve problems.

Any insight?

#10
Dear Socrateaser / Soc...update on SSI
Aug 12, 2005, 01:37:49 PM
Went to SSI today and got the lowdown.

Rep said since I am custodial parent I am entitled as payee for my son, but because of shared-parenting and eventhough it is plain enough that my son is with me well more than 50% of the time they still could not guarantee me as payee because of the need to chek policy. Apparently, my ex and I are the first to present such a case of shared parenting but not a true 50/50 custody. And as I guessed it, it is tied to the shared-parentin plan and what it contains as being contradictory.

But the end result now is that he is ineligilble due to me having assets above their guidlines so it has become no big deal to me. The question at hand is this.

Since my assests are above the guidlines than can my ex receive SSI for my son? I was told no because they figure in both our incomes due to having shared-parenting order by the court.

Can she filed for residential parent status just so she can receive the benefits? I was also told that it would not matter one way or the other because again all our income and holdings as considered under a shared-parenting order.

Now, she reported in court on her w-2 that she made 20,000 a year for CS purposes. Today she handed a check stub to the SSI rep and they wrote down she makes $2,400 monthly. Well above her salary she reported in Mar of this year. Being that I have a copy of the income for SSI  application with the information written down and signed, can this be used to modify an increase in CS based on that document. I am sure they will need more but this was news to me today.  I was told 20% or less will not matter in income but she went from $20,000 a year last year to so far by her cehck stubs to within $28,000 plus? Seems there may have been somthing fishy there.

And lastly, I wish to file a modification to our parenting plan to specifically claify "residential parent" since the problems of clairification. I also want a "telephone clause" for my son so that I can call him and talk to him as well as his mother but...she refuse to get a phone except for her cell phone. Now, she just bought an expensive home but will not get a land line. Can I argue in court that a cell phone is not considered proper with a 4 year old or somthing to that fact? My reason is that her daughter is 13 and just today even,  I get a call from the school she attends after 2 years of being out of my house thinking that her daughter and she still live here. This is not the first time they tried to reach her daughter. Mind you i save the recordings because thye say this is the number they were given to reach her daughter.  I just feel that if her daughter watches my son and mom goes out somewhere, there is no phone to call in case of an emergency. Is this a valid point?

Again thanks
#11
I was wondering if anyone can give me advice or direction as to what is correct regarding shared-parenting that me and my ex have for our son.

Our case was settled in Mar 05. In the shared-parenting plan ordered it states that "father to be residential parent" "mother to have visitation from ....day to ect..." In that phrase a line was sort of crossing over father is to be but above the residential parent. It appears to look like my ex's attorney was doing somthin intentional but if questioned it could be looked at as a mistake. Now, I questioned the mark to my attorney who went back and go another motion or admendment to the parentin plan that states "father is residential parent for school purposes." This brings about quiestions as my son who has disabilities is entitled to SSI benefits. My ex refuse to talk to me via her parenting plan ordered or have anything to do with discussing our child. Needless to say she wen to the SSI office and file for benefits foru out son so that she could get the funds. The SSI office informed me that we both have to come to discuss who will receive the benefits. In my questioning as to why they need to know, they commented that my ex only said we have shared-parenting and did not present any court papers. SSI told me that they need to determine who is residential parent to give the funds to but thye gave me the impression that I was the one who was untruthful.

My concern is the two orders from court in regards to me being the residential parent. I am in Ohio and I was curuious is residential and custodial parent have the same or mean the same but residential is the term used. Also my son lives with me 9 months out of the year until summer break when he goes one week on/off with each of us. our shared parenting is not a true 50/50 custody since my ex gets Wed, EOW, and EO Mon for visitation.  

The orignal order says I am residential parent but the newer one say for school purposes. What can happen with this set-up and how can it effect custody? Does being the residential parent for school purposes also qualify as well as just being a residential parent? I guess I see a play on words here that may or may not come into play with SSI. My ex pays CS, insurance but will not help with what insurance does not cover. I think she feels entitled to take the SSI benefits for herself to an extent because of the deal she made in court with me. I just want peace and quiet. My son goes to many therapy's which she became invovled with over the summer because she had no chioce but will stop once shcool starts. I was told by SSI that the residential parent receives the benefit for the child. Is it possible that my attorney screwed up? Or... deos by being a residential parent for school purposes still raise the question on who really is the residential parent? Sorry to go over and over, but I seriously beleive the attorneys screwed up or more so screwed me.
#12
My ex's father is very well off. He has been inovled in all aspects of our custody trial through money and control when I personally ask him to stay out of his daughter and mines business. I never threatened him or did anything but be a gentleman. Afterall this is my son's grandfather. But, he has become such a control freak and with his money, I see nothing but problems ahead.

He bought his daughter a car, home and pays her child support to me. He supports her as well even though she has a good job. His involvement with our child is in a controlled environment of the mother's house because the mother cannot control our child at all in any socila situation. Our child has developmental disorders that are not extreme but requires constant routine and discipline for my son's benefit. The mother understands this but chooses to do whatever she wants for the fact that she is receiveing money to "look" good when the situation calls for it.

10 months go by after our custody trial and now my ex has filed a motion on her's fathers behalf and of course his money to change our shared-parenting plan to make her have all decisions making power based on not having control rather than me the residential parent. There are Social Workers invovled, including the mother herself that were fired by me for unprofessional conduct regarding my son. I do have proof, so that I am not to worried about. She has not been actively involved in her son's progress or therapy's at all except 4 weeks in the summerwhen our visitation schedule changed. She had no chocie to take him to his therapy's. Even then she tried to get that changed because it was not convienien for her.


The main problem is her "daddy" He control his daughers actions and doins by using money as a means. If there was no money involved I would of had full custondy of my child with no court involved. She was more than willing to give our son to me but her "daddy" offered to pay her to get custody. He has sice isolated his daughter and his son to the point of "hiding" the behavior problems I and the whole family are aware of regarding my son has with the mother. My son's uncle, ex's brother has related on many occassions how my son acts with his mother and how she will not correct him or do anythng to control him. He even went to his father to express his concern but got shut out. Now, this may not seem bad for most parents as it does happen, but given my son's condition and his future, this type of behavior could be detremental to him and those around him. The grandfather is embarrassed so he hides the fact that if I do not know this "beahvior" is occuring with the mother then nothing will be done and he can "buy" his daughter's motherlyness and present her in a higher light than the truth. The grandfather has gone as far as to leave my ex's brother's wife out of the picture for everything. He at this present time  is working on getting them divorced because the aunt was instrumental for my son by protecting him with all that was going on. My son's aunt and grandmother and uncle came forward to testify if needed to protect my child but now, the grandfather has "bought" his son and scared him with future monies. So, you can imagine what story he would tell now. But the aunt cannot say anything because she has been banned from the family but still is married. I know screwed up beyond belief.

Bottom line, I know this is a mental issue regarding my child and I have no idea as to what it could be called. I do not think PAS is the right term since he is only 4 1/2 but these actions by the grandfather and the mother and now the brother who is being bribed to keep quiet will endanger my son's future. I don't exactly expect the brother to do the right thing but i would expect at least the granfather to be a man and realize the serverity of his actions on his grnadson and what could happen.

What if anyting could I do to possible help my son. The Attorney understands but it sems he who has the money gets what he wants no matter what. I need help in being the smart one without the money!
#13
Custody Issues / GAL, Daycare, & EX...
Jul 01, 2006, 06:39:38 AM
This will be long here but I hope those taht read it understand.

My ex filed a motion last fall for medical decision making rights over me the custodial parent. I requested a GAL through my attorney and the judge orderd a new GAL rather than the orignal one familiar with our case due to his ability to get nothing solved. (go figure) Since these past 7 months my ex and I and awaiting an orderd mediation and a 3rd pre-trial due to the fact that the GAL reccomended that my ex not be given any decision making rights. I quote his line as "it would be a recipe for disator"

In the pre-trial my ex was furious with the GAL findings and report. 16 pages long. This GAL even looked into our sons' condition which he is a special needs child at this time in his life and require much help and services. My ex whi is a social worker has felt very different towards my decisions for our son but she never has communicated to me or with me to express her thoughts. The only time I know anything is when her rich father gives her the money to take me court.

Now to add to this mess our court orders state that in the summers months we are to go a one-week on/one week off visitation until school starts. Our order was shared parenting but we do not have a "true" shared cusotdy. It is just words. In reality I have physical custody but a shared legal to an extend outlined in our parenting plan. During this period our son exhibits behavior problems which can be see as normal on most children but not special needs. The adjustment going back and forth usually take 3 to 4 days for him to settle down and by then it is back over again. To add to this, my ex does not communicate with me on any level unless she is looking to get "something". I have been told by school and therapist involved with my son that there is no consistancy in the homes and there needs to be for our son to mature. My ex's refuses or seems to refuse to do anything positive to rectify this.

Our son was caught at day care with a lighter a few weeks ago and has been showing behavior signs of sexual conotations. By that I me he has gone up to strangers all women and grabbed their breast or squeeze them. Now mind you this is a 5 year old!!! My son has also been touching himself on his chest in the same area as a women and doing things an adult would do in a certain situation. No mind you, I do disipline him and correct him but this behavior has scared me beyond belife!! The ways he does it, and not all the time, proves to me that he is "seeing" it somewhere. My boy is very smart and picks things up fast.
I beleive my ex may be doing things innappropriate around him with other men that my son is doing. Unfortuneately, I cannot get solid proof.

And to add to this even further, my ex has been painting his toenails on occasion and sending him home to me or school a few times. I have not appraoch her on these subjects as I wish to discuss this in front of the mediator. These are just a small amount of things that have been going on at my ex's house or when she has our son. My ex can be very angry and shouting when she does not get her way or when she is confronted. She has on occassion used her postion as a social worker to gain levearge in any situation. Misue of power as I see it.

So yesterday the day-care calls and informs me my ex filed a complaint against her for "favortism over another parent" due to her interview with the GAL and what she stated and the lighter incident in whcih the day care gave it to me. I personally asked for the lighter when I was told. My ex was told the same day our son brought it from her house but never asked for it back nor seemed concern by the day care's account. It was only when a week later that my ex asked for it and was told I have it. It seems my ex felt the day care should have given her the lighter ut the day care said seh never seemed interested until a week later as in if it was something important. My ex does not smoke but she has been dating men and one in particular is an ex who smokes but not ciggarettes. But agin, I can't prove this but only by a co-worker of this guy who witness hims doing drugs. A lot of hear-say thought.

The day care was only doing her job to reprot what happened. My ex never talks to this lady nor even asked how her son is doing day in and day out. I pay the day-care, I fill out the forms and I the majority of the parenting and I am the residential parent. I specifically told the day care that any incident be it when I bring our son or my ex that I want to know regardless and the mother can be told as well. It seems my ex is furious one with the GAL, two the day care for telling me and giving me the lighter and three, I have the lighter that obviously is someone who wants it back bad enough to file a complaint rather than be concerned about her child having it in the first place.

Now, my questions is this. The day care did talk to the supervisor of job and family services that overseas the day care. They assured her that nothing much could be doen because the complaint has no warrant. i feel in fact it may come back to hurt her in court due to the lighter. I feel my ex may be trying to sabotage things so that I cannot take our son there only to be "put-out" and have no means for day care. I also feel see is trying to discredit the GAL for bias opinion based on the chain of events to fight her motion in court.

How hard is it to go against a GAL in a case when 4 professional and a day-care were interviewed and 100% of them had agreed on his findings and question regarding my ex and I? The professionals were teachers, doctors and theapists. No family memebers were interview.
Also, my attorney says it is very, very difficult to go against the GAL recommendations. Does my ex seem to have a change or is she just spinning her wheels to get attention?

I say this beause a memebr of her family is saying that her rich daddy is getting tired of the money spending and is looking at another court case with her other child (not mine). He is trying to locate the father after 14 years and my ex will not give him the true name because she does not want the money to stop.
#14
Custody Issues / A New Year and Already!!!!
Jan 01, 2006, 02:30:17 PM
I was just informed today by my son's grandmother (ex's mother) that I should look into getting my child drug tested due to another family member comming forward with information regarding this past Holiday Season.

It was on Christmas day that this "fa,ily" member observed my son being very unnormal to the point of being a "zombie" It was heard through thin walls at this place that my son was given cough syrup with Codine in it. Once this was being said the conversation quickly stopped as it not to continue to others listening in.

Further, my son's mother who is alleged to have given him this medicine, did not inform me nor did she go to his doctor as I found out. My son was coughing but I have prescription medicine for him that I would have been happy to give tho his mother had she asked.

It is also stated in our parenting plan that I am the one to make non-emergecny medical decisions. It is was an emergency the parent who has custody at the time is to inform the other parent. I did not see that my son's cough was an emermgency.

Now, given her father is a doctor but not a peditrician, he has on occassions written prescritptions for his daughter illegally. They were not for drugs but cosmetic medicines. It is possible for him to write a script for my son in his mother's name and then thus hiding the fact.

I want to get my son tested but, blood testing will not show anything since the Codine if present would be gone by now, but in the hair folicale it wouls show traces.

Even if he was sick, I should have been informed, but it was the grandmother and the other family memeber that were very concerned with his behavior and felt that the cough syrup was used more to control the child than to actually help his cough.

Is this considered anything significant since there could be a lot of holes in this? We go to court next monday for medical decision making rights and my ex and her fahter want control to medicate my child for his behavior. I would like some suggestions as to what I can do as I am crushed to think he would be on a powerful drug...
#15
Custody Issues / Anyone go through this??
Dec 11, 2005, 01:51:11 PM
My ex and I have a shared parenting through the courts that is about 10 months old. I am the residential parent with non-emergency medical decision making rights. Our son doe snot live with his mother but with me and has visitation with the mother through the regualr schedule by the courts.

Our son has delayed developmental problems that were discovered in the beginning of our custody trial. During the custody battle, I was instrumental in getting  him diagnosed and into therapies to help him progress. At about the same time, I one the advice of his school teacher has a local agency that helps with outside services the school may not be able to provide for our son. This SW became involved with my son through-out the trial. She made recommendationas to me, but I felt pressued and scared and did not take her advice (good thing too!)

The mother had little involvement with this SW due to conflicts of 2 women and one man. (Not being funny either) My son's mother is also a SW who used to work for this particular agency as well.

After our trial and the SW found out we had a shared-parenting plan, she began to become more agressive and personal in regards to my son and the mother. The matter came to a head when the mother requested our son she a certain doctor which I did not approve before hand now did the mother ever discuss this with me. Once I told the SW that I had the right to make the medical decision the SW blew up at me and began to critize me. All in front of my son's teacher who sort of heard some things, then later had teh SW in her face making remarks.
Since that incident, my attorney and I had her removed from offering services for my son. But the agency closed my son file out of fear of a law suit and never contacted us to discuss the issues.

Now comes my ex who files a motion to change the medical decison making to be her exclusive rights based on the SW information and the agency information saying that my sone is in dire need of developmental pedicatrician. My ex's is using her job as a platform to "bragg" up and this agency to fight her postion.

My attorney feels this is wrong based on the fact that the case is centered around the "mother" with nothing showing so far that she was involved with our son making decisions. My attorney also feels we can use the orignal Pscy Eval against her based on the facts of that eval which is in my favor.

I am just still ocncerend because all I have ever doen was provide every medical means to my son to help with his delays. He has progessed tremdously both physically and mentally. The bottom line is her drive being fueld by her father's money and control that they do nto have. My son will be taken away and sent to a possible institiution just becasue they have the money to do it. My son is now where near that delayed to have that happen. In fact he is very intelligent and loving. His mother cannont control his behavior becasue she does not want to deal with it in public but uses it as a measn to say her son is in need of more professional help. The SW as well feels this way. They are teh only two besides her fahter that see this child in a different light.

Bottom line is that it comes down to my ex's problem with control. Her fahter is a control freak as well as she is and they will not stop until I am bankrupt or give in becasue of no fight left. My nerves are shot and I fear they will use every little thing. The judges in my area could care less. The gal who was the mediator as well in our case refuse to see us anymore because my ex and I cannot resolve our issues in his office. She twice got up and left complainning she had to go to work. SHe refuse to communicate regardless. And to top things off, my son's teacher is on administrative leave for abuse allegation agaisnt my son. I have tried to talk to my son's mother over this matter and she has not interest other than going to court. I feel she does not ever care that the
teacher did somthing. As my attorney puts it, he beleives it is all about "her" and nothing regarding our son.

Sorry for so long, but this is just ridiculous!
#16
Custody Issues / Social Worker Invovlement??
Apr 28, 2005, 07:09:31 PM
Been awhile since I posted but I have a question regarding my ex, social worker, and I with our son. This may be long so bear with me. I contacted a social worker for my son through is school due to his developmental problems. It was for assitance in services and anything else for his well being. At the time I opened a case, I had temp custody and the mother had visitations. Because my son has an autistic spectrum disorder the SW right away wanted to have a psychological evaulation done to see about suggesting medication. I opposed this and refused any invovlement due to the previous doctor's recommendation that he felt medication was not necessary. All was quiet and after a hellasih cusotdy battle, the GAL and those invovled gave us shared-parenting with me being the residential/custodial parent. This evening the SW came over to give me papers to sign. One of the papers was a request was by my ex to have my son psychologically evaulated. The SW told me the mother now has the right to do this since we have "joint-cusotdy" but she needs to check with her supervisor just to be sure since I was the one who origanlly opened the file.

First and foremost our parenting plan states "The parent who has physical custody of the child shall be responsible for making non-emergency medical decisions regarding the child" Does this mean she has the right to request this evaluation when she has my son? Her visitations are only one day a week, EOW, and every other Monday. Or, since I have primary custody and physical custody is it my right to make the deceison?

I am only challenging this because my ex has the intentions of medicated my son, not for good purposes but becasue she cannot handle him when he is with her at times. The SW involved beleives a second opinion is fine and would not hurt. This is the same person that requested it in the beginning and I refused after finding out about medicating.  My belief is that if I protest, even siting witnessess and documentation of his therapy and development without medication that she will use it all agaisnt me as neglect of the child. She has been hell bent since she walkd out with out her son since and losing her fight for custody.

Truly I have been told all around that if my son can fucntion without meds than that is the best way. And he does well with me but no good with his mom becasue she does not involved herself with his therapy or time. What can I do to fight for my son's rights. I do not want a zombie for a son because the mother say so. BTW the mother is also a SW which does not help me at all.
#17
Well the trial was Monday and eventhough my ee's attorney requested no witnesess for some strange reason, the judge could not deceide on custody.

Both our attorneys went into the chambers before the trial began and I could hear them talk to the judge in regards to what my ex and I wanted. The GAL was also there to give his recommendation of shared-parenting with me being the custodial parent. Both attorneys said we agree with the GAL but I had a few minor changes that could be argued as well as CS.

All this took less than an hour in court. My main concern was a summer break schedule that was too much back and forth for my son at his age. I had proof from the therapist as well as school to show that a change in his routine would not be positive. The judge questioned my attorney and ask for who these people where but my idiot attorney never ask for the information, guess he figured words were better then say a letter. So, he handed a psychological report to the judge who in my amazement said that he had not seen that report. The psychological evaluation report was done 3 months ago!!! After he skimmed over it he began to question the GAL's recommendation of shared parenting plan. 3 times he asked the GAL about his opinion and why he thought it would work.

You see the psychological report stated that a shared-parenting plan would not be feasible and it was pretty damaging towards the mother. My guess is that the judge seen that and had questions as to why the GAL believes in a shared-parenting. So, he puts the GAl on the line by asking him if he would "bet" that his recommendations would be in the best interest. My guess is that the judge knew sooner or later with that plan that me and my ex would be back in court fighting. In fact he commented that he wanted it to be sure it would work because he did not want to see us in court one week from signing the order for contempt. The judge then asked my ex's attorney and my attorney if thye would bet on the shared-parenting plan to work. Both answered "NO" So I think the judge is very skeptical and that is why he commented that he needs to review before making a deceison.

The odd thing about all this is that it is reveresed. The court is for women more so than men and I beleive that I am the exception since I have had custody of my son through this whole ordeal. The mother has not shown interest in her child and worse she refuse to communicate with me on any grounds. The judge did note that this was evident, including me as well. So now I wait to see what his deceison will be.
#18
Custody Issues / Trial Begins Monday
Feb 03, 2005, 05:46:28 AM
Well it is finally here. After nearly a year of pre-trials and evaulations and continunances my custody trial is Monday. This week has been eventful if not confusing....

On Monday the attorney calls to let me know he received the witness list from my ex's attorney. We then make an appoiment to go over the list as well as construct our list of witnesess. At this point my ex walked out of the GAL office in our last ditch effort to settle out of court by throwing choice words at the whole situation...namely "what the f$%^". Yes, she is a professional too, a social worker who works with kids...

Well she states she wanted a 50/50 placement for our child and refused to settle on the GAL recommendation of a shared parenting with me being the custodial parent.

At my attorney's office I was informed that her attorney has now asked that no witnesess been made to testify and that they now want to agree with the GAL recommendations. Talk about being confused. So now it has been agreed that me, my ex and the GAL will be the only ones to testify in court on Monday. As for agreeing to the GAL recommendations, they want exactly what he wants now but I had requested a slight change for the benefit of my son due to his condition. I do have proof and witnesses to back up my change of recommendations but my attorney reassured me that eventhough there are 2 shared parenting plans submitted, the are going to push for mine.

The next big issues for today is child suport. My attorney requested it and now of course her attorney feels there shoud be now.  We requested child support due to the medical, day-care, and lving expenses I have been paying since my son was born. Yes, his mother carries insurance but I had to get my son seconday assitance on medical to cover the expensive therapy bills each month. I am told that my ex feels this is a wash since I do not pay anything and she does..

So, I have much to anticipate on Monday as I am beginning to smell a rat. My attorney feels we will get custody due to the GAL and Psychologist being on our side in their reports. I do not know anymore and I still beileive there is somthing up.
#19
I have my custody trial comming soon and I am curious as to anyone that has thoughts or been through the process similar to mine.

My ex and I have been through the whole process until now. A GAL, Psychological Evaluations, pre-trials, no settlements. She files a 50/50 share-parenting plan months ago and I had refused it based on the plan itself. Through the evals and GAL, the final recommendations where for a shared-parenting arrangment with me, the father, being designated residential parent. The mother got standard court visitations with an added day ever 2 weeks.

The Psychological Evaluation specificallt stated that a shared-parenting plan was not feasible as the GAL agreed but did want this to become feasible so he was recommending a plan but no 50/50. My ex is refuses to even acknowledge this plan let alone even try to work things outs. So, we are going to trial in a week.

My concern is that my attorney tells me I will get custody based on the GAL and Psychiologist testimonies since they are in agreement and I have agreed to the GAL recommendations. He claims that it is a "no brainer" as to me not needing any witnesses or records of anything to prove my points of custody. I am still concerned because she feels she will get a 50/50 placement. I have spoken to other attorneys regarding my case and they concure that it was stupid of my ex to disagree completely with the GAL's recommendation and blow up in his office.

So why bother? What chances will she have being that my only witnesses are the GAL and Psychologist as my attorney wants. Her witnesses are unknown and to my knowldge she has nothing to prove other than she is the mother. The other facotr here is child support. I file in Oct of last year for stratagy just to see if it can et settled and my motion has not been heard through all the pre-trials. A 50/50 placement ofour child would relieve her of her obilgations. That would be the only reason I see her doing this.

I file a share-parenting plan that is in line with the GAL's recommendations as well as a few other things. Could the ruling judge go against both the GAL and Psycholigist recommendations based on arguments that bear no proof my child would be better off in a 50/50 situation? I am worried that the GAL and the Psycholigist testimony will not help? Any comments!

#20
Custody Issues / Off to a Trial
Jan 05, 2005, 08:16:04 PM
Haven't posted in awhile as things quieted down after mu second pre-trial for usotdy of my son. Well the GAL leaned in my favor but not sole custody but instead more of a joint with my ex. We had a scheduled settlement conference to see if we could solve our differences and come up with a plan to avoid going to court...well...today we saw the GAL for this and guess what?? Yes, we are going to a trial. Not only was there disagreements but my ex flew off the handle and dropped the "F" bomb right in front of the GAL. Needless to say I was touched by this. The GAL finally got to "see" what I have been saying all along. Oh, I did agree with the GAL recommendations but my ex flat - out refused only wanting a shared parenting plan with our son.

I would like to understand somthing here if anyone could help. We both went through the GAL process, had Psychological Evaluations and what not. When it was all said and down both reprots strongly agreed that a shared parenting plan was not feasible. Even in the GAL's report to the courts he stated that he hoped that a shared parenting plan would become feasible in time. So, I was recommended to be the CP and primary residential parent. The mother got visitations with extra day and night alternating weekends. Holidays were the same as before, vactions, and summer break was a bit off on visitations in that my son would alternate one week with me and one week with his mother. Pretty much cut and dry. So knowing all this going into this meeting what are the chances now for say both of us. I was thinking of joint but now I thinking I should stick to sole just after what I saw and how she refused to cooperate on anything. It kind of made me wonder what would be occuring down the road in the future.

To top it off, the GAL was very concerned in regards to me and my ex getting along since my son has developmental problems. But if a parent claims that they were left out of any knowldege of their childs well-being through-out the cusoty process but was in ralty never denied access to anything regarding their child then how can they make such a claim? My ex had over 9 months to be a part of my son's theraphy. She knew about it, her family knew about and when she refused to speak to me, I told her family the progress of my son. She never called me nor offered to see where my son goes or show conern about his progress but when asked in front of those involved she states I purposly kept her away form it all. Now wouldn't any parent who loves their child and wants to truly be a part of their childs life be invovled in any way possible regardless of the situation with thier ex? I am most certain that if my ex had custody, I would be getting infomation weekely on my child no matter what. And, this is comming form my son's mother claimming again and again to the GAL that I threw her out of my house but yet she takes her daughter and  left our son with me...does that even make sense??? WHat grounds will she have to fight me on now?

Thanks
#21
Yesterday, I went to the second pre-trial with the GAL at the last minute producing his report. It is favorable for me as a Father of my son. The questions arises as to terminology stated which my attoreny didn't quite explain to me the findings.

The GAL along with the Psyc Eval recommends that the Father be designated residental parent --WHat exactly does this mean in terms of custody? joint, sole.etc...joint leqal, joint pysical???

The mother has visitation based on the GAL new schedule. The schedule is nearly the same as what we have now but it is adding one extra day. The GAL also recommends that in the summer my son stay with the ex one week and then me one week and then resume the school schedule 2 weeks before school starts. He also recommends 2 weeks parenting time or rather vaction time for each parent.

Next he recommends that if my child spends the night out of the country that the responsible parent give complete details as to the trip.

The rest was to follow the Schedule A visitation paln we both have been using for over 8 months.

I truly do not like this new plan for the fact that my son is only 3 and the he has developmental problems and one trait is his ability to not handle change or disruptive routine. He is just now getting used to the schedule me and the ex have been following and any little change in it he acts out for days. I can not understand why things can't be status quo for the best interest of my son. It is not that I am being selfish but my son's development has been slowly progressing and I am afriad that disrupting the routine he is on will make his progress stop. The GAL also
reported that the Speech Therapist and Day Care stated the my son does not adapt to change and changes. So, why change the schedule now and cause possible problems only to go back into court to spend more money? Or is this the plan????

So, my attorney recommends agreeing with the GAL. We have a settlement conference next month before our custody trial. I truly do not want to agree to all his recommendations as I feel this will disrupt my son's progress at this time. What can I do to explain this with out looking like a selfish parent. BTW, the ex could care less as long as she does not have to pay support.
#22
Yes, my second Pre-trial hearing and still no word from the GAL. At our first hearing there was no GAL or Psych Eval reports. Soon after that, the Psychologist sends his report to the judge and the GAL. Now it has been well over a month and the GAL has not said a word. I know he can come to the Pre-trial and then state his findings but I was told it would be in a report. Any ideas what may be up with this? Is this how the system goes just because it makes everyone money? I would like to call the GAL and ask, but I was told that wasn't a good idea. It just seems that something is up with my custody trial and the way it is being handled due to evryone knowing the money invovled.

#23
Custody Issues / Holiday Issue
Nov 24, 2004, 12:15:59 PM
I have been notified by my son's aunt that his mother is taking him tomorrow for Thanksgiving. She told me this because she knew it was my Holdiay this year and I had plans with my son.  Our court visitation schedule gives her 2 days of visitation (wed/thurs), I have custody at this time while we are still going throught the trial process. Our order also states that each parent is supposed to nofity the other of intentions during a Holiday one week prior to that day. (even years with the father, odd years with the mother). My ex has not called nor made any attempt to let me know unless she brings him home this evening after her visitation or deceides to keep him overnight without telling me.  What can I do to avoid this?  It is truly my Holiday with my son and my ex is most famous for not following the court order and doing whatever she feels she can even by using my son as a pawn. She is a master at changing things to her advantage at the last minute. I do not need this near the Holidays nor does my son need this.

I do want to be fair, but when I try, things get out of hand and it gets worse than before. So, do I follow the court schedule to a "T" and say "I am sorry, you have him next year" or give in just to keep things quiet? I am just concerend for my son's well being. Need Help!!
#24
Custody Issues / Psychological Evaluation report
Nov 16, 2004, 08:06:43 AM
Got to review my report and found it quite interesting. Although there were good and bad things about myself as well as my ex, the final determination was that I was deemed the parent to take responsibility of child. It was a great concern of the Pscycholgist that the mother shows no interest in supporting her child other than visitation. I didn't read much into it but now that that is finished, I am awaiting the GAL report. How much does the Pscy Eval report weigh in in considering cusotdy? One determination in the report mentioned that the mohter wanting a shared parenting plan, but the Pscy stated that this will not work. No other mention as to what type of custody would work. Would this me I have a better chance or retaining custody of my child as oppsed to say joint?
#25
Custody Issues / Pre-Trial and GAL
Oct 23, 2004, 05:07:00 AM
I had my Pre-Trial hearing this week and it was rescheduled again in about a month because the GAL and the Pscy Eval reports were not completed. Both me and my attorney at this point don't know why since I have completed my part. My ex I am wondering, may or may not have done the Pscy Eval. The court ordered us to split this evaluation cost at 50/50. If she refuses due to either money or just plain does not want to take it what will happen or what could happen. Also the GAL sends me a bill each month for his services in regards to our custody investigation. I noticed that in this bill he documents who he interviews as well as the time he spends on the investigation. I only had one visit with him in the beginning of the custody case. I feel he may not be doing his job since he has not called me to ask questions or comment on any documentation I have given him. I see on this borad as well as some others that these GAL's do more interviews with the parents in regards to information they may have presented just to get a more in depth site. I am conerened, but my attorney feels this GAL is very fair. This process is just wasting money and my son is the one who suffers.
#26
Custody Issues / Custody Help or advice
Sep 30, 2004, 03:06:47 PM
I have a pre-trial hearing in 3 weeks for custody of my son. I have custody now and the mohter who left twice in my son's life was wanting sole custody but now has had her attorney file a "shared parenting plan" and awaiting the GAL and psychological evaluation reports. I have given the GAL much documentation, files, pictures, and anything else pertaining to my son and his well being. My ex' mother even talked to the GAL describing how her daughter is not fit to rasie another child. (she has another one from a previous) My son has developmental problems which his mother has not even talked to me about nor done antyhing to help him in any way, but she never misses a vistiation day if anything. My son is in school, therapy and structure activities to help his development and I pay for everything. The GAL is being made aware of this but I feel he could care less. I should say the mother is a social worker and dresses to impress if you know what I mean! So, bascially, we did the GAL, psyc evals and now we are awaiting the courts. My son has lived with me since birth and has not been taken out of my home except for his mother's visitation on her weekends. He still is having problems adjusting to this but it seems no one cares except those that are involved with his development. DO I have any chance of keeping sole custody of him? I honestly beleive that shared parenting or joint cusotdy would only make matters worse since the mohter refuse to discuss or particpate in any of my son's doings. I have much documentation as well as recoridngs and witnesses but I feel that it isn't enough for the courts to "see" the truth. ANy advice or any thoughts?
#27
Just out of curiosity there is a new commerical circulating on TV in the early evenings on some major newtworks that Ford Motor Compnay put out.

It invovles a scene of a family at a beach or what appears to be on a weekend vacation with two children. The scene is happy and everyone looks perfect. For the beginning you have no clue as to how the commerical is going. Ford pumps up the image of family while promoting their SUV.. I think it is a "Freestyle", looks like a small Explorer to me. Anyway, the "family gets back to the home that you see in commerical and Dad is unloading some gear in back while the kids are by him and then all of a sudden he hugs the kids and says "See you next weekend" The kids say "Goodbye Dad!".

The next scene is a face shot of the Dad looking at the SUV and the driver "mom" and he says "Thanks for inviting me this weekend" Mom replays back "Your Welcome" But the expression onher face was not a true smile but more of a look that Ford paid me a lot of money just to act like I am happy your the kids fahter. And lastly the commerical cuts out with the vehicle name and its mission statement.

Now, many wasy to take this commerical but what I got out of it was pure bias against Fathers. I didn't care about the SUV but the message was that ALL WOMEN GET THEIR CHILDREN. As if this slow trend of Fathers getting custody is too much for todays world so someone bright at Ford gets a commericial with split parents giving us all a "pipe dream" of joint custody. I mean come-on!! I could not beleive this commerical.

I do not know, I was pissed off by it regardless if it had good intentions. It just put a bad taste in my mouth in regards to custody and the lwas...

Anyone else see this commerical?
#28
Father's Issues / Chance of Custody for Father?
Nov 03, 2004, 06:58:45 PM
My ex and I have a son. We were never married and she left him with me at age 2. Since birth my son has never left my home. He is over 3 1/2 now and still lives with me. My ex get visitations with my son only through a court order. 7 months ago she filed for sole custody and I counter filed as well for sole custody. Our hearing ordered for me to have custody of my son and his mothter to have companionship with visitations only until a GAL would make a recomendation during a pre-trial hearing. Well we went through the GAL, ordered to take Pscychological Evaluations and nothing so far since the pre-trial hearing was weeks ago with no results from the tests. We have another pre-trial hearing next month. Since my ex left my son and moved out and never came back, how does this work for me in my suit to get sole custody? I do know that if a father left, he is screwed regardless. So why shouldn't a mother be held equal for the same?

 She refuses to communicate with me or acknowlegde anything except when she gets her visitation time and wants to go outside the court orders, then she gets nasty. She pays nothing for her son except health insurance through her work. After a month from filing for sole custody she submitted a shared parenting plan to the courts but I refused to sign it because it was more of a 80/20 plan that was total agaisnt the well being of my son. I am wanting sole custody of my son only for simple facts that my son has developmental problems and the mother has not shown any interest in working with me or her son to help him. She only shows interest when the court dates get near or when he own father threatens to cust her off of his fund. (daddy pays for eveything) Just 2 weeks ago she called the therapist for information after 6 months of not even being involved or even showing an interest.  I am afraid that she is "playing" goodie-too-shoes" to convince the GAL and the court that she wants to be his mother and they will see nothing but the outside, only to know first hand that after this is over, she will drop my son like a hot potatoe, knowing that I will always take care of him.  I am sure a mother in this situtation would have no problem with the way the courts are, but what about me and my chances? I truly have raised him since his birth. And yes, I mean raised him. I fed him, bathed him, nurtured him, etc... Believe it!! Imay not have had the right equipment to nurse him, but yes, I was actually feeding him all the time!!! The mother did harldy anything but complain and then wanted to leave one day but never asked to take her son. She has a daughter from a previous relationship which her daughter has never known her fahter only because the mother convinced her that he was dead. He is not and has not seen his daughter in 12 years!!!! I fear that my son will go through what his step-sister went throguh. So, I have done everything to the best for my son. Her family has even come forward and is willing to testify if it goes to trial. My ex's mother has already talked to the GAL, but it seems that does not help in my eyes only because the GAL seemed to look at it as a vindictive mother/daughter thing. Guess I am just exhausted from fighting and getting no where. I can't afford to lose my son to a life I know will be bad for him. So what else can I do?  I document, pictures, recordings, you name it, it never seems to hold weight for a father wanting sole custody. And as for joint, it will not work. She has already used that excuse to gain access to get my son out of school and to make me"look" as if I was doing things purposely using my son. The school caught wind of this after I talked to them (long story). One last thing, my son's mother is a social worker using the system as I found out. So, there it is. What are the chances?