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At this point in time. There is no use in struggling with MIFOC. They have determined that I will become homeless in paying for child support.

I have cancelled my upcoming CA surgery on the 08/22/2007. It is more important to pay child support. My physician has sent a letter to my employer requesting to work from home. As I was informed that medical disability is not a "reviewable" reason to review child support per MIFOC. The response was not reviewable for three years.

Tonight, I called my friends and the last week of this month will move the household into storage.

At that time will move into my explorer, and use the local truck stops to pay for showers. and laundry etc.

I have become a non parent who can not meet the demands of Our "Friend of Court. Nor at this time, will I be able to meet the emotional needs and or wants of my daughters.

Gawd dammit if they will make me a non payer.

I will do what ever it takes to keep current as they told me that medical needs are not a reason to review child support.

In reality today they increased child support.  Funny, I only make 10.00 an hour. Oddly enough child support is now at $525.50 a month - plus total costs of medical policy and out of pocket expenses.

I cried my tears and will now suck it up and do what is best for my children as I am no longer financially able nor do I  ability to pay for airline transportaton, nor can afford door to door pickup and drop off. I do not have the time off saved for such at work.

Calling my daughter's tomorrow to let them know that I cant financially afford to see the. I wil do my best to ensure something @ Christmas and in the future.  At this point in time, I can only ensure that their oldest Step sisters children on state financial assistane will benefit from the additional dollars sent. As my youngest is not allowed to drink milk or eat cereal as that is for the "babies". hmmmmmmmmmm The bottom line is that there is no messing with MIFOC. They have their adjenda figured out and will deal with it as they so desire.  

Thanks for listening. Sorry for the bemoaning of my situation.

Please, if You are about to cross into Michigan Friend of Courts life, do so with caution.

If anyone as the "Newest Download for Michigan  Friend of Court" would they please email it too me and or post it here please?   I doubt that I can "win" with MIFOC but I would like to know the real truth of actual child support that should be in place.

Thanks for listening,



Child Support Issues / RE: child support to decrease
« on: Aug 14, 2006, 08:44:44 PM »

For the ref hearing
Submitted the last three years of my current tax returns.
as court ordered can only assume that the ex did so too. Those documents were not forwarded to me.

The ex married his current live in of about four years, for quite a few they wer both married to other people. FOC, did'nt find that odd. Went to Vegas for their hunnymoon the last week of July. The ex refused to allow me the telephone number of where the children were. Said it was none of my business as the ex has custodial parenting time. Odd .............with that refusal I was not allowed to call my child on their birthday as the newlyweds were on their hunnymoon.
She called me a week after her birthday to tell me she did not recieve her birthday card from me. even though I had sent it two week prior to her birthday. So a month transpired before she rec'd the birthday card, which she did call me to tell me she had gotten. In it was a "spa day" for her. A birthday card with a visit to have a "glamour day" etc.

There is a huge underlying thread of PA going on that is huge, both children are struggling with it in their own ways. The youngest is the deepest worry as her journal writings as she expresses to me are dark. The oldest is blatant verbally hard to deal with even on the phone.

With all their issues this child support issue is emotionally hard to deal with. The children believe that the ex is "paying too much" and should be relieved of any and all financial contributions. Tax page to tax page the ex makes and has made for a long time more than myself.

The ex is newly married and claiming it is unjust to pay more child support as it has not been raised in ten plus years. The ex is newly married, although has been living with this person and children for some years now. The current claim is that child support should not increase as the ex has a new spouse and child to support. (not a biological child)

The ex has been under the rader for years. The support has not been reviewed on my desired either verbally or in written. Although, in truth did ask for a review when Michigan went from County to State cut child support checks. This only due to no check as ever been cut that has the same amount on the check line. Phone calls, letters to the FOC department have gone unheaded throughout the years.

Most often, I have not approached the FOC as something is better than nothing. I have taken the tactic of just getting another job to  compenstate for my childrens financial needs.

I do not have confidence in Michigan FOC, at this time, for years actually.

Michigan FOC walks to a beat of their own drum.

I will write a written response, show up for the hearing, but I have sincere doubts that the children will prevail at this point in time.

The children do not have the golden spoon in their mouths, & most certainly do Not Piss Off this Judge.

His grudge is held for a lifetime.

Such is life,

PS: Venting again sorrys

Child Support Issues / RE: child support to decrease
« on: Aug 14, 2006, 05:49:39 PM »
Just exactly 21 days later the ex has requested a "Hearing". We are to go before the courts now. The ex has booted the Referree for the Judge.

In general citing there has not been an increase in over 10 years. Requesting that it is just tooooooooooo much of an increase as the courts per the documents reviewed the child support each year without ever ordering additional payments. Citing that we should not split medical costs 50% to 50%. The ex has paid a total of $31.00 towards medical in all this time. Obviously there is a discrepancy in the medical. Also, with the liberal parenting time and held at the least costly advantage to the ex, I pay all transportation to and from.

At this point it is not worth the fight or argument. The children are the ones suffering from the parent alienation tactics that are huge and have been huge for years.

It is just a no win situation.

Thanks for listening. I have to go and write up a written response to some major marlarkey.

Sorry for venting,


Child Support Issues / child support to decrease
« on: Aug 06, 2006, 08:08:15 PM »
Hey there,

I had posted previously that recently we had a referee hearing that lasted less than ten minutes.

At that time I was ordered to provide total Medical Insurance as the ex's health insurance had become too burdensome for him. I didnt object.

We have been divorced for ten plus years with this being the first time the courts have initiated a "review". I had been afraid to ask for a review as some was better than none. Yet, more importantly so that the ex would have no reason to complain to the children about support, although the ex has and continues to do so.

Last week I recieved the "Referee Findings and Recommendation". In there it showed the financial recommendation which would have been an increase of 180 dollars per month to what is currently ordered.

This week I recieved a copy of the "Notice to Withold income for child support. They are ordering that child support be reduced from 450 dollars per month to 150.00 dollars per month for two children. Also, there is a 1/2 abatement during parenting time that is six plus days. That occurs at Christmas and summer. Christmas is at 12 days, summer is at 85 days. The ex chooses not to utilize Spring break which is an open option.

My ex currently makes a little over double of what I bring in. I do not see  this  current order even at a "cost of living" nor since the children have increased in age so has the expenses. I am totally perplexed and even dumbfounded that 37.50 a week is considered adequate.  

With the current with holding order this will fill my teenagers car for the week for travel to and from school, and possibly for travel to sports practices. Or it also will buy a gallon of milk, hamburger, spagettie sauce, cereal, lunch meat, bread, chicken, potatoes, spagettie noodles, granola bars, a roast, canned or frozen vegatables. (Per Week).

I guess I should feel grateful, as the child support will cover some things.

The cost of health insurance with my company is $744.00 per month. Which is taken bi monthyly at 372.00. My last payroll check was at 587.00 take home before the insurance was taken out.

I spent the weekend applying for a 2nd full time job in order to assist in covering the every day expenses for the three of us.

Thanks for listening & sorry for crying over spilled milk,


Hey there,

Say, I am the cp. I recently rec'd a request for all financial documentation of myself in regards to my two children whom I receive child support from. Documents sent.

Hearing was today.

We went over: My current wages, insurance availablity, childcare etc.

We also went over the ex's current wages, insurance availablity.

We have been divorced for almost 12 years. Throughout this time, I have not requested a "review". Basically, due to some is better than none and also since the ex continues to plug into the children that he is always broke.

So at this point I did find out that he makes twice as much as I do.

I am court ordered to supply all insurances. Out of pocket expenses was not covered. (my fault-nervousness) Insurance cost to me will be a "two week" paycheck each month.  

The ex was ordered to stop providing health insurance.

We were told that Child Support would be modified but "since the referee didnt have the figures in front of him we would know the amount  or how often by mail in a few weeks retro to June 1, 2006. I mention how often as when our children are with the ex child support abates. IE: Summer Vacation

With the use of a child support calculator I was able to acertain that the current child support fell below or right at the ex making minimum wage.

With the use of the calculator and the figures presented in court the child support has a possiblity of jumping 2.5 x's the current amount. The ex didnot object all he said was he was looking for another job.

At this point in time, I have a feeling of being bambusled if thats a word.

Is this enough info to get a thought from someone else out there?

PS: Michigan Ref

Moms Without Custody / RE: Good Points!
« on: Mar 30, 2007, 07:52:58 PM »
Thanks for the input. I am saving for the transportation not for a vacation with the children. With the new court order they are taking 60% of what I make at this point in time.  If I can get a court order that will allow me to move within the 100 miles rule then I plan to move. At this point will save for transportation as its 100% my costs for noncust partenting time. Currently, I am trying to find employment within their area that the judge would allow me to move to be nearer the children. I know that I can not accept a wage lower than what I make now or a wage without insurance as I am court ordered to provide health insurance.
The children are doing okay, they sound sad, but they are thriving and suceeding in school, which is upmost important more important then the i win you loose situation, that parent struggle we have been going through.

Thanks again,

Moms Without Custody / MoMs who loose
« on: Mar 25, 2007, 07:34:42 PM »
Hey there,

Yes, it does happen. Even when you try to do the very best. Campaigning against the freebee's during parenting time can only do so much.
My children are now 16 and 13 their other parent offered them new rooms, decorated to the max, there were the disney trips, Cancun trips, Virginia Beach trips. My world consisted of being the MoM getting them up for school, on time to their sports events, practicies that they choose to be in, getting the homework done, going to pta, being there for the IEP meetings (alone) etc.
i didnt have the extra cash for vacations.............
The third wife was the clincher the children bought and sold themselves into this new lifestyle.
The newest court order is a diaster to say the least. At this point in time, if I make no complaints I will not see my children until Christmas 2008 & only if i can pay for full transportation too and from their new residence..............venting thanks for listening.


Dear Socrateaser / RE: Questions to ask in court....
« on: May 15, 2006, 04:46:01 PM »
Dear Soc,

I wanted to say "Thank you" for having a search engine that allowed me to find this thread. I was able to find it only yesterday but it did indeed help my very similar situation.

I went to court today just as the above person did. The outcome was not the same as the other persons. The judge is currently taking all evidence presented under advisement. Both parties have one week to include any additional information. (I am still confused)

I followed the advise that you gave the person to a "T".

My ex asked for our removal by 6pm tomorrow and for me to pay for all legal fees incurred by him.

It is my understanding that the judge was sure that I am not entitled to our home but that its possible that I may be entitled to a percentage from the sale of our home.

So now I have five days to go over the material presented and potentially submit additional info to the court and his atty.

This thread helped from having a parent and two children removed from there home by 6pm tomorrow. I am not sure that he will be awarded his legal costs but I did ask for that not to happen.

Thanks again,

Parenting Issues / Body Piercings
« on: Aug 21, 2006, 04:17:31 PM »
Hi there,

Say, I am curious how many parents if any have gone through issues with body piercings.

At this point in time my children imho are too Young to make these types of choices adequately.

Last summer after going on a week long vacation out of state Virginia Beach both children came home with piercings. We had spoken of piercings prior and both children had been told "No" that at the age of 11 and 15 they were too young.

Needless to say at that time they came home with a belly button pierced and tongue pierced.

Okay, so I about died and lost it totally when I saw them. Spoke with the Ex who in no certain terms told me that, "It's their body they can do what they want with it".  I lost my temper then. I spoke to each child repeatedly in many different ways telling them they do Not have Permission to do piercings.

Okay so fast forward to this year. Each child came home with a lip and eyebrow pierced. Holly Hannahs, what the heck is the ex thinking!!!

I just dont get it and obviously I cant stop it as we share joint custody.


General Issues / PAS do you send a letter to your child
« on: Aug 29, 2007, 10:27:02 PM »

With the heart ache that PAS causes do You send a letter to the child?

As a Parent, I have always tried to "cover" and "hide" the issues.

the NCP and wicked step mother have gone out on a huge limb to undermine me as a parent to the point of engaging in "name change".

At this point I have become the "non parent"....

I have a child who is confused but with each new day she is becoming more "Programmed" towards "Negativity" towards me as a Parent.

I do not see the light in the tunnel but only continued pressure  to "delete" me as a parent.

PAS is a horriable issue, I wish it upon no one.  Does one send a letter to the children explaining their love, the wants of the child, or does one just "walk away" ?

I have been told on more than one occasion i have to "WAIT" many years until my children become old enough to "realise" then "We can have relationship".

Today I do not see me as a parent within my childrens lives. Just more of a person, how soon can you pass so we can collect.



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