PAS do you send a letter to your child

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With the heart ache that PAS causes do You send a letter to the child?

As a Parent, I have always tried to "cover" and "hide" the issues.

the NCP and wicked step mother have gone out on a huge limb to undermine me as a parent to the point of engaging in "name change".


At this point I have become the "non parent"....

I have a child who is confused but with each new day she is becoming more "Programmed" towards "Negativity" towards me as a Parent.

I do not see the light in the tunnel but only continued pressure  to "delete" me as a parent.

PAS is a horriable issue, I wish it upon no one.  Does one send a letter to the children explaining their love, the wants of the child, or does one just "walk away" ?

I have been told on more than one occasion i have to "WAIT" many years until my children become old enough to "realise" then "We can have relationship".

Today I do not see me as a parent within my childrens lives. Just more of a person, how soon can you pass so we can collect.

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[mistoffolees]

How old is your child? How long have you been divorced? How much visitation do you have?

In general, PAS is almost impossible to fight. You have to deal with it other ways. One is simply ignoring it. This works best if you have substantial time with the child and they can see for themselves that what the other person is saying isn't true. Another option is counseling for the child (and for you if it's affecting your life).

It IS possible to take the matter to court, but I would say this is very hard. In some cases (like mine), there is a judicial order of proper conduct which gives specific rules on behavior and possibly makes it easier, but I can't imagine very many cases where you can actually PROVE that the other party was alienating you from the child.

The fact that it's so difficult to solve is why it's so frustrating. Every case is different, but most often, I would suggest that you spend as much time with the child as possible doing fun things. Communicate with the child openly, but do NOT get into discussions about the accusations that the ex is making. Correct factual errors, but the child won't benefit from being in the middle.

Good luck.

[escape2paradise]

Being passive about PAS is the one sure way to ensure your relationship with you child will be destroyed.  Get the book "Divorce Poison" It has great advice on how to handle yourself and your child's behavior.  Get your child into counseling with the plan that eventually you will join the child in some of the sessions.  Don't throw in the towel without trying everything you can.  

I am a CP who's X and his new honey alienated my DD from me.  This started about a year ago and we are just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  I didn't have a clue about PAS when this started nor would I have ever believed it was possible to alienate my daughter from me, we have always been close.  My X was pretty much unavailable for first 12 yrs of DD life.  When he started showing her attention she ate it up and didn't want it to stop.  He fed her  bunch of lies about me and our past together.  I had no idea until she was ready to move out and live with him.  

Don't let the X win, your child will pay for your weaknesses.  I know it is not easy.  There were times when I didn't think I could look at my DD I was so hurt.  There is no love like the love you have for your child and by the same token there is no one who can hurt you like your child when you feel utterly betrayed by them.  Hang in there and GET THE BOOK, you will be glad you did.