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Topics - janM

#1
Child Support Issues / Unclaimed funds?
Sep 08, 2018, 08:15:09 AM
My son was to receive CS since about 2002. Mom rarely paid, was in jail a couple times, wasn't in child's life very much. GS is now 19, engaged, father to be himself.
My son got a letter from CSEA (Ohio) saying they were filing a 4D MOTION TO INTERCEPT AND TRANSFER UNCLAIMED FUNDS.

They got the Obligor and Obligee right, but it's saying it's owed TO her, not that she owes it. Anyway, he's going to call Monday to sort it out.

Anyone know what this means? Who does the money go to?
#2
Chit Chat / Drl Phil on Monday
Dec 02, 2008, 04:07:58 PM
Anyone see Dr. Phil yesterday (Dec. 1st)? It was about parents who abducted their kids.

I missed the first story but...

That poor dad whose son was taken to Brazil... What's the point of the Hague treaty if it's not going to be upheld? That marriage should be declared illegal (she was still married to Dad) and that boy returned to his dad. Change his birth certificate? There is only one legal one and it's from the states. "Step dad" is a legal stranger to this child.

What I find unbelievable is that "step dad" is an attorney who deals with child abduction cases! HUH?? Whether that boy has been in Brazil for 4 months or 4 years, his dad has constitutional rights. Doesn't matter that too much time has gone by. It might be different if there was a legal adoption where due process was followed. There is no process here! And children are adopted all the time after being in a place for years.

He's lost his mother. She effectively made Dad disappear. At the very least Dad needs to have time with his son.  Like someone on the show said, all you have to do is take your kid to Brazil, stay there long enough, and Dad goes away! NOT!!

And the mom who ran off with her daughter, claiming abuse...who do you believe? Sounds pretty fishy to me. Dad's attorney says there were no previous claims of abuse in court. She admitted that she wanted to limit Dad's time and he was demanding his rights. Sounds all too familiar...now mom's time is limited with the child.

Kudos to Dr. Phil this time for standing up for the dads.
#3
Son and exgf were in court last week.

To recap, she is over 12 grand in arrears, was found in contempt last summer and spent a month in jail. Worked for a couple months and was garnished. Last payment was November.

This time she had a letter from a lady whose 4 girls she is babysitting (and who she and her dh brought to the courthouse, they waited in the hall). She said she was getting paid in a day or 2, so they gave her 72 hours to pay.

She was found in contempt, and a 60 day jail sentence suspended provided she make payments, and pay a cash bond of $500 by mid November.

She did make a payment - $69. So she's dodged the bullet this time.

Can anyone explain how the cash bond works?
#4
Child Support Issues / Second contempt in Ohio
May 27, 2007, 05:26:16 PM
My son's exgf was ordered to pay CS in early '03. She was garnished a couple times for a month or two and then quit. She spent a month in jail last summer for failure to pay, after which she was garnished for a couple months and quit again. Last payment was last Nov. She is over 11 grand in arrears.

They are due back in court early June (CSEA filed for it) for a second contempt. Does anyone know what kind of jail time she'll get? I think a second contempt is 60 days but my son has heard of some men getting 6 months. I'm not sure if being over 10 grand would mean prison time (federal offense?). Supposedly she has had her license suspended recently.

I guess we'll find out...
#5
Shrink Rap / Re-unification
Nov 22, 2003, 04:07:33 PM
A friend who belongs to SPARC has just won a contempt motion. His exwife started denying visitation 4 years ago. The kids were 4, 6 and 8 then. He was largely unaware of his options and didn't have the funds for a contempt hearing. Mom had turned the school against him by saying he was not allowed near the kids, and that he had lost all his rights (her reasoning in court was that he had not had contact with them for over a year so he must have lost them).

In the past she alleged physical and sexual abuse but this was hardly mentioned in court. But we're sure the kids have been told that it happened. She has effectively replaced Dad with stepdad, even claiming the kids on their taxes and using stepdad's insurance (both against the court order).

Anyway, Dad has been granted shorter visits to start with, from 12 to 8pm for 2 or 3 Sundays (starting Nov. 30) and then starting overnights again a couple of weekends as well as Christmas afternoon and the day after. Then back to every other weekend and mid-week by February.

They want to get the kids into counselling to help them adjust to seeing Dad and his family again and try to counter the PAS, but nothing is court ordered.

I am wondering the best way to deal with all of this, with them? Should he be truthful about all the things they have been told? What if they are really hateful? The youngest may not even remember them. The oldest may be ok but she is the one that Mom identifies with and I'm sure she's been told that Dad is a molesting monster.

This is probably not going to be a walk in the park...
#6
Dear Socrateaser / Question about service OT
Nov 14, 2006, 05:59:22 PM
A co-signer (parent) is served notice of a complaint for a judgement, by way of a notice of a certified letter left at the house (it was picked up and signed for), but the main defendant (son, who lives elsewhere) receives nothing.

1. Is that adequate notice? An answer to the complaint is expected before the end of next week.
2. If it is notice, should the answer mention that he was not served, but the parent was?
#7
I read a previous post about recording the child and the other parent and have a question or two.

Recently my exgf was jailed for a month for non-payment of CS. We are in Ohio (one-party state).

Just over a week ago she called my cell phone and asked to speak with my son (he's 7). It happened to be on speaker. She was making plans with him to visit her at the facility (not the jail, some other low-security arrangement). I didn't feel that was a good idea. She had sent a letter to him along the same lines that he has not seen. She is always making plans with him before consulting me, and often cancelling those plans so that my son is disappointed.

She then asked him if he was mad at her for being there. He said no. Then she asked him if he was mad at dad for putting her there. He said no. I took the phone from him and told BM the conversation was over and there was a heated discussion (away from child).

1. Since I have legal custody, would I be out of line to monitor her calls to my son by using the speaker phone?

2. Could I also record the calls (if I had the equipment)?
#8
My son's exgf gave him temp custody in 01, and permanent in 02. At the time there was no child support ordered as per their agreement. Child will be 7 in December.

Since she never helped out as promised, my son filed for CS in Jan. 03. She was ordered to attend a work program in May.
They brought her back to court in March of 04 and was ordered to start paying within a month or spend a month in jail. Two weeks later they ordered her back to the work program. She showed up there on the last day of the deadline.

The first payment was garnished from her wages in early April of this year. Four small payments were made in April. She then quit working when she spent 2 weeks in a psych ward. This summer was one ailment after another (par for the course).

They finally called for a hearing late last month to see if she was able to work. My son was invited. He showed up with his gf, and me and a friend. In the hall the assistant prosecutor met with him and told him that mom had called in saying she had no vehicle to get there. We told her she could have had one.

She told my son that mom was now working (she started that week) and they were going to garnish her wages, and that if he stopped getting payments, to let them know and they'd file contempt.

She asked my son if he wanted to address the court, but he was so ticked that mom was not going to even get her wrist slapped, he said no.
And we all left.

Today he got the Findings and Decision of Magistrate (we're in Ohio). It reads:

Present before the Magistrate were (son); and XXX, Assistant Prosecuting Attorney for XX County CSEA. (Mom) was present by telephone.

It lists findings, which are that mom is employed at XXX, and she will pay CS through a wage withholding order.

Decision is that she is ordered to maintain employment and pay CS etc. and that court costs are waived. We are obviously happy with the decision (if she follows the orders).

They never even saw the magistrate. Son was not witness to the phone call. PA had not even verified mom's employment.

1. Is this standard procedure when the parties come to an agreement in the hall?

2. Is this anything worth objecting to, even if the orders are acceptable?
#9
Dear Socrateaser / Praecipe For Transcript
Aug 22, 2005, 08:35:22 PM
Do you know where I could find a form for this? It's not for an appeal or anything, I'd just like a transcript of our hearing last week so I know exactly what the judge said.

I'll probably just write up a simple request. Our county courthouse has few forms to give out, let alone online.

FYI, we had the hearing for the HB130 Ohio POA. We are officially the first in our county to get an extension for another year.

We saw the judge rather than the magistrate that we usually deal with. I like this judge.

The judge wanted to know, from both of us, the reasons for it. Dad admitted that his living arrangement is not suitable for grandson and said he probably wouldn't need the whole year to get his life in order.

Judge asked if the CSB (cps) was involved in getting dad help in reunification, we said no, because child is being well cared for.

He asked about mom, we told him about her mostly psychological troubles.

Judge said this was meant to be a temporary help for families, not an extended thing, but he did grant us another year. He told Dad to write to him when he was ready to terminate the POA. He said if I had any concerns at that time, I could contact CSB to do an evaluation. I think I'll pass unless it's really necessary.

In short, I did take to heart your concerns about a conflict of interest. I am saving all my evidence for now and see what kind of progress Dad makes.

Thanks.
#10
Dear Socrateaser / Filing second POA tomorrow
Aug 08, 2005, 09:28:01 PM
I wrote to you a while ago about the Ohio HB130 grandparent power of attorney. (http://www.legislature.state.oh.us/bills.cfm?ID=125_HB_130)

Both parents and I have signed and notarized a second one, as the first will expire in early September (a year) and my grandson's school requires it to be filed with court and a copy for them.

The filing of a second one requires a hearing to be held within 10 days of filing, to determine if the POA is in the child's best interest (Sec. 3109.76 and 77).

My son, who has legal custody of the boy, has in the past been very resistant to a suggestion of a change of custody to me. Part of the text of this law states that one of the options the court "may" do is treat this as a petition for legal custody and grant it to the grandparent who is the attorney in fact.

My son and bm are unaware of this option. I'm not sure if she'll even get notice of the hearing since she also signed. I don't know if the options will be listed on the notice of hearing.

Since this law is just over a year old, I'm not sure if this magistrate is aware of this option. I had thought of including, with the filing, a copy of the pertinent paragraphs - but techically my son is filing it, and I wouldn't want the mag asking him if he was petitioning for a change in custody. I may ask the clerk if she knows of others on file or if they have had second ones filed. They may not have expired yet.

I am thinking I may need to tell my son, before the hearing, that in order to make our case I'll need to point out some less than favorable things about him and/or his situation. But if I overdo it, I risk getting son riled up and maybe taking GS when he is ill-prepared to do so. Some issues include son's diagnosed depression and social anxiety that he self-medicates; living upstairs from a bar that he frequents; lack of finances and support to us; lack of significant contact with GS, etc.

I'm not sure what to ask you.

1. Any ideas on how the heck I ask for custody without coming out and saying it?

2. Should I just point out the reasons for asking for the POA and hope for the best? (we have had him for over a year.) Maybe mention the options but say that we haven't asked for custody because son was opposed to it and we want to keep peace in the family?

Any ideas welcome and thank you in advance.
#11
I have a question about the HB130 (Ohio grandparents' law) that I mentioned in a previous post.

The first POA that we filed, both parents signed, as required:

Sec. 3109.56.  When a parent seeks to create a power of attorney pursuant to section 3109.52 of the Revised Code, all of the following apply:
(A) The power of attorney shall be executed by both parents if any of the following apply:
(1) The parents are married to each other and are living as husband and wife.
(2) The child is the subject of a shared parenting order issued pursuant to section 3109.04 of the Revised Code.
(3) The child is the subject of a custody order issued pursuant to section 3109.04 of the Revised Code unless one of the following is the case:
(a) The parent who is not the residential parent and legal custodian is prohibited from receiving a notice of relocation in accordance with section 3109.051 of the Revised Code.
(b) The parental rights of the parent who is not the residential parent and legal custodian have been terminated by order of a juvenile court pursuant to Chapter 2151. of the Revised Code.
(c) The parent who is not the residential parent and legal custodian cannot be located with reasonable efforts.

(B) In all other cases, the power of attorney may be executed only by one of the following persons:
(1) The parent who is the residential parent and legal custodian of the child, as determined by court order or as provided in section 3109.042 of the Revised Code;
(2) The parent with whom the child is residing the majority of the school year in cases in which no court has issued an order designating a parent as the residential parent and legal custodian of the child or section 3109.042 of the Revised Code is not applicable.

In A, number 3 applies, there is a custody case on file, so both signed.

However:

Sec. 3109.76.  If a second or subsequent power of attorney is created under section 3109.52 of the Revised Code regarding a child who is the subject of a prior power of attorney or a second or subsequent caretaker authorization affidavit is executed under section 3109.67 of the Revised Code regarding a child who is the subject of a prior affidavit, the person who creates the power of attorney or executes the affidavit must file it with the juvenile court of the county in which the grandparent designated as attorney in fact or the grandparent who executed the affidavit resides or with any other court that has jurisdiction over the child under a previously filed motion or proceeding.

Sec.  3109.77. (A) On the filing of a power of attorney or caretaker authorization affidavit under section 3109.76 of the Revised Code, the court in which the power of attorney or caretaker authorization affidavit was filed shall schedule a hearing to determine whether the power of attorney or affidavit is in the child's best interest. The court shall provide notice of the date, time, and location of the hearing to the parties and to the parent who is not the residential parent and legal custodian unless one of the following circumstances applies:

(1) In accordance with section 3109.051 of the Revised Code, that parent is not to be given a notice of relocation.
(2) The parent's parental rights have been terminated by order of a juvenile court pursuant to Chapter 2151. of the Revised Code.
(3) The parent cannot be located with reasonable efforts.
(4) The power of attorney was created by both parents.

1. Do both parents have to sign the second POA?

I don't see anything specific unless it's implied that ANY POA must be signed by both. I am thinking, if the custodial parent signs it, the NCP will get a notice of hearing and they can object or not.

Here is the link if you need to see more:
http://www.legislature.state.oh.us/bills.cfm?ID=125_HB_130

Thanks for your time.


#12
Dear Socrateaser / Grandparent POA
May 12, 2005, 10:04:09 AM
Soc, I wrote you a while back about having a POA vs filing for custody under the new Ohio law:
http://www.legislature.state.oh.us/bills.cfm?ID=125_HB_130

You advised me that if I were to file for custody of my grandson, I would have to nullify the POA because I would no longer be acting on the parents' behalf. Makes sense to me.

Under the rules of the law, after filing another POA (which I forsee doing this summer), which is good for a year only, court will schedule a hearing to determine if a second POA is in the best interest of the child.

1. I know you are probably not familiar with Ohio law, but do you know if it would be a conflict under the POA if I asked to be added as a party to the case (similar to Defacto custody in other states) with equal legal standing with the parents?

This new grandparent law seems to come up just a bit short in that it doesn't grant legal custody, only physical. It enables me to do everything a parent can do except give permission for him to marry, or be adopted. I guess what I'm looking for is joint legal custody with them.

Thanks in advance for your reply.
#13
Dear Socrateaser / PAS by NCP?
Apr 01, 2004, 01:23:09 PM
My son's exgf gave him temporary custody 3 years ago, and permanent 2 years ago. She has exercised visitation sporadically since then.

Recently my son was hospitalised and asked bm to keep the boy for a short time. The next day she started making up lies about filing for emergency custody and not letting the grandparents take him back home where he and dad live with them.

Dad heard about her behavior and picked up the boy as soon as he was released, at her local police station, but not until she whispered to the boy that she was getting a lawyer.

She saw the boy the following weekend at her sister's, where he was visiting his cousins, and the sister heard bm tell them boy that she was going to have him taken away from Dad to live with her (and her husband).

1. Is there anything that can be done legally to make this behavior stop?
Request some kind of class or counselling?

2. Or do we just deal with the fallout by taking the boy to counselling to undo the damage?
#14
Dear Socrateaser / CP & third party
Mar 24, 2004, 05:25:25 AM
Can a custodial parent file to ask the court to give custody to a third party? Or would the third party have to file against both parents?
We're in Ohio.
#15
Dear Socrateaser / Who's in contempt?
Dec 04, 2003, 04:34:14 PM
My son's ex-girlfriend agreed to give my son custody of their son in 2002. To make this clearer, here is the bulk of the Findings of Magistrate:

1. ZZ, counsel for BM, failed to appear by 9:30 a.m. on February 15, 2002.
2. The parties agreed that Dad should be made residential parent of the the child, XX.
3. The parties agreed there should be no Support Order.
4. The parties agreed that Dad should install a fence to prevent unsupervised access to the swimming pool by XX.
5. The parties agreed that BM should have visitation with the child similar to Local Rule (x) of the xxxx Juvenile Court.
6. The parties will submit an agreed entry within 14 days to address all of the above matters.

Order of Magistrate
1. The agreed entry as submitted by the parties is to be made the order of the court.
The rest is not important. It is signed by the magistrate.

Son's lawyer never did write up an agreed order, so nothing was signed. My son has had physical custody ever since.

I mentioned all this because my son filed to receive CS in January. She has not paid nor contacted CSEA nor provided doctors' excuses. A contempt hearing was held today where she was assigned a public defender and signed a bond. There will be another hearing.

We are on good terms with her right now, and in the hall she said she had spoken to another PD or someone who told her that CSEA should have held a hearing with the parties present, because of the "no support" part of the decision, rather than just make it a court order. And that custody should be reviewed every 2 years (I think that is hooey), and that my son could be held in contempt for not constructing the fence around the aboveground pool.
(I should mention that he and the boy have lived with us since he got custody, it is mine and his father's house...mag. asked me in court if I agreed that one should be built. I said yes, because I wanted the boy with my son. My husband should have been the one to agree because he would have had to build it or have it built.)

My questions are:
1. Could the fence issue be included in the support hearing? Because it was part of the original order (same case number)? Or would she have to file separately for that? She has not been worried about it for nearly 3 years. It is actually CSEA that is charging her with contempt.

2. If she did file contempt for the fence thing, would the fact that there was never an agreed order signed, make that aspect null and void? And would my son be in contempt for not erecting a fence on someone else's property? Would I actually be in contempt for agreeing to it, and not doing it? I don't feel that she'll make an issue of it unless her PD does...or unless she gets PO'd at my son...

Thanks in advance.

ps...if you want a chuckle..
The summons had listed BM as the plaintiff because she filed the original motion to change custody to my son. The magistrate could not have read the papers very well because he started to ask my son if he had consulted an attorney on the matter. My son didn't even have to be there. Lawyer for CSEA piped up and said, "Your Honor, BM is being held in contempt.."
The dad must be the deadbeat, right? LOL!
#16
Second Families / Tribute to Stepmoms?
Aug 23, 2006, 09:19:45 AM
My son has custody of his 7 year old son, and he is engaged to a terrific young lady (she just turned 22) who has assumed the stepmom role for about the past year that they have been living together.

I would like to find a verse or poem praising stepmoms, to either read at the wedding, or frame with a photo (or both). I have one called "The Other Mother" but I was wondering if there are other nice ones out there.

Thanks in advance.
#17
Visitation Issues / CPS testimony inadmissible?
Feb 28, 2008, 05:04:52 PM
We're in Ohio.

My son was recently successful in court in getting supervised visits for his son's mother (ncp). There was a brief review today, and the matter will be reviewed again in April.

After the incident that brought this about, my son called CPS to talk to his son and document what happened and the boy's reaction to it.

I asked about this on another legal board and was told by an attorney from Ohio that if we subpeonaed the case worker, she can't testify as to what the boy said, it would be hearsay. She said there are sometimes exceptions to the hearsay rule but a cps worker is not one of them. She hasn't replied yet as to what those might be.

Anyone know if the same would apply to her records? Or if a counsellor would be one exception to this?
#18
Green Local Schools Parent lobbies school board for right to have lunch with his children
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Comments November 23, 2007
By RACHEL JACKSON

Staff Writer

GREEN DISTRICT -- The board will consider whether parents should be allowed to eat lunch with their students in the school cafeteria.

Christopher Green, who has two middle school children, asked the board to reconsider its parent visitation policy.

He tries to have lunch with his children while they are at school, as a way of being involved and getting to know classmates, he said. But when he contacted middle school staff in September, he was told the only way he could have lunch with his children was to meet in the guidance office.

Such a location would seem to be a punishment to the student, Green said. He doesn't have a problem with sitting at a separate table from other students but he wants to be able to be in the cafeteria and to eat cafeteria lunch with his children.

School administrators told him he presents a security and safety risk, Green said. They also said it was against school policy.

Based on the reaction of school administrators, Green called around to other districts, all of which said they would "welcome" visiting parents, he said.

Green brought three requests to Tuesday's board meeting. First, he asked to be allowed to eat in the same room as other students, even if a separate table is set up. He acknowledged custody disputes can be a concern in some cases, but said in most cases it's not a problem.

Second, he asked for school communication issues to be addressed. Administrators told him they would discuss the issue with staff but the issue was never brought up, Green told the board.

Third, he asked the school handbook be updated and brought in line with policy. The handbook does not address lunchroom policies, so the policies should either be put in the handbook or thrown out, Green said.

He also asked that meeting times for the Parent-Teacher Organization be consistent and match the handbook to allow for greater parent attendance.

"I care about our kids and I want to be part of their lives," Green said.

Board member Julie Finney said the requests were reasonable.

"I think parents should be welcome and we need to find a way to make that happen," Finney said.

Parental involvement in students' lives is very important and should be encouraged, she said.

Superintendent Larry Brown agreed some changes need to be made, specifically in regard to communication. He hopes the district can turn this into a "positive thing" and can look at the bigger picture.

President Kevin Trent said the board will look into the issue and "certainly there's a compromise that can be reached."

Reporter Rachel Jackson can be reached at (330) 287-1632 or [email protected].

#19
Visitation Issues / Mom faces kidnapping charges
Aug 06, 2004, 04:29:29 PM
http://www.the-daily-record.com/article.php?pathToFile=/articles/news/&file=_news1.txt&article=1&tD=
#20
Custody Issues / Where is Lawmoe???....nm
Aug 06, 2006, 09:25:20 AM
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#21
Custody Issues / Lawmoe....Third party question
Nov 12, 2004, 05:01:16 PM
I posted this to Soc but I know he's on vacation...

My son was given custody of his boy by his ex-girlfriend nearly 3 years ago. The boy has been living with me and my husband (son's dad) for about 6 months. I consulted an attorney about options re: guardianship, custody, etc. He said the best option would be to have the parents both agree to changing custody to me and that he could draw up an agreement (not sure if it's gonna happen, but...).

I presently have Power of Attorney through the new Ohio law which is signed by both parents and filed with our juvenile court.

1. If this were the case, would this attorney be representing the parents, or me?

2. And if it's the former, this would mean I could not use him in the future for custody matters, correct?

3. Would this mean I should use a different attorney to write the agreement?

I would use this guy if given the choice, I'm told he is a bulldog and is so professional he doesn't communicate by phone or email (it's not secure or private enough).

Thanks in advance.
#22
Some of you know that I came here over 3 years ago asking for advice for my son, whose ex-girlfriend had given him temporary custody of their then 2 year old son. It was to last for 6 months only, so I was advised that he should file for permanent before that was up. He did, and bm (her mom probably) got a lawyer to fight it. Hearing was continued and during that time he pursuaded her to make it permanent. She did and they agreed to no support at the time.

He and the boy lived with my husband and me since then, in an "apartment" in our basement. Mom rarely exercised her "agreed to" visitation and still has not paid child support that dad filed for in early 2003. She has been found in contempt and was ordered to a work program which referred her to a job that I'm not sure she is still at. She gets "sick" a lot and claims to be bipolar. She has had 2 surgeries this year.

My son has worked off and on and until last month was working with a guy for cash - "self employed". When he met bm when he was 17 he had already lost his license due to an accident at 16. He got it back at 21 and last summer lost it on a DUI and then a DUS. He is eligible to get it back now once he pays fines and takes a test.

This spring he started going out in the evenings and soon started staying overnight at a friend's house, leaving GS with us. Since he could not drive, I was already taking GS to daycare and back and would watch him while son worked over dinnertime. By mid-summer he was gone all the time, stopping in to shower and change clothes and leave.

I should mention that he has depression, for which he was prescribed Paxil. He claimed to be having difficulties with that but I now know that it is that, plus being so close to the local bar out there.

Once I was told what was going on, I accepted that we were GS's caretakers and that he was doing well with us. I had son and bm sign a Power of Attorney that the state of Ohio has for grandparents (his school needed it filed with the court). BM said she was glad we were taking care of him. I have coordinated visits with her (when she doesn't back out) and allow her frequent phone contact.

Son recently became angry with us for not loaning him the money to pay his court fines (he could have paid it long before now). I recently opened a letter to him (he told me long ago to open his mail to pay bills for him, including health insurance that I helped pay for) from a drugstore near him saying his prescription had expired and he should see his dr for a refill.

He and his "roommate" had planned on moving to another house and taking GS with him several months ago. It has been put on hold a couple times and his friend was having doubts about moving them in since son lost his "job" when he didn't show up for a few days. His friend was filling me in on son's "activities" and seemed sympathetic to our situation.

Well my son called today, irate, asking why I was going to talk to a lawyer (I had stupidly mentioned the possibility to his friend) and why I was taking his son away from him. I had, indeed, seen one yesterday but I played dumb. I said I wasn't doing anything yet (true). He said he was trying to get his $hit together and would have a place of his own by end of next week and would come for GS. He said he would get him to school. I asked how. He said drive. He has no license. He as much as admitted to going to the bar every night "cause you guys drive me crazy".

And about 3 times he said, "Don't f*ck with my son, or I WILL GO OFF".

I asked him what he meant. I'll go off. I said, you're gonna hurt me? and he hung up.

The attorney had given me 3 options:
1. Get an agreement from both parents (yeah right)
2. Ask the court to add me (us?) as a 3rd party to the case, file for custody, and for temp custody till hearing
3. Guardianship (court would have to change from juv. to probate)

I think number 2 is the best bet IF we could get temp. Of course it will cost more. I haven't even had time to discuss this with dh yet but he knows about the phone call today.

Atty asked how my relationship with bm is. I said good. I have always tried to keep the peace with her, even when I felt like choking her. He said maybe you could form an alliance with her.

He did say that they have a couple strikes against them:
Lack of support from both at present
and abandonment by son (he has seen him 2 or 3 times, briefly, this month)

What do you think about sounding out bm on this? She has told me before there is a drinking problem and did say she was glad GS is with us. Even if she made a bid for custody, to get out of CS, she would have to do some major changes herself.

I am so scared of son just showing up and taking him. It would be different if he had his act together. If the threat of having custody changed would make him "go off", that makes him very unstable.
GS has lived here most of his life and is doing beautifully. But, we have no rights to him. I am willing to do whatever I have to, to keep him safe and happy, even at the expense of my son's well-being. He had no reason to move out from here. We would have continued to help him, if he had only worked with us and not made the choices he has.

Sorry to ramble. I could use some input here.
#23
Father's Issues / Sad news story
Nov 26, 2007, 04:20:10 PM
http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=78680

Mom moved to Texas with the child to be with a guy she met online, with tragic consequences.
#24
http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=277813>1=7702

I hope he does a better job than she has.
#25
Father's Issues / AMBER ALERT
Jul 28, 2007, 04:43:26 PM
http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=71866
#26
Father's Issues / Sparc user on His Side tonight!
Jun 27, 2004, 04:23:12 PM
If any of you know Lee and Mimi, they have been asked to be on the air on His Side with Glenn Sacks tonight.

Glenn is discussing PAS with guests Gloria Allred and Dean Tong. See http://www.hisside.com/.

Lee was denied visitation with his kids for over 4 years and endured false allegations. He finally took his ex to court last fall where she was found in contempt. She is appealing that decision. He was reunited with his kids late last October. They are almost at the end of a month-long summer visit and have had a wonderful time. They are as close to Dad now as they ever were. Lee has court in September for another contempt and change of custody.

Tune in if you can, it should be an interesting show!
#27
Father's Issues / linkmaker?
Nov 21, 2003, 07:07:18 PM
Can we still access the Linkmaker tool from the boards?