Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center
crazy gamesriddles and jokesfunny picturesdeath psychic!mad triviafunny & odd!pregnancy testshape testwin custodyrecipes

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - janM

Pages: 1 2 3
Custody Issues / Lawmoe....Third party question
« on: Nov 12, 2004, 05:01:16 PM »
I posted this to Soc but I know he's on vacation...

My son was given custody of his boy by his ex-girlfriend nearly 3 years ago. The boy has been living with me and my husband (son's dad) for about 6 months. I consulted an attorney about options re: guardianship, custody, etc. He said the best option would be to have the parents both agree to changing custody to me and that he could draw up an agreement (not sure if it's gonna happen, but...).

I presently have Power of Attorney through the new Ohio law which is signed by both parents and filed with our juvenile court.

1. If this were the case, would this attorney be representing the parents, or me?

2. And if it's the former, this would mean I could not use him in the future for custody matters, correct?

3. Would this mean I should use a different attorney to write the agreement?

I would use this guy if given the choice, I'm told he is a bulldog and is so professional he doesn't communicate by phone or email (it's not secure or private enough).

Thanks in advance.

Custody Issues / Folks, I need advice and prayers (long)
« on: Sep 24, 2004, 05:37:45 PM »
Some of you know that I came here over 3 years ago asking for advice for my son, whose ex-girlfriend had given him temporary custody of their then 2 year old son. It was to last for 6 months only, so I was advised that he should file for permanent before that was up. He did, and bm (her mom probably) got a lawyer to fight it. Hearing was continued and during that time he pursuaded her to make it permanent. She did and they agreed to no support at the time.

He and the boy lived with my husband and me since then, in an "apartment" in our basement. Mom rarely exercised her "agreed to" visitation and still has not paid child support that dad filed for in early 2003. She has been found in contempt and was ordered to a work program which referred her to a job that I'm not sure she is still at. She gets "sick" a lot and claims to be bipolar. She has had 2 surgeries this year.

My son has worked off and on and until last month was working with a guy for cash - "self employed". When he met bm when he was 17 he had already lost his license due to an accident at 16. He got it back at 21 and last summer lost it on a DUI and then a DUS. He is eligible to get it back now once he pays fines and takes a test.

This spring he started going out in the evenings and soon started staying overnight at a friend's house, leaving GS with us. Since he could not drive, I was already taking GS to daycare and back and would watch him while son worked over dinnertime. By mid-summer he was gone all the time, stopping in to shower and change clothes and leave.

I should mention that he has depression, for which he was prescribed Paxil. He claimed to be having difficulties with that but I now know that it is that, plus being so close to the local bar out there.

Once I was told what was going on, I accepted that we were GS's caretakers and that he was doing well with us. I had son and bm sign a Power of Attorney that the state of Ohio has for grandparents (his school needed it filed with the court). BM said she was glad we were taking care of him. I have coordinated visits with her (when she doesn't back out) and allow her frequent phone contact.

Son recently became angry with us for not loaning him the money to pay his court fines (he could have paid it long before now). I recently opened a letter to him (he told me long ago to open his mail to pay bills for him, including health insurance that I helped pay for) from a drugstore near him saying his prescription had expired and he should see his dr for a refill.

He and his "roommate" had planned on moving to another house and taking GS with him several months ago. It has been put on hold a couple times and his friend was having doubts about moving them in since son lost his "job" when he didn't show up for a few days. His friend was filling me in on son's "activities" and seemed sympathetic to our situation.

Well my son called today, irate, asking why I was going to talk to a lawyer (I had stupidly mentioned the possibility to his friend) and why I was taking his son away from him. I had, indeed, seen one yesterday but I played dumb. I said I wasn't doing anything yet (true). He said he was trying to get his $hit together and would have a place of his own by end of next week and would come for GS. He said he would get him to school. I asked how. He said drive. He has no license. He as much as admitted to going to the bar every night "cause you guys drive me crazy".

And about 3 times he said, "Don't f*ck with my son, or I WILL GO OFF".

I asked him what he meant. I'll go off. I said, you're gonna hurt me? and he hung up.

The attorney had given me 3 options:
1. Get an agreement from both parents (yeah right)
2. Ask the court to add me (us?) as a 3rd party to the case, file for custody, and for temp custody till hearing
3. Guardianship (court would have to change from juv. to probate)

I think number 2 is the best bet IF we could get temp. Of course it will cost more. I haven't even had time to discuss this with dh yet but he knows about the phone call today.

Atty asked how my relationship with bm is. I said good. I have always tried to keep the peace with her, even when I felt like choking her. He said maybe you could form an alliance with her.

He did say that they have a couple strikes against them:
Lack of support from both at present
and abandonment by son (he has seen him 2 or 3 times, briefly, this month)

What do you think about sounding out bm on this? She has told me before there is a drinking problem and did say she was glad GS is with us. Even if she made a bid for custody, to get out of CS, she would have to do some major changes herself.

I am so scared of son just showing up and taking him. It would be different if he had his act together. If the threat of having custody changed would make him "go off", that makes him very unstable.
GS has lived here most of his life and is doing beautifully. But, we have no rights to him. I am willing to do whatever I have to, to keep him safe and happy, even at the expense of my son's well-being. He had no reason to move out from here. We would have continued to help him, if he had only worked with us and not made the choices he has.

Sorry to ramble. I could use some input here.

Father's Issues / Sad news story
« on: Nov 26, 2007, 04:20:10 PM »

Mom moved to Texas with the child to be with a guy she met online, with tragic consequences.

Father's Issues / Britney Spears loses custody of her kids
« on: Oct 01, 2007, 03:46:51 PM »

I hope he does a better job than she has.

Father's Issues / Sparc user on His Side tonight!
« on: Jun 27, 2004, 04:23:12 PM »
If any of you know Lee and Mimi, they have been asked to be on the air on His Side with Glenn Sacks tonight.

Glenn is discussing PAS with guests Gloria Allred and Dean Tong. See http://www.hisside.com/.

Lee was denied visitation with his kids for over 4 years and endured false allegations. He finally took his ex to court last fall where she was found in contempt. She is appealing that decision. He was reunited with his kids late last October. They are almost at the end of a month-long summer visit and have had a wonderful time. They are as close to Dad now as they ever were. Lee has court in September for another contempt and change of custody.

Tune in if you can, it should be an interesting show!

Father's Issues / linkmaker?
« on: Nov 21, 2003, 07:07:18 PM »
Can we still access the Linkmaker tool from the boards?

Pages: 1 2 3
Copyright © SPARC - A Parenting Advocacy Group
Use of this website does not constitute a client/attorney relationship and this site does not provide legal advice.
If you need legal assistance for divorce, child custody, or child support issues, seek advice from a divorce lawyer.