Messages

Dear Soc,

Brief history: I (father) have sole legal, permanent residency, and shared physical on a week-to-week basis.

Knowingly against my will, the mother has bought an "air-soft gun" for our 10 year old son, and intends to let him play with it outside, unsupervised.
The package said the gun is only for age groups 16+.
I believe these guns are dangerous (numerous reports of eye/ear loss and even death), and do not want my son playing with them.

1) Is there a way I can prevent her from letting him play with this "toy"?

2) IF he hurts someone with this gun, and a civil suit is filed, who will be financially responsible?

3) IF he hurts someone, what are the chances he will be charged with Assault with a (deadly) weapon, and illegal possession of a firearm? (just Googling "Air-soft gun danger" shows cases where charges were filed)

4) Will these (felony) charges affect his greencard renewal, or even cause deportation?

5) Will a letter from me to her, stating I do not allow allow him to play nor condone him playing with them when out of my control, keep me scott-free if anything happens?

Thank you!

Kent!

Soc,

In short:
Wife's car got rear-ended 2 weeks ago at approx. 30 mph, estimate = $ 4,000.00
She has a whiplash, serious head ache, and backpain ever since.
Police report faults the other (young) driver, but the cop didn't cite him (I think the cop knew his daddy).

Other driver claims he just rolled into her after he came to a full stop, and claims all damage was pre-existing.
(In all fairness, there was a small dent in the trunk lid. New damage: Trunk won't close, crumple zones crumpled, rear door opening smaller, fender ripped, trunk floor buckled)

I had her car assessed next day by Honda dealership bodyshop, who will testify that all damage was undeniable fresh damage.

Other insurance now claims "pre-existing damage", and refuses to pay for repair nor medical bills.

Our insurance is not really giving us any info as to what to do, or who will pay for what.

1) Should we hire an attorney?

2) Should we hire just any attorney, or call those "Car wreck? We'll get you cash"-kinda lawyers? I think they're also known as ambulance chasers?

We're not looking to "hit it big" with this, we just want our car damage repaired, medical bills paid, and evt. attorney cost reimbursed.

Thank you!

Kent!

Dear Soc,

I have sole legal, shared physical (week on/week off), and permanent residence.

Ex moved 1 hr. away several years ago, she drives our child to school in my district. Child is in 4th grade now.

I plan on moving halfway CLOSER to her, and consider leaving my son in his current school (OK'd by Super Intendent), or move him to my new school district for 5th grade, last year of elementary school. New school would be only 1/2 the drive for her.

1) From a point of view of stability, which do you recommend? (She will b*tch about either one)

2) IF she decides to take us back to court (with only that), does she stand a chance?

Thanks!

I would call the media.
They usually jump right on government stupidity, especially when they think they can blame Bush for it.

I bet ya they'll find a way too...

[sole legal]

Dear Soc,

Hypothetical situation (just out of curiosity):

2 married persons divorce. They get shared physical custody on a week-to-week basis, but parent A gets sole legal custody.

At a later point in time, parent A dies.

1) Will parent B be given sole custody?

2) Would parent A's Will, designating custody to a 3rd party (like a new spouse), prevail over parent B's right to the child(ren)?

Thanks!

Kent!

Absolutely ask for a custody evaluation, BUT DO request an evaluation done by a psychologist, and NOT by a guardian ad litum!

Psychologists are not much more expensive than a GAL, but most have a better view of what is going on.

Also: Make sure you have a good evaluator available when the judge asks for a suggestion.

Kent!

Dear Soc,

Week-to-week shared physical, I have sole legal custody.
Ex filed false allegations, that didn't fly with the GAL, out-of-court settlement with unchanged custody expected within 2 weeks, or court in October.

Since about 3 months my 8 year old child is reporting that my ex
a) leaves him by himself at a public skate board rink/ramp for more than an hour while she goes shopping,

b) turns her wedding band with the diamond to the inside before she hits him (and his half-brother) until he cries (no marks found though),

c) she and her hubby regularly get into physical fights in front of him.

d) next to a good portion of PAS, she calls him names ("asshole", for example) when she gets upset with him.

However, this is all his words (he's usually very reliable), there is no proof. My son now starts to show aggressive behavior as well, and is obviously upset.

My atty wants to bring this up to the GAL with court (possibly) coming up in October. However, the GAL (neutral so far) has in the past told me that as long as nobody gets hurt, she doesn't want to hear about anything or any allegations, and has ignored previous (less severe) reports from my son.
The GAL also told me that she will look very unfavorable on me putting my son in therapy, which he clearly needs.
OK so far, we can wait until after the settlement / court.

Question:
After court, I want my son in therapy. (IF my son reports same issues to therapist, therapist is required to report to DFACS).
Do I need to inform my ex about the therapy? She will do anything to influence him.

Is it advisable to inform the ex?

What else can I do to bring this to the court's attention, since the GAL is not willing to listen to it?

Thank you so much in advance!

Kent

Background:
Ex and I have shared physical, but I have sole legal. Our son was not born in the US, and does not have a SSN (only a Tax ID Number).
Ex wants me to get him a SSN and give her the number, so she can open a savings account in his name. I am very hesitant to do this.

1) At some point and time I will have to get him a SSN. Am I required to give her the SSN? Nothing in the custody order about this.

2) IF I give her his SSN, and she messes with it (i.e. runs up a credit card in his name), will I be held responsible for the bills? (having sole legal custody)

3) Having sole legal, would I have any rights to this savings account? (Now that would be a hoot... LOL)

4) Is it unreasonable of me to tell her to open an account for him in her own name? You know, dangers of identity theft... (and she deliberatley ruined my credit in the past).

Thanks!

Kent!

Dear Socra,

Thank you for your quick response.

What however if she just withdraws her case, and we don't go to court? Then we've had several thousand dollar in expenses. Is there any way to recoup that in small claims court?
Or do I have to file a counterclaim for damages so the case still comes before the (family court) judge in spite of her withdrawl? (with the result of incurring more costs, and the risk of not getting anything back)

Thank you for your answer!

Kent!

Dear Socra,

In her latest filing for a change of custody, my ex made numerous false allegations against me. All allegations have been researched and found to be untrue by the GAL.
The judge however is very likely not going to award attorney fees.

Can I (with all the proof I have that her allegations were false) take her to small claims court, and recoup my atty fees via that route?

Kent!