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Topics - tulip

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Minnesota State Forum / Help! DH lost his job.
« on: Feb 09, 2004, 07:59:30 AM »
Last week, dh lost his job due to a structure change in the company. He was awarded joint custody in Dec with the order bm slammed through fraudulently right before Christmas. It states that he would continue to pay the same amount of CS until June 2005. What they agreed to in court, is that he would continue paying her the same amount while she is enrolled in the same nursing program full time, then have it reviewed. She was supposed to graduate in Dec, but didn't because she failed classes most likely due to excessive absences.

Now we are suspecting that she is no longer enrolled full time, because she has told dh that she dropped one of her classes. Court is not until April for her to answer for why she filed the wrong order behind our backs and try to get the correct one in place.

So, she has an order saying that he has to pay X amount until June 2005. He has joint custody, but it has only been in effect for less than 2 months, although actually, we have had the kids most of the time for well over a year. Can he ask to have cs just because he lost his job? If so, will it be based on joint custody?

We don't want to piss off the court by trying to get the cs changed so soon, but don't want him to get behind on his support either.

Minnesota State Forum / DH is scheduled for mediation again.
« on: Jan 08, 2004, 07:38:20 AM »
BM is really scared about getting into trouble now. I thought for sure when she saw what dh's atty filed, she would realize that she is totally getting away with everything, but I guess not. It only made her more upset. I am wondering, though, if we got copies of everything he sent her, because when she called dh the other day, to tell him he's insane, after reading the papers she got, she metioned that he said she acted in bad faith by not going to mediation. I don't remember reading anything about that in the motion atty filed, and I think I would have noticed, because I was upset that it wasn't mentioned! He filed an affidavit requesting that the judgement be amended to the one she was SUPPOSED to file, instead of the one she "fraudulently" filed. He also asked that she be required to pay atty fees of $1000, resulting from her actions. And he noted that she also violated both the order she was supposed to file, and the one she did file. Court isn't til April, but hopefully the judgement will get modified immediately.

I've just been so frustrated about all this it's making me physically sick. I've been praying about it alot, and have decided to throw my arms up and surrender. Yes, it was really crappy what she did to us at Christmas, but it's done, and we can't get Christmas back. She did sign the paper awarding dh joint custody, so he has that now, and that's a huge gain! We will get the cs modified, so we can afford to buy these kids the clothes and things they so badly need. So I want to quit fighting.

Now, she called and rescheduled their mediation appt, so that's back on. DH said that he thinks she's going to show up this time, because she got herself into trouble. So back to the parenting plan we gave her before their last appt. I copied the one of this site, and modified it for our situation. She has a huge problem with the statement that neither of them can call each other's homes between 8pm and 8am. She also has a huge problem with all the statements about step-parents' rights to care for the kids, transport the kids, attend activities, school functions, and conferences. I think if she brings this up in mediation, they are going to tell her she's nuts. I'm no atty, but I really think a stepparent already has these rights. The only reason I left it in there is that she's always arguing about this, and telling dh that legally she thinks she can prevent me from volunteering at their schools and going to their conferences.

Anyway, that meeting is tomorrow, and I'm glad that's it's finally happening. Hopefully it means that all this fighting is coming to an end, or at least calming down some. But I shouldn't get my hopes up, because who knows what will happen when they get there. I'm just glad that the kids are her this weekend, so if she walks away pissed off she can't take it out on them.

Minnesota State Forum / Can someone help me with cs review hearing?
« on: Jan 06, 2004, 09:42:55 AM »
Now in the middle of all this crap w/skids and their bm, I got a notice that the bd of my daughter has requested a hearing to have his cs reviewed. This is a total joke, and I am not going to hire an atty to bring me through this one--no way, not worth it.

But I don't know what I'm supposed to do to prepare for this hearing. If there is some paperwork I need to bring to it, I want to be ready.

My cs worker won't even return my call. She won't help me, the last time I talked to her she was really snotty with me. Like "How dare you ask me for information about why you're receiving cs payments." Whatever. I thought that was her job, but anyway, does anyone else know what I should do to prepare for this? The hearing is Jan 22.

DH finally got a call back from his atty. He's been trying to reach him since Dec 24. We e-mailed him over the weekend with all the details of what's been happening. He never got the email. He also told dh that he will not be able to check it until he goes home, because his email at the office is screwed up.

He said there is nothing he can do about her taking the kids w/o his permission. What bm did was very devious, and underhanded, but it's done. He will send a letter to the judge, informing her what happened, and try to get the modification approved by her that was to be filed instead of the one from Sept. What good will that do? She has already violated it in more than one way. She has no intention of going to mediation, and she knew she was violating the order when she took the kids to AK, but didn't care.

Atty said it would be ludicrous to file for sole custody, because he already agreed to joint custody, so if he goes back on that, he would be back where he started.

I'm thinking maybe dh needs to get a different atty.

BM is very scared right now, thinking she might go to jail for this. When she comes back and finds out she is going to get away with this, she will never stop doing this kind of crap.

PBFH took kids to AK on Xmas day. The judge told her not to, but she did anyway. She filed a modification of custody that was presented to her in Sept and she absolutely refused to sign. So then dh had to take her to court, and all the other bs. A new modification was sent to her after court which addressed the issues that were discussed in court (one being the agreement that they would go to mediation)--she claimed she never got anything but the papers from Sept.

The holiday schedule was switched (must have been a mistake by dh's atty.) so it states that she gets them Xmas day this year. It also states that they have joint custody and that she was to bring them back Dec 26 at 9:00am. Of course she didn't, because she is in AK, so dh filed a police report. She is in contempt of this court order that she pushed through secretly at the last minute. We didn't even know that she was doing this until noon on Xmas eve.

DH thinks that now that they have joint custody, it is also illegal for her to take the kids out of the state without his consent. Is this true? She got the message that the police tried to contact her, and now she is pretty bummed out. She actually wants dh to go into court and say this is all okay, so she doesn't get in any trouble. She is not bringing the kids back to our house until Jan 4 late in the day or evening. This will be another violation of the order she signed, since it states that he can pick the kids up Sunday morning before church for the start of his week.

Minnesota State Forum / question for jurro
« on: Dec 15, 2003, 11:49:33 AM »
I have read some of your posts referring to a communication notebook. I think this would be a good idea for my dh to try with his ex, so I wanted to know how it works for you. Is the use of it written into your parentin plan? Are there any rules about removing pages from it, or has this ever been a problem? Do you use a spiral or loose leaf notebook? Is it exchanged when your children are exchanged? Do the kids bring it back and forth, or do you hand it to her personally?
My dh is working on setting up a joint custody agreement, but would like as little personal contact with bm as possible. He doesn't want to talk to her unless he absolutely has to.

Minnesota State Forum / Court yesterday--this is long
« on: Dec 11, 2003, 06:40:15 AM »
DH got joint physical custody! BM showed up w/o atty, pissed off. She told dh's atty that she had already agreed to give him joint custody and go to mediation, she only wanted him to wait until she was done w/school, and said she is not done now. This doesn't make any sense, she's been saying she would be done in two weeks for 2 months. Dec 3 was her last day, and she has told dh she was graduating. I think she's getting her LPN, but wants to continue for her RN. Anyway, she also told atty that dh has been taking the kids every other week. Lie. This is the first week he has been able to keep them.

She told the judge that he is wonderful w/ the kids, and agrees to them having joint custody. They both had to testify that they can get along and respect each other, that was the hardest part. Atty didn't want to bring up any of the things they had been fighting over, because he couldn't believe this was happening so easily. They are still to go to mediation to work out all the details.

They were already arguing last night. She is playing mind games w/the kids. Making them sad because the judge said she can't take them to Alaska for Xmas. They didn't even really want to be away from home on Xmas, but she just has to tell them that GP and GM are going to miss them so much and make them feel really bad. So ss got really sad and wanted to go spend the night at his mom's. No. We're not changing everything at the last minute because moods change. What they need is stability, and now bm can't take that away from them anymore. If they end up back in court because they can't make this work, there will be no joint custody. The judge made that very clear. BM knows if they can't have joint custody, he is going for full, and she is scared as hell about that. She tried to get herself a free lawyer and couldn't get one.

The issue of cs came up briefly. The judge said that all dh would have to do is ask for a review hearing, and the HV formula would be applied. Then someone brought up the fact that he had said he would continue paying the same amount for some time while she was in school. Don't know how that's going to work out yet. His atty is drawing up the order, and he said he would word it in the most advantagious way for him. He told atty afterward that he does not her going to school for the next 8 years so she can keep collecting a large amount of child support from him. The good thing is, she can't get it raised now. If she asks to have it reviewed, it will go down. And you can bet he will ask to have her income imputed. Nurses are in great demand, and there is no reason she can't be working full time at least during the weeks that the kids are here.

Minnesota State Forum / Is anyone there? Need info on cs guidlines
« on: Dec 02, 2003, 07:21:04 PM »
I am trying to find out how cs is calculated or modified when custody is changed to joint 50/50 parenting time. I looked on the links here, but didn't really find what I need to know. Hopefully they can come to an agreement in mediation, but if not, it will be determined by the court.

Minnesota State Forum / update
« on: Nov 30, 2003, 07:23:24 AM »
DH has court scheduled on the 10th. He is asking for custody with equally shared parenting time, or joint custody. After saying all along that she will fight him tooth and nail if he takes her to court, bm now has asked dh to make an appt for mediation. Also, she's told him that when they go to court, she is going to tell the judge that she is perfectly willing to give him joint custody. Here's the kicker, though. If she was willing, then why didn't she sign the papers he presented her with months ago? Also,  even though she says she is willing to give dh all this time with his kids now, she refuses to change their busses back. Before school started, dh told her I could not take them to school anymore. She knows he can't because he's at work. So she agreed to have them take the bus from here. Nothing has changed to make it impossible for her to take them to school. She's done with school now so she doesn't have to get up in the morning, so she is refusing to drive them.
DH's affidavit states that if she is willing to go to mediation, he would do that instead of further litigation. Also, his atty sent her a letter stating that if she agreed to mediation, he would agree to the continuance of the court date. He asked for notice in writing, which she has not done, but she has agreed verbally to dh. DH wants to go to court on the 10th, because he wants to at least get the temporary order for joint custody while in mediation. But it is still impossible to have the kids staying here on school nights because of the bus.

Child Support Issues / I need a link to get child support forms
« on: Feb 27, 2004, 11:15:41 AM »
Can someone give me the address for downloading court forms? I need to request a child support review hearing.

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