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Messages - MrCustodyCoach

#11
Father's Issues / Re: PPO stands, no proof given
Nov 11, 2009, 08:33:24 PM
More restraining order abuse sanctioned by the court.  So, if you call the kids and leave a message you're not in violation of the order?  What if she decides to pick it up?  You go to jail?

Sorry for you, but I wouldn't be calling her house, even for the kids, if there was a risk going to jail.
#12
Quote from: SuperDad52 on Nov 07, 2009, 08:48:37 AM

I then received in the mail motion for social investigation and home study (whatever that is) on 8/5/09


That's usually a custody evaluation... or part of one.
#13
Father's Issues / Re: Being denied communication
Nov 11, 2009, 08:22:59 PM
Quote from: NYParent on Nov 09, 2009, 10:01:07 AM
Well I sent out the certified letter with the request.  As sad as this sounds, I have already resigned to the idea that I will not have any contact with my child until the court date.

I wanted to get your opinion on one more issues that I am having problems with....my child's daycare provider.  In the past I have called her once a month to get updates on my child.  She has always been very accommodating to my calls and would always call me back within a day or two.  Of course I have called her now two times (in a matter of 4 weeks) and have not received a call back yet.  I even sent her a letter stating that if it was easier she could send me a letter or an email to give me an update...I have gotten nothing.  I know that BM got to her and stated that she should not contact me.  The daycare provider already has a copy of our CO on file which states we have joint legal custody.  How would/have you guys handled a situation like this? 


Thanks a million!

I would pay them a visit, kindly re-introduce myself, and then sit down with the director to go over the custody order again while working on a written and signed plan of communication with him/her/them.
#14
Custody Issues / Re: Fair custody proposal?
Nov 04, 2009, 06:53:10 PM
Quote from: CuriousMom on Nov 04, 2009, 06:16:02 PM
He was court ordered to video tape feedings to back up his case and he has chosen not to 99% of the time.

Lack of videotaped evidence doesn't equal "not feeding the infant."  I'm curious to know why and how he became court-ordered to videotape meals.

Quote from: CuriousMom on Nov 04, 2009, 06:16:02 PMMedical records and his parenting time reflect that my son should have had medical care during his time, and has not.

I'll assume that there is some specific situation that requires regular, repeated attention that he's not getting and understand your not sharing details.  That would seem to me to be a compelling reason not to increase custodial time if there is a risk to the child's health and well-being be increasing the chances of not getting necessary medical care.
#15
The court has the ability to count whatever they want regardless of what the guidelines say.  And it's a disgrace.  They'll squeeze every last dollar that they can out of you to maximize their own financial benefit, so when the judges and states claim it's "in the best interests of the children" - don't you believe it.  It's in the best interests of the states to do what they do, first and foremost.

I wouldn't be surprised if they imputed your income for your hazard pay and separation pay because you "voluntarily" returned from a war zone.
#16
The percentage of people with the ability to pay and willfully do not is a very, very small percentage of the overall picture in this country, despite the experiences of a few individuals here.  Many don't have the ability to pay through circumstances beyond their control, and they are brutalized by the system just the same.

It's government sanctioned civil rights violations in pursuit of the almighty dollar and most people just sit idly by and let it happen.
#17
Quote from: CuriousMom on Aug 14, 2009, 12:01:20 PM
From what I've read in the other threads, probably right now there is nothing you can do because the custody decision is so new.  You can't dictate what the other parent does with the children during their time unless they are in an extremely harmful situation.  Then you could push the issue. 

What?  We're talking about child abandonment here.  I would have filed for a modification after about 2-weeks regardless of when the last modification was.  These are extraordinary circumstances and to have waiting NINE MONTHS to do something about it may actually end up looking worse than it would have had they moved sooner.

They should be filing yesterday.
#18
Quote from: MomofTwo on Oct 13, 2009, 07:53:44 AM
Most states do not consider subsequent children as a reason to deviate downward from the guideliens. Attitude is pretty much if you can't afford the first ones, why are you having more ??  The first children will not go without or less because their parent opts to have more children.

Actually, that's incorrect.  Most states are required to make adjustments for subsequent children because all of the children are "entitled" to child support.
#19
Illinois Child Support Guidelines are some of the most rapacious in the nation and their notion that "child support is the right of the child" is self-serving and a load of bunk.

Welcome to the intrusion of government into your lives.  Apparently, Illinois state law knows what's best for the children... moreso than the parents in question, obviously.

It's obscene that the state would take a rather sizable chunk of the lesser earnings' net income to send child support to a household making $300,000... but then, that's how the state gets their Federal matching dollars through Title IV-d.

If you did, indeed, put her through medical school, you should file for alimony (which I despise, too).  But in Illinois, the state doesn't allow the parents to make decisions that they feel is best for the kids.  You're simply no longer the child's main parents.  The state is.
#20
I can tell you that given his alleged salary and yours and with him as a non-custodial parent, he would owe you at least $800/month (with childcare factored in).

With no orders in place for anything, both of you can do the following:

- He can pay you nothing at all.  Of course, then you would have to file for a child-support order and they will only go back to the date you filed.

- You can go anywhere you want.  There are no formal orders in place.  Of course, he can file for an injunction to prevent your move-away pending a custody hearing.

Someone is going to have to the pull the trigger on this mess.  If you do it for support... don't get on being able to move to NY anytime soon.  If you don't do anything and move to NY, you can bet he'll try to jump all over that and immediately file for custody in PA, giving PA jurisdiction over everything.

Quite the set of problems you have there.