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Author Topic: divorce pre-trial pro se  (Read 5618 times)

jenjen

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divorce pre-trial pro se
« on: Jan 03, 2007, 12:53:46 AM »
state of fl

greetings socrateaser

I am at the final stages of my divorce, we have been sharing a rotating parenting schedule that spouse has been trying to change and be designated primary resisdent (cp) all attempts have failed judge standing by the status quo. child is 8 yrs old now.

custody evaluation done recommending that spouse be primary resident and giving me every other weekend and 2hrs in middle of week, dont know how she concluded this? spouse has already testified that I spend an enormous amount of time with child.

spouse testified that I take child to school, pick up from school, bath , cook and other school activities and evaluator found that I have been the one taking child to most Dr. appts.  I was acknowledged, chosen and given award as parent of the year from childs school. evaluator made little mention of this.

many of the contact people listed for the evaluator to contact on my be half did not respond and I dont think the evaluator could do a good job without no or very little response from my side.

I found a video tape of what I later realized was my spouse behind the camera taping there biological child while the child begged to see, call and live with there x-spouse. you can here my spouse telling child how bad that the other parent is and that the other parent had hurt them and left them, child make the arguement that this parent is not like what he is being told and demands to talk to them and tells my spouse that everything is there fault and that he hates my spouse.

child later started running away and eventually threw court won the right to live with other parent and graduated from high school, doing fine and is now in the military.

my spouse was the custodial parent at the time.


questions:

1. how damaging would this video be to my sposue in my case to make the argument that my spouse would try to alienate our child as well if given primary residence (custody)?

2. would this tape be good to demonstrate to the judge that my spouse is not fit for primary residence as this behavior is not what a primary resident parent is to do and  that this is not encouraging a relationship with the other parent

3. pre-trial, do i have to send opposing attorney my evidence? pictures? video? e-mails?

4. my spouse is very controlling and the way things are keeps her from being controlling, my concern is that if they are given primary residence this would be bad for child who at this point tells me thay are afraid to ask spouse to stay longer during my parenting time and that they prefer to live with me under these conditions how likely would the judge consider NOT assigning a primary based on status quo? or assigning me primary residence?

5. can I have the evaluation thrown out on grounds that  she (evaluator) had very limited amount of info concerning me from my list as people did not respond?

6.  evaluator made recommendations for me and spouse to have her biological child. (by previous marriage has custody) and my biological children (by previous relationship have custody) take a class to be certified baby sitters by the american red cross, my bio children have already had the training for over a year now and are certified. she knows this. could i make an arguement here that she is marginalizing my parenting (or something) by making it appear that I,  like  my spouse did not  have the insight to to this?

Thank you in advance from myself and children




socrateaser

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #1 on: Jan 03, 2007, 02:43:26 AM »
>questions:
>
>1. how damaging would this video be to my sposue in my case to
>make the argument that my spouse would try to alienate our
>child as well if given primary residence (custody)?

It's an interesting argument, the weight of which depends on the impression that the video provides. Have someone watch it who doesn't care about your situation and tell you how they would react to it.

>
>2. would this tape be good to demonstrate to the judge that my
>spouse is not fit for primary residence as this behavior is
>not what a primary resident parent is to do and  that this is
>not encouraging a relationship with the other parent

You're basically asking the same question as #1, only now you want me to evaluate the inverse (i.e., alienation v. failure to enourage). My answer is the samer.

>
>3. pre-trial, do i have to send opposing attorney my evidence?
>pictures? video? e-mails?

Depends on whether you want to use the evidence as affirmative to prove that the other parent has a predisposition for hostility towards the other parent (yes), or whether you will use it to impeach your spouse's testimony that she is able to cooperate in parenting (no).

The problem is that impeachment evidence cannot be used by the judge to grant you primary custody. It can only be used to discount the favorable evidence provided by the parent. So, you will need some other evidence to show that the other parent is unfit, if you save this evidence for impeachment. Otherwise you won't have proved your case.

Note: the above is the legal theory. It's anyone's guess whether the judge will actually weigh the evidence this carefully.

>4. my spouse is very controlling and the way things are keeps
>her from being controlling, my concern is that if they are
>given primary residence this would be bad for child who at
>this point tells me thay are afraid to ask spouse to stay
>longer during my parenting time and that they prefer to live
>with me under these conditions how likely would the judge
>consider NOT assigning a primary based on status quo? or
>assigning me primary residence?

The judge will always award primary custody to someone.

>5. can I have the evaluation thrown out on grounds that  she
>(evaluator) had very limited amount of info concerning me from
>my list as people did not respond?

No. You can challenge the evaluators conclusions by cross examination, i.e., asking questions about what evidence was used to draw the conclusions, and presenting impeachment evidence to refute the evidence. But, arguing that the eval should be quashed because your witnesses didn't respond is like saying, "My choice of witnesses suck, and I don't want anyone to know." That's a dead end.

>6.  evaluator made recommendations for me and spouse to have
>her biological child. (by previous marriage has custody) and
>my biological children (by previous relationship have custody)
>take a class to be certified baby sitters by the american red
>cross, my bio children have already had the training for over
>a year now and are certified. she knows this. could i make an
>arguement here that she is marginalizing my parenting (or
>something) by making it appear that I,  like  my spouse did
>not  have the insight to to this?

If you ask the evaluator, "Do you remember the reason why we haven't had the kid's certified," and she starts telling you a story to cover her ass, then you can pull out the certifications and show her to be a liar. Other than that, I think this sort of thing is a dead end.

You need to try to find facts which show that the evaluator hasn't actually conducted the eval, and/or that the conclusions of the eval do not draw on any of the facts of the current status quo. I would be all over her to explain why (1) if the kids are doing well with the status quo, and (2) the status quo is substantially equal parenting, then (3) why is the conclusion to change the status quo?

Showing that #1 and #2 are true, and getting the evaluator to admit that #3 is the obvious conclusion, is the key to you winning and undoing what is obviously going to be a very damaging evaluation.

jenjen

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #2 on: Jan 03, 2007, 03:31:40 AM »
This evaluator did an evaluation  several years ago in a previous court case concerning my biological children, and her conclusion was not in my favor. the circumstances were different i was not married to the other parent and children primarily resided with the other parent but, i now have custody of those same children, the court ruled that the other parent had neglicted them, did not keep them safe from the step parent (who was arrested twice for lewd and lasivious on these children)


can any of this info be used to discredit the evaluation maybe show that it should not carrie much weight, the evaluator made a poor recommendation the judge went along with the evaluators recommendation and look what happened the children ended up living with me after the court ruled it was in the childrens best interest. (look at the cost the children had to pay. being molested) now they live a life of counseling and will possible need it for life

mistoffolees

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #3 on: Jan 03, 2007, 08:24:00 AM »
>>questions:
>>
>>1. how damaging would this video be to my sposue in my case
>to
>>make the argument that my spouse would try to alienate our
>>child as well if given primary residence (custody)?
>
>It's an interesting argument, the weight of which depends on
>the impression that the video provides. Have someone watch it
>who doesn't care about your situation and tell you how they
>would react to it.
>

Make sure you ask your attorny about taping laws in your state. My attorney explained that in my state with respect to phone calls, I could tape my conversations with my wife, but could not tape my conversations with my daughter. I have no idea whether this would appy to video taped conversations, but it's worth asking your attorney.

socrateaser

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #4 on: Jan 03, 2007, 05:22:41 PM »
>can any of this info be used to discredit the evaluation maybe
>show that it should not carrie much weight, the evaluator made
>a poor recommendation the judge went along with the evaluators
>recommendation and look what happened the children ended up
>living with me after the court ruled it was in the childrens
>best interest. (look at the cost the children had to pay.
>being molested) now they live a life of counseling and will
>possible need it for life

Yes, you could use the evidence to show bias against you. Although I don't see a motive.


jenjen

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divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #5 on: Jan 03, 2007, 12:53:46 AM »
state of fl

greetings socrateaser

I am at the final stages of my divorce, we have been sharing a rotating parenting schedule that spouse has been trying to change and be designated primary resisdent (cp) all attempts have failed judge standing by the status quo. child is 8 yrs old now.

custody evaluation done recommending that spouse be primary resident and giving me every other weekend and 2hrs in middle of week, dont know how she concluded this? spouse has already testified that I spend an enormous amount of time with child.

spouse testified that I take child to school, pick up from school, bath , cook and other school activities and evaluator found that I have been the one taking child to most Dr. appts.  I was acknowledged, chosen and given award as parent of the year from childs school. evaluator made little mention of this.

many of the contact people listed for the evaluator to contact on my be half did not respond and I dont think the evaluator could do a good job without no or very little response from my side.

I found a video tape of what I later realized was my spouse behind the camera taping there biological child while the child begged to see, call and live with there x-spouse. you can here my spouse telling child how bad that the other parent is and that the other parent had hurt them and left them, child make the arguement that this parent is not like what he is being told and demands to talk to them and tells my spouse that everything is there fault and that he hates my spouse.

child later started running away and eventually threw court won the right to live with other parent and graduated from high school, doing fine and is now in the military.

my spouse was the custodial parent at the time.


questions:

1. how damaging would this video be to my sposue in my case to make the argument that my spouse would try to alienate our child as well if given primary residence (custody)?

2. would this tape be good to demonstrate to the judge that my spouse is not fit for primary residence as this behavior is not what a primary resident parent is to do and  that this is not encouraging a relationship with the other parent

3. pre-trial, do i have to send opposing attorney my evidence? pictures? video? e-mails?

4. my spouse is very controlling and the way things are keeps her from being controlling, my concern is that if they are given primary residence this would be bad for child who at this point tells me thay are afraid to ask spouse to stay longer during my parenting time and that they prefer to live with me under these conditions how likely would the judge consider NOT assigning a primary based on status quo? or assigning me primary residence?

5. can I have the evaluation thrown out on grounds that  she (evaluator) had very limited amount of info concerning me from my list as people did not respond?

6.  evaluator made recommendations for me and spouse to have her biological child. (by previous marriage has custody) and my biological children (by previous relationship have custody) take a class to be certified baby sitters by the american red cross, my bio children have already had the training for over a year now and are certified. she knows this. could i make an arguement here that she is marginalizing my parenting (or something) by making it appear that I,  like  my spouse did not  have the insight to to this?

Thank you in advance from myself and children



socrateaser

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #6 on: Jan 03, 2007, 02:43:26 AM »
>questions:
>
>1. how damaging would this video be to my sposue in my case to
>make the argument that my spouse would try to alienate our
>child as well if given primary residence (custody)?

It's an interesting argument, the weight of which depends on the impression that the video provides. Have someone watch it who doesn't care about your situation and tell you how they would react to it.

>
>2. would this tape be good to demonstrate to the judge that my
>spouse is not fit for primary residence as this behavior is
>not what a primary resident parent is to do and  that this is
>not encouraging a relationship with the other parent

You're basically asking the same question as #1, only now you want me to evaluate the inverse (i.e., alienation v. failure to enourage). My answer is the samer.

>
>3. pre-trial, do i have to send opposing attorney my evidence?
>pictures? video? e-mails?

Depends on whether you want to use the evidence as affirmative to prove that the other parent has a predisposition for hostility towards the other parent (yes), or whether you will use it to impeach your spouse's testimony that she is able to cooperate in parenting (no).

The problem is that impeachment evidence cannot be used by the judge to grant you primary custody. It can only be used to discount the favorable evidence provided by the parent. So, you will need some other evidence to show that the other parent is unfit, if you save this evidence for impeachment. Otherwise you won't have proved your case.

Note: the above is the legal theory. It's anyone's guess whether the judge will actually weigh the evidence this carefully.

>4. my spouse is very controlling and the way things are keeps
>her from being controlling, my concern is that if they are
>given primary residence this would be bad for child who at
>this point tells me thay are afraid to ask spouse to stay
>longer during my parenting time and that they prefer to live
>with me under these conditions how likely would the judge
>consider NOT assigning a primary based on status quo? or
>assigning me primary residence?

The judge will always award primary custody to someone.

>5. can I have the evaluation thrown out on grounds that  she
>(evaluator) had very limited amount of info concerning me from
>my list as people did not respond?

No. You can challenge the evaluators conclusions by cross examination, i.e., asking questions about what evidence was used to draw the conclusions, and presenting impeachment evidence to refute the evidence. But, arguing that the eval should be quashed because your witnesses didn't respond is like saying, "My choice of witnesses suck, and I don't want anyone to know." That's a dead end.

>6.  evaluator made recommendations for me and spouse to have
>her biological child. (by previous marriage has custody) and
>my biological children (by previous relationship have custody)
>take a class to be certified baby sitters by the american red
>cross, my bio children have already had the training for over
>a year now and are certified. she knows this. could i make an
>arguement here that she is marginalizing my parenting (or
>something) by making it appear that I,  like  my spouse did
>not  have the insight to to this?

If you ask the evaluator, "Do you remember the reason why we haven't had the kid's certified," and she starts telling you a story to cover her ass, then you can pull out the certifications and show her to be a liar. Other than that, I think this sort of thing is a dead end.

You need to try to find facts which show that the evaluator hasn't actually conducted the eval, and/or that the conclusions of the eval do not draw on any of the facts of the current status quo. I would be all over her to explain why (1) if the kids are doing well with the status quo, and (2) the status quo is substantially equal parenting, then (3) why is the conclusion to change the status quo?

Showing that #1 and #2 are true, and getting the evaluator to admit that #3 is the obvious conclusion, is the key to you winning and undoing what is obviously going to be a very damaging evaluation.

jenjen

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #7 on: Jan 03, 2007, 03:31:40 AM »
This evaluator did an evaluation  several years ago in a previous court case concerning my biological children, and her conclusion was not in my favor. the circumstances were different i was not married to the other parent and children primarily resided with the other parent but, i now have custody of those same children, the court ruled that the other parent had neglicted them, did not keep them safe from the step parent (who was arrested twice for lewd and lasivious on these children)


can any of this info be used to discredit the evaluation maybe show that it should not carrie much weight, the evaluator made a poor recommendation the judge went along with the evaluators recommendation and look what happened the children ended up living with me after the court ruled it was in the childrens best interest. (look at the cost the children had to pay. being molested) now they live a life of counseling and will possible need it for life

mistoffolees

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #8 on: Jan 03, 2007, 08:24:00 AM »
>>questions:
>>
>>1. how damaging would this video be to my sposue in my case
>to
>>make the argument that my spouse would try to alienate our
>>child as well if given primary residence (custody)?
>
>It's an interesting argument, the weight of which depends on
>the impression that the video provides. Have someone watch it
>who doesn't care about your situation and tell you how they
>would react to it.
>

Make sure you ask your attorny about taping laws in your state. My attorney explained that in my state with respect to phone calls, I could tape my conversations with my wife, but could not tape my conversations with my daughter. I have no idea whether this would appy to video taped conversations, but it's worth asking your attorney.

socrateaser

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #9 on: Jan 03, 2007, 05:22:41 PM »
>can any of this info be used to discredit the evaluation maybe
>show that it should not carrie much weight, the evaluator made
>a poor recommendation the judge went along with the evaluators
>recommendation and look what happened the children ended up
>living with me after the court ruled it was in the childrens
>best interest. (look at the cost the children had to pay.
>being molested) now they live a life of counseling and will
>possible need it for life

Yes, you could use the evidence to show bias against you. Although I don't see a motive.

jenjen

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #10 on: Jan 03, 2007, 11:33:38 PM »
My spouse taped themselfs and the child

jenjen

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se-another question
« Reply #11 on: Jan 03, 2007, 11:41:03 PM »
I dont have a copy of the evaluators past report on me but, it's in the case filed marked sealed (i think).


question:

1. can i get a copy of the evaluators report that i payed to have done   that may now be sealed?

2. If yes how would I go about getting a copy?

socrateaser

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se-another question
« Reply #12 on: Jan 03, 2007, 11:59:18 PM »
>question:
>
>1. can i get a copy of the evaluators report that i payed to
>have done   that may now be sealed?

Don't know. You'll have to file a motion with the court explaining why this evidence should be unsealed.

>
>2. If yes how would I go about getting a copy?

See above.

jenjen

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se-another question
« Reply #13 on: Jan 04, 2007, 02:19:21 AM »
after spousde left i payed the mortgage for about two years before having (making)my  x attorney ask for  exclusive use of the marital home (due to harassment from spouse) and i would like to keep it spouse says they dont want it

question:

1. I heard that i will have up to 3yrs of use before refinance or selling  is there a time limit for exclusive use of the marital home?

2.  how much time is customery for a person to find refinancing?

mistoffolees

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RE: divorce pre-trial pro se
« Reply #14 on: Jan 04, 2007, 08:33:05 AM »
It's still worth checking on the laws in your area. If that type of taping is illegal in your area, it is likely to work against your ex.

 

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