Welcome to the ''Moms Without Custody'' board!

[SPARC Admin]

As part of SPARC's committment to serving all non-custodial parents, we're proud to announce our new "Moms Without Custody" message board, intended specifically to help address the needs of non-custodial mothers.

This message board will be moderated by Jennifer Isham, MA, NCC, LCPC, CS, who was the National Director of Mothers Without Custody for 10 years, working with noncustodial mothers from across the country.

"Going through a divorce and becoming a noncustodial mom led me to a career in counseling.  I'm a  Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), National Certified Counselor (NCC), and Intuitive coach.  I'm also a Reiki Master, crystal and energy therapist.  Over the past 20 years, I've worked with individuals, couples, and families in various stages of disenchantment, challenge, curiosity, awareness, fear, interest excitement, and desire for change.  Areas of interest include personal development across the lifespan, life transitions, including midlife transition, divorce and custody, grief and loss and end-of-life preparation, legacy building, sexuality, intuition and spirituality.  I am a   passionate advocate for helping clients realize their unique and personal voices.

A writer, speaker and popular class and workshop leader, I try to bring my love for creativity and innovation into all that I do. I have an interactive, co-creative, supportive teaching and coaching/counseling style."

Welcome to our new message board, moderator, and visitors!

[Kitty C.]

We're glad you're here!!!!!!!!!

[sweetnsad]

Yes, welcome...there are so many that need your advice and expertise.  :)

[wendl]

:)



**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**:-)

[Brent]

Glad to see you here- I'm sure this will be of great benefit for NCPs moms and dads alike.

[Troubledmom]

Welcome to SPARC. And thank-you to our wonderful administration for recognizing the "other" non custodial parents out there.

TM

[Peanutsdad]

Welcome aboard, so to speak ;)

[olanna]

It's good to have a place for resources and support for a rather new but growing situation.  I am happy to have this place.

Thanks!

[Butterfly]

of parent, I should have known SPARC would lead the way.  It's good to be back here and to see NC mothers' unique dynamics being addressed.

Welcome Jennifer!!!

[joni]

;-)

[Dr. Jen]

Thanks for all of your warm welcomes.  I'm looking forward to facilitating and participating on this message board with you.  Please read my longer introduction in my Admin posted message at the top of the board.


Loving and living,
Jennifer

Jennifer Isham, LCPC, CS, GM
Email: [email protected]
//www.momswithoutcustody.com

"The way you manage your absence in your child's life is as influential to them as how you manage your presence."

[kiddosmom]

.....

[Momma]

Has anyone here experienced continued attempts at sabatoge and extensive investigations through the court system without basis?   Child's father has made multiple false complaints to Child Welfare Services, the court, Family mediator, GAL and so on.   All reports have agreed my child is happy and taken care of but child's father will not stop.    Am now undergoing months long evluation from psychologist with continued allegations.   First the accusations were neglect and abuse, when disproven they changed to mental instability etc.   Is there no end to this?   Is there any limit where the courts or representatives say enough is enough?   I am seriously concerned about the impact upon our child at this point.   Based on behavior in recent months it seems child's father is questioning child ongoing and stating negative things about my life, regardless that they are untrue.      
Any advice or insight is appreciated.
~ Good Mom under fire

[Dr. Jen]

Believe it or not, the phenomena of noncustodial mothers has been around for decades.  It is just more prevalent and on the surface than in years past.

Loving and living,

Jennifer

Jennifer Isham, LCPC, CS, GM
Email: [email protected]
//www.momswithoutcustody.com

"Children learn more from your actions than your words."

[Birdie]

Just wanted to say hi to everyone.  I am new to this group, and actually to SPARC.  A wonderful friend on another NCM site gave me the address.  I have been a NCM for 3 years now.  The last two my ex husband has denied my visitation.  In July of last year I had my case moved for GA (where I live) to TN (Where my ex and my children live).  Since that time I have had my visitation reinstated, as well as additional time with my daughter.

My children are (7) Daughter, (12) Son, I have two step children two girls (10) and (13).

My step children are a true joy!  They call me there other MOM, when someone asks.  I also have an extremely good relationship with there mother.  In fact I guess you could say that we are pretty much best friends.  The weekends when I have my children, She and I get together and take all four of them out to do things.  It was VERY hard to start with but now things are wonderful.  She has even testified for me in the original custody suit, and is testifing again for me.

I have filed a petition for custody of my daughter (7) because she has told me under no uncertian terms that she wants to live with me.  My son is 12 and can make his own decision, he says he wants to live with his dad.  I am trying very hard to respect his wishes, as bad as I feel about them.

Mine is a long ugly twisted story that I will be glad to share.  I am so glad to be here.  We can never get enough love and support from people who can honestly say "I know how you feel".  Because anyone can say it, unless you have been there done that, there's know way they could know.

Birdie

[TGB]

These tactics are quite common and practiced by both men and women. See "Tips for Getting Started" at [a href=http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm]http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm[/a].

[Birdie]

Yes I have experienced the same things.  Along with my ex however is my biological father.  Who never even acknowledged my sister or myself after the divorce of my parents.  He would only communicate with us very little while we were children.  I remember night after night we would sit on the poarch waiting for him and he never showed up.

Between my ex and my bio there have been accusations of physical abuse to CPS, they were unfounded but CPS was investigating during our Custody Trial, and of course it was enough for them to win.

Then a few months later, Sexual Abuse, also unfounded.  In fact the CPS never even contacted us.  I have made several calls to CPS to GA and TN, and my calls haven't even been returned.  My attorney got the paperwork for CPS and it says that the caller (Dr she say) gave the CPS worker the impression that the child had been prompted.  Which I guess answers why we were never contacted.

So far for me it hasn't stopped.  It probably never will.  I can't give you advice on what to do, since I don't know myself.  But I am here if you need to chat.

Birdie

[Birdie]

Thank you for the welcome, I have made lifetime friends another NCM's site.  I can't wait to get to know everyone here.   I never thought that I would find so many other women in the same situation as me.  I hate that there are so many, but I find great confort in sharing, and listening.

Birdie

[Dr. Jen]

Welcome Birdie.  We're glad to have you join us.   Your input will be a welcome addition to our board!

Loving and living,

Jennifer

Jennifer Isham, LCPC, CS, GM
Email: [email protected]
//www.momswithoutcustody.com

[olanna]

.

[Meighan]

Hi everyone :) I'm Meighan and I'm a 24 year old sorta NCP heh. I posted my story earlier .... anyways..I'm so happy to have found this board...y'all's posts are VERY helpful thanks for being here...
-Meighan

[Dr. Jen]

I'm here ... haven't gone anywhere, just haven't been here  ... a good message for each of you to hear and begin to understand as it relates to love and children and your role as mother.

What do I mean here?  Just because your children are not with you does not mean they don't love you.  The same holds true for you, that just because you are not able to be there with your children in the way you would like, your energy, your love, your care stays with your children forever.  It is your "job" as mothers to let your children know you care, to let them know they are loved and to help them grow up strong and clear in their awareness and knowing of your love.

I will write more later and will also share with you the story of where I've been and why the energy of love, no matter where you are, is so important to who you are and to who your children are and who they are becoming.

More to follow, later tonight or tomorrow.  I promise.

Living and loving,
Dr. Jen