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Author Topic: NCP moving out of state  (Read 3649 times)

mag

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NCP moving out of state
« on: Feb 19, 2007, 11:39:03 PM »
My ex and I have joint custody (45/55 in his favor) and are both active duty (AD) military in California, where our divorce occurred.  In July I am leaving AD and moving back to VA, where both his and my parents reside.  I'd like to take our son with me, and here are my reasons:

* Moving to VA puts our son extremely close to his extended family on both sides.

* I already have a job with a daycare, so our son could spend a significant amount of time with me, even while I am working.

* Since the ex is remaining AD, and plans on staying in for the next 14+ years, I will be able to provide our son with the homestead, stable environment that his father will not.  Also, AD means possible deployments, and he narrowly escaped this last one.

* Additionally, although the visitation order only grants me 45%, I have been logging hours since October, and I have had anywhere from 53 to 61% of the time with him, due to the father's work schedule.

I know that generally the courts don't like to change up custody once it's established, but do I have a decent shot here?  Will I need to hire a lawyer?  The last custody proceedings were file, mediate, support hearing, and all the lawyer did was stand and say that I was there.  How much different will this be?  Also, the divorce decree does not restrict me or the ex from moving out of state, only from changing our son's residence w/o the other's consent or a court order.


Jade

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RE: NCP moving out of state
« Reply #1 on: Feb 20, 2007, 06:17:06 AM »
>My ex and I have joint custody (45/55 in his favor) and are
>both active duty (AD) military in California, where our
>divorce occurred.  In July I am leaving AD and moving back to
>VA, where both his and my parents reside.  I'd like to take
>our son with me, and here are my reasons:
>
>* Moving to VA puts our son extremely close to his extended
>family on both sides.
>
>* I already have a job with a daycare, so our son could spend
>a significant amount of time with me, even while I am
>working.
>
>* Since the ex is remaining AD, and plans on staying in for
>the next 14+ years, I will be able to provide our son with the
>homestead, stable environment that his father will not.  Also,
>AD means possible deployments, and he narrowly escaped this
>last one.
>
>* Additionally, although the visitation order only grants me
>45%, I have been logging hours since October, and I have had
>anywhere from 53 to 61% of the time with him, due to the
>father's work schedule.
>
>I know that generally the courts don't like to change up
>custody once it's established, but do I have a decent shot
>here?  Will I need to hire a lawyer?  The last custody
>proceedings were file, mediate, support hearing, and all the
>lawyer did was stand and say that I was there.  How much
>different will this be?  Also, the divorce decree does not
>restrict me or the ex from moving out of state, only from
>changing our son's residence w/o the other's consent or a
>court order.

If you want to change the custody arrangement, I suggest a hiring an attorney.  Personally, and I am not a lawyer, I think you have a good case since you are not likely to be moving around a lot.  Unlike your ex.  He is at the whim of the military and where they want to put him.  

The courts will probably have you go to mediation to try and resolve this yourselves.  

Mamacass

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RE: NCP moving out of state
« Reply #2 on: Feb 21, 2007, 10:31:08 AM »
I think you should have a pretty good shot.  Even though you are the NCP, you are much more than EOW which is usually the standard.  The calendar you have kept is going to help as well.  
Also, as you have already pointed out, there is plenty of family, from both sides, where you will be moving.  That is another plus for you.
What you need to be able to show is how this is a good change for your child.  How will he benefit from the move?  Stability and family are benefits, are there any others?
What your ex needs to be able to prove is that the change will not benefit the child.  And since you have the child such a significant amount of time now, the ex is going to need to show his back up plan for who will care for the child when he can't (b/c now you can't be the back up).  He needs to show that he can provide the same stability that has been provided up until now.  
But all of this doesn't mean much if you don't have an attorney.  Your attorney will know what is important to your case, and what is a waste of time.  Also, they know all of the court room rules, which the normal person doesn't.  It is well worth it to spring the money for the attorney so that the judge can concentrate on hearing the facts rather than correcting your court room errors.  This is even more true if your ex gets an attorney.  Try to go pro se against an attorney and you'll end up getting railroaded.  

Also, go online and look up relocation case information.  See what the courts are looking for in your state.  We had a relocation case in September in Virginia (we were fighting the BM from taking my SS out of the state, but there was also much more involved), and it was helpful for me to have done a bunch of research.  That way, when we went to the attorney, we had most of the info she needed already.  

What area in VA are you moving too?  I live in central Virginia and if its near there, I may be able to offer some suggestions or answer any questions you might have about the area.  
Good luck!

 

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