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Author Topic: how can shared custody help me change child support ?  (Read 2084 times)

spinner

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how can shared custody help me change child support ?
« on: Sep 18, 2004, 12:03:16 PM »
I am in Minnesota
Ok, beginning of this week I had a discussion with my ex-wife and I wanted to switch to share custody of our 3 year old child and stop child support.

I wasn't waiting much out of it how ever she had for argument that she wanted child support, blbalblallblal that all I wanted was to get off of child support (wait for the end to see who is the greedy one here) ballballballba and that the issue really to her was child support.

So I took her up on her world and told her: fine, let's forget Child support for now: can I see our kid more.
Answer was "what would you like? " and I said, well we can do everyother weeks.

My biggest surprise was when she said yes as long as I keep paying the Child Support (greed greed greed). so we are on a "switching to shared scheduele) the week-ends get longer till we are at 1 week each.

Here is the thing. She won't put ANYTHING on paper. NONE.

Here is my question:
How can I make it official or at least "verified" by someone that we are doing shared custody? I definetely intend to take this matter to court to get CS changed but my priority is to see my child more so I don't want her to "back fire at me" and take away the shared custody so I want to be more than 600% prepared with proofs once I take this issue to court.

What are your advises ?



VeronicaGia

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Without a court order, there is no way
« Reply #1 on: Sep 20, 2004, 12:16:12 PM »
You and she can agree to anything, but the court order will prevail.  So, say she agrees to take less money, she can, at any time, file a contempt action against you and get all those arrears.  She can also stop allowing more visits any time.

You need a new court order reflecting the change in visitation and child support.  Without it, the current court order stands.

Kitty C.

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Got an idea...............
« Reply #2 on: Sep 20, 2004, 12:34:05 PM »
Do the shared custody......for now.  Get along with the BM to make it last as long as possible, a minimum of 6 months, preferably longer if you can.  Then file for 'status quo'.  Gather proof of 50/50 (receipts, daycare records, etc.) to prove that child has thrived under the 50/50 plan.  Once you file, guaranteed there will be fireworks, BUT it takes two to tango and she's allowed the 50/50 just as much as you have.  She will then have to prove why it should NOT be made a CO.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

spinner

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RE: Without a court order, there is no way
« Reply #3 on: Sep 20, 2004, 01:25:03 PM »
well that doesn't really help, I understand that fact however as soon as I go back to court, she takes the added visitation away.

which is why I want to know how I can document it so the day I go back to court I can say: we have donne shared cust for 2 years so let's change the order for that.

spinner

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RE: Got an idea...............
« Reply #4 on: Sep 20, 2004, 01:29:11 PM »
ok that's what I needed, the 6 month and more are no big deal.

how do I then file for status quo ?

as far as receipts, daycare records, how can I have that on record?
daycare keep track of who drop and pick the kid?
should I ask them to ?

receipts I am not sure what kind of receipts I can keep, ...

is it possible to have friends testify that you have kids 50/50 of the time?

letters from landlord that seen you with kid, ....

I can get anything as long as I know what works

"why it should NOT be made a CO." what's a "CO" ?


Kitty C.

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RE: Got an idea...............
« Reply #5 on: Sep 20, 2004, 02:18:40 PM »
CO:  court order.

Documentation of p/u and d/o of child at daycare is a biggie....if the daycare isn't doing it, they should be.  Receipts can be of things you've purchased for the child.  Take pictures with time and date stamps.  Statements from others will only work if they are willing to back it up in court, where opposing council can cross-examine.

Since you already have a custody order in place, what you would do is file for a modification, requesting status quo.  The 'significant change of circumstance' is that you and BM are using a totally different custody schedule than is outlined in the current order and you want to make it perm. and legal.

Like I said, when you file, there will be fireworks.  As you suggested, she will probably revert back to the original order schedule, BUT.........she's already PROVEN (by the documentation that you accrue) that 50/50 works well.  And her going back to the original schedule immediately on the heels of your filing for modification proves her vindictiveness, it will only make her look bad in court.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

spinner

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RE: Got an idea...............
« Reply #6 on: Sep 20, 2004, 06:36:42 PM »
this is exactly what I needed
1 last question:

what is p/u and d/o ??

DLO_FL

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RE: Got an idea...............
« Reply #7 on: Sep 22, 2004, 05:43:02 AM »
what is p/u and d/o ??

means...Pick up and drop off...

spinner

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RE: Got an idea...............
« Reply #8 on: Sep 22, 2004, 07:15:35 AM »
thanks much

 

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