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Author Topic: what should i do?  (Read 936 times)


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what should i do?
« on: Apr 21, 2005, 01:16:14 PM »
my boyfriend has two kids that he is supposed to be paying child support for. he refused to pay the child support because his ex is a drug addict and he is worried she will use the money to purchase drugs instead of getting things for the kids. he has been trying to find a way to prove that his ex is using drugs so that he can get custody of his kids. he recently received a notice in the mail that if he doesnt start paying the child support they will garnish his wages. im worried that he will quit his job to avoid paying the child support which will cause him to go back to prison (long story as to why he was there in the first place). i have told him that quitting his job to avoid giving her money will not help him get custody. what can he do to pay his child support and ensure that she uses the money for the kids?


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What I can tell you
« Reply #1 on: Apr 21, 2005, 02:16:40 PM »
 Child support and custody are two different things UNLESS you are behind in your child support. He will look like a neglectful person if he refuses to pay. Sure, we all know she will use it on drugs and that sucks. It is you boyfriend's responsibility to do his part to make sure those kids are cared for. This means paying his child support. That is all he can do. Well, except trying to get custody. If she is bad enough that he feels that she will not care for the kids, he should do everything in his power to get custody. Be smart though. Without real proof and probably a good amount of credit cards or cash, custody could be very difficult.

Custody may be difficult because of his prior "history". You didn't say why he was in jail, but this could be the difference between custody and a waste of thousands of dollars and frustration.

Quitting his job to avoid paying child support will probably not work. Most states that I know of do not let you voluntarily leave your job and not get another one to lower your support. Chances are, he will still need to pay the support. The only difference is, he won't have a job to actually pay it. It's really not a very smart move because it will just get him in trouble with the law and make him poor.

As far as ensuring that CS is actually going to the kids....that is the million dollar question. There is no legal way to do that. It stinks and many of us have children and stepchildren that have been denied things simply because the custodial parent won't get a job.

BTW to get better advice on how to get custody, you may want to post more about the living situation, visitation situation and all that stuff and any other provable complaints about BM.

Good luck and keep reading this page. There is great information here.


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RE: What I can tell you
« Reply #2 on: Apr 21, 2005, 05:45:11 PM »
Unless you live in one of the states that require the CP to prove where the support is going if over a certain amount (average of 800 per month, which is really nothing but a joke)
 then your boyfriends point is moot...and probably even then he has nothing!

If she is a drug addict then is she on state assistance? If so then they are going to come at him long & hard FOREVER. Does he not understand that there is now a central system & that anyone that hires him (legally) has to put his SS number into the system to check for unpaid child support?

Personally what he is doing is being a stupid ass & you should find someone better. He's making excuses. If she really is a drug addict then why is he leaving the kids with her? DOO! Why not go for custody no matter what the cost? Since he's not paying support he should have the money right? IF she really is a drug addict then with a hair follical test it's pretty easy to prove. Heck, in some weird sorted way I'd venture to guess that most NCP's on this board would love have proof of an unfit parent so easily provided. He most likely would have a slam dunk but he'd rather run the fight.

Your fears are real. You don't sound like a stupid chick to me. Do better.

I don't believe in the current child support laws but frankly not paying is asking for trouble....in the clink.



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