Support, Discovery, Objection?

[FL_48603]

Hello:

Due to issues of the mother's neglect and abuse of my 7 year old daughter who is in her care, I was forced to motion the court for modification of custody (I know the mother is not inherently abusive and neglectful - but she has assumed a dangerously hectic schedule working 5 part time jobs, 14 units of college, and over involvement in the child's school primarily to block me out of getting involved myself).

Subsequently, the mother returns to the use of corporal punishment in the face of an existing order prohibiting it - which she then admits to under penalty of perjury in her responsive declaration.

While the child was being examined for a hurt wrist and when the doctor asked her when her wrist first started hurting the child reported: "When mommy was hitting me" (making a blocking gesture).

Three weeks following this incident the child sustained a broken wrist which I didn't find out about until 6 days after the incident, when the school sent her home.

I then took my daughter to the dentist and discovered that she had not been taken to the dentist but once in 7 years, she had eight cavities, needed two root canals, and the molar I had to have extracted that the reason she had been complaining so much was that she had a huge hole in it.

So, we've got a hyper vigilant mother who states in her responsive declaration that she "completed undergraduate school in record time", she had been receiving $200.00 per month over the court ordered support in direct exchange for additional time with my daughter, she is stretched so far that she hits her boiling point and starts smacking the child around in violation of the stipulations of our order - causing injury to the child, then she leaves the child to function on a broken wrist for 6 days, AND the child has a mouth full of rotten teeth, needing two root canals and a molar extraction.

I file for custody modification BUT I offer a "Shared Parenting Plan" which assures the mother frequent and regular contact with and access to the child - AND - wanting the mother to complete her schooling, I do not ask for child support to the mother to be modified or eliminated.

I just want to assume more time with my daughter and to act as custodial parent until the mother finishes up her schooling because this way I can get the medical and dental needs of the child taken care of without interference from my opposition.

So here's the rub... now I've got the opposing party's lawyer climbing up my alley asking for every imaginable financial document.

Most of them I do not have, but even the ones I do seem to be irrelevant in light of my Income and Expense Report.

Still, my attorney doesn't seem to want to object to the discovery, almost leading me to believe that they are not prepared to vigorously fight for my custody modification.

Otherwise, there would be no reason for the urgent production of these documents IN ADDIDITION TO my Income and Expense Report.

Can anyone help me figure out how to make heads or tales of this mess?  Do I have to produce all of the documents?  Is any of my financial history confidential?

Does my ex-wife have to submit these same documents as well?

Please advise,

James D. Chamberlain
jamesdchamberlain@prodigy.net
865 Locust Street
Red Bluff CA 96080
530.527.5160


 

[Troubledmom]

The request for documents is standard operation to ensure you have not "fudged" numbers.

It is common practice during spousal and child support proceedings for one or both parents to under estimate the value of certain assets that are considered income or flat out lie about income. The request for documentation is reasonable and failure to comply could have you sitting at the whim of the Judges emotions the day you are in court trying to explain why you didn't produce the documents.

In family law nothing is confidential.

Your Ex-Wife will only have to produce documents your attorney requests through discovery. If you want her to provide the same documents then get your attorney on it.

TM

[Stepmom0418]

We just went through DH's custody trial and we too had to come up with, locate and hand over a TON of financial information. We had to dig out things from 7 years ago. Our case was for custody and visitation issues and the BM's attorney made it all about money!

BM and her attorney didnt give us anything that we had asked for in our production of documents. We asked for things like CPS reports, complete school records, criminal histories, pay stubs and tax returns and many many other things. Some of these things we actually already had but we wanted to see how truthful BM and her attorney would be. Well we got nothing we asked for and actually used that in court to prove that she is not trust worthy. When confronted on the stand with solid documents she continued to change her story and told several more lies about EVERYTHING! All of her wittnesses had a diffrent story than she did and you can imagine that the judge was not happy.

We on the other hand provided EVERYTHING they asked us for in the Interogs and production of documents. And all DH's wittnesses had pretty similar stories because we were obviously telling the truth!

My advise is to just give what ever they are asking for. And BE HONEST or it will come back to bite you in the a$$!!

[FL_48603]

Thank you for responding to my post.  It's been pretty hard on me - the realization that no matter how bad it's been on the kid, any time I as the Non-Custodial Parent (and, *gasp* f a t h e r...) request the judge look at issues of the child's health and welfare, my ex-wife can just cluck her teeth, roll her eyes and say: "I know you are, but what am I", and the entire city is marching up my front walk with pitch-firks and lit torches.

>>We had to dig out things from 7 years ago. Our case was for custody and visitation issues and the BM's attorney made it all about money!<<

Yeah, well my daughter was hit by the mother (although there is a no spanking clause in our order) and injured the child's wrist... there was also the time shortly thereafter that the child sustained an odd break to the same wrist (and rather than taking my daughter to the doctor like she said she would) - the child ends up hidden at grandma's house for 6 days). Let me reiterate that this is a 7 year old little girl who was cloistered at her gandmother's trailor in the local "hills" for 6 days while she suffered with a broken wrist.  Then there were the eight cavities, two root canals and one molar extraction (I discover mom took the child to the dentist once in seven years, while revoking my parental rights in 1999, 2001, and then again in 2003 - thus interfering with my ability to take my daughter in for treatment).

On the three ocassions I did try to take my daughter to the doctor and dentist in 2001 - 2003, I was admonished with the reminder that I did not enjoy the "right" and privllege of taking my daughter to the doctor and / or dentist and then threatened with a restraining order.

And so it goes, there are the issues of the "hen-parties" during which my daughter was exposed to countless slurs against dad, including the "programming" of the child with the fear that the Christian church I take her to on Sundays is a CULT.

So, after about 3 years of this type of "father-hate" I motion the court to examine if a little extra time with dad might not be in order (with mom stating so proudly how she hs completed her undergraduate work in "record time" - now we know where the money for dental care went) and just until she completes her studies - AND I STATE THAT IT WAS MY WISHES TO LEAVE CHILD SUPPORT WHERE IT'S AT AND NOT MODIFY IT TO SUITE MY ADDITIONAL TIME...

Next thing, and before we even have a chance to extablish whose going to have how much time with the child... opposing party motions for attorney fees and child support modification.

I mean it's like I just got rear-ended, but the person  who ploughed into the back of my car - before our insurance companies have corresponded - is asking me to inventory how able I am to pay for their whip lash... if when they go to their doctor they end up having it... (wink, wink,).

>>BM and her attorney didnt give us anything that we had asked for in our production of documents. We asked for things like CPS reports, complete school records, criminal histories, pay stubs and tax returns and many many other things. Some of these things we actually already had but we wanted to see how truthful BM and her attorney would be. Well we got nothing we asked for and actually used that in court to prove that she is not trust worthy. When confronted on the stand with solid documents she continued to change her story and told several
more lies about EVERYTHING! All of her wittnesses had a diffrent story than she did and you can imagine that the judge was not happy.<<

Thank you!  I just had an epiohany and now know what they are after and what to do to counter them!

>>We on the other hand provided EVERYTHING they asked us for in
the Interogs and production of documents. And all DH's wittnesses had pretty similar stories because we were obviously telling the truth!<<

Yeah, well my lawyer is burning out becasue she didn't know what lovely people we were dealing with when we got started.

No doubt she thought that "it can't be ALL THAT BAD" and "these must be reasonable people who will do THE RIGHT THING when faced with it"

NO - she gets FREE LEGAL SERVICES and they have jacked my bill up to $11,000.00 - and we haven't even been to the hevidenciary hearing yet.

Now, If I motion that I think we have a case for contempt, I get the dull stare and the "do you know how much you are in this with me for" look.

Just today I had the dentist telling me that the mother of my child had convinced them that only she and never I was able to access my daughter's vital records.  I mena here is the guy that I took the child to and set up the dental plan with AND NOW he's looking over his glasses at me with the "what can I do - my hands are tied" look.

I asked my attorney to fax them a letter setting them straight... my lawyer's husband tells me: "you can't afford a letter".

I have paid $5,100.00 and am paying $600.00 - $1,000.00 per month on a payment plan, and what do I get when I ask for a simple letter...

Finally I told the dentist to call their lawyer and ask about prental rights to access vital records custodial parent or not - in 15 minutes they called me to come get them.

This, my good readers is what I am up against.

>>My advise is to just give what ever they are asking for. And
BE HONEST or it will come back to bite you in the a$$!!<<

Oh, I can swear on my life that there will be some a$$ getting chewed alright and I can promi$e it won't be mine... at least according to what The State Bar of California and The California Committe for Judicial Reform have communicated to me.

[Troubledmom]

Some quick questions that may help lower your legal fees and get things moving a bit quicker...

1. How is your wife recieving Free Legal Services?
Why I ask is there are only a select few counties in Northern California that have free legal aid for family law cases and to my knowledge Tehema County isn't one of them.

2. Because abuse is alledged, has your attorney motioned the court to appoint a custody evaluator?
An evaluator may bring about quicker resolve to the issues you are facing and save a considerable amount of money. Although not always a good choice, in situations where you have documentation of certain situations or activities but there are issues with having them entered into court through "normal" civil code of procedures because of the costs related (ie subpeoning the dentist to collaborate your story about the ex's statements about your access to the records) the evaluator can do it through third party statements made to the court in writing. AND these third party statements made by the evaluator, because the evaluator is an officer of the court, are accepted.

Just an opinion, but I think there may be an issue with the court that you are not asking for the removal of the child from Mom's home for her protection based on Mom's physical abuse. If she is "good enough" to share custody then why change things type attitude.

child custody fights never have easy answers....

TM