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Author Topic: ILLINOIS Can CPS help?  (Read 2350 times)


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« on: Aug 11, 2004, 11:29:52 PM »


I am the SM. My husband, the BF is the NCP. He has 3 girls from a previous marriage, ages 17(soon to be 18), 15(soon to be 16), and 13. They currently live with the BM. The BM lives 30 min away from us. All of the BF and BM's family live in the same town as us. The middle and youngest,  have expressed to us for some time that they want to live with us. The oldest is not an issue in this case. We would be happy to have and want custody.

The BM is classic PAS to the fullest extreme and then some. The girls are aware of it and are angry about it. The BM is verbally and emotionally abusive. The BM has told the girls "there is no way in hell I will let your father have you." The girls are scared of their BM and what will happen to them if they ask to live with BF. Also, they are scared of what BM will do to them if they would have to live with her during a custody trial.

Recently the middle daughter, on her own,  got up the courage to ask to live with BF and the BM's response to this was very bad. BM told the daughter that there was no way she would let that happen. Then told her that she will decide when she will get to be allowed to see her father again. (Disregarding BF's visitation rights) She threatened to talk to the daughter's friends and parents so they would be aware of "what was going on" and then accused the same people of putting the ideas into her head. To top it all off she is forcing the girls to tell her at least once a day that they want to stay with her.

Other Examples of problems with BM:
1. BM tries to guilt and bribe girls to not want to see their BF.
2. Tries to get them to call him vulgar names when they are on the phone with her during the visitation she is constantly interrupting.
3. BM remarried to man with 3 boys, aprox. ages to the girls. When the guys moved in, they were forced to give up their bedrooms and move into the unfinished basement and sleep on air mattresses.
4. One daughter is made to share a bed with her step-brother.
5. BM has joked that she has sex in their bed when they are not home.
6. One daughter took BM's prescription meds to try to get high and it resulted in an overdose. The prescription was one that the BM had no longer been taking for a long time but was keeping in the house.
7. Girls have witnessed physical violence between SF and his sons, they were also told SF carries a loaded gun at all times (illegal in IL) and claim to have seen the gun.
8. When BM asked about their feelings at the time of the divorce the girls responded "happy" and were punished.

It only gets worse from there and the girls are constantly fighting with and fighting off BM. This behavior from her is not new and has always been present.
The girls have gotten to the point that the have told us they will run away. Or when they come to see BF they will refuse to leave. They have said “Go ahead, let Mom call the cops, she can't make us come home."

We were told that if the girls ever refuse to go home we should call the police. At that time, CPS could possibly be called in to investigate and grant BF temporary custody. Also that CPS would act on behalf of the girls in court to change custody.


Does anybody know the laws in Illinois? If so, we are trying to get an idea of how this will play out. Any information about what will happen?
We want to protect the girls and do what is best for them.

Any information and comments are welcome.
Thank you,
IL Step Mom


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