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Author Topic: BM is a piece of work.  (Read 2193 times)


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BM is a piece of work.
« on: Apr 22, 2004, 09:11:35 AM »
SS had kindergarten round up yesterday.  As it was BM day of visitation, she demanded that she take him and that DH meet them there.  DH let her pick up SS a half hour earlier than usual, just to not fight with the woman.

Ok, so she actually shows up with him, one point to her.  But she's stoned and wearing sunglasses (inside) to try to cover up the fact, one point taken away...

She went off on DH, said she's not driving "all the way here" for her visitation.  That he can do the driving (which is impossible with his work schedule).

Our new house is a whopping 40 minutes away from her apartment.  The house we're currently in is 20 minutes away, so truth be told, our move only adds an extra 20 minutes to her drive.

He's perfectly willing to meet her in evenings at a half way point, if she chooses to exercise her overnight mid-week visits, she will have to drive SS to school.  She doesn't start working until the lunch hour, so I don't see where the problem is other than she's on a control trip, and doesn't like getting out of bed in the mornings.

When he told her the date of our move (this summer, still renovating), she said "We'll just see about that".  So, what the heck is THAT supposed to mean?

I told DH she might try to get a restraining order, not allowing SS to leave the town.  Our attorney said not to worry about it before we bought the house (I asked before we put in an offer on the house), since the distance is not great.  30 miles - 35 miles.

I'm not worried that she'll succeed in stopping the move, but I am worried that we'll waste more of our time and money because she isn't getting her way.

What to do about the suspicion that she was high?  DH let her take SS with her, so will it look bad if we document that she looked stoned?

Aaarrrggghhh!  When does the stress end?  I thought life would get easier after DH was awarded custody... HAH!


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I know exactly what you mean.
« Reply #1 on: Apr 22, 2004, 10:37:15 AM »
I would say don't tell anyone dh thought she was stoned, and let her leave with him. If it ever happens again, call the police. As you know, we've been through a LOT of this.

We have been told by the police that it is not illegal to be high on drugs, whatever kind of drugs. It IS illegal to drive a car impaired. Driving a car impaired with a child is endaring a child's life, and that's a good time to call child protection.

After the fact, when he did nothing, let it go. It would only make him look dumb to say he thought his son was in danger and didn't report it.

Don't worry about the move. She's just saying things to drive you nuts. DH has custody, there is nothing she can do. 20 minutes is not going to interfere with her mother/child relationship, just because she's too lazy to make the trip.


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RE: I know exactly what you mean.
« Reply #2 on: Apr 23, 2004, 09:46:04 AM »
Thanks, I needed that.

I'm sick of living in constant fear that something will happen and she'll get custody back.  I know I should calm down, but I think that since we have been dealing with crap for so long, that it's hard to just sit back and breathe.

Every little thing we do I analyze.  Trying to figure out how not to piss her off.  We have three ex's between us, and she tops the cake.  Which is really really scary since my ex has (Proven) mental issues.

Everything with her is done COMPLETELY by the custody order on our side.

Any notice is sent to her in written form.  I wish she'd be resonable like OSS's Mom.  Life is so much easier dealing with her.

But, like my Dad always said "Wish in one hand and crap in the other.  See which one fills up the fastest!"


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