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No longer Mom's turf...

Started by MYSONSDAD, Feb 02, 2005, 11:24:40 AM

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MYSONSDAD

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/printedition/chi-0502020030feb02,1,2616866.story
No longer just mom's turf
Dads help with kids' health care

By Lindsey Tanner
Associated Press
Published February 2, 2005


CHICAGO -- Picture a parent anxiously checking a sick child's thermometer or hauling the kids to the doctor's office, and the image that traditionally comes to mind is of mom.

But with rising numbers of stay-at-home dads, father-only households, shared-custody arrangements and other cultural changes, men are increasingly getting involved in their children's health care.

Many doctors welcome the change, and the American Academy of Pediatrics is urging pediatricians to help increase fathers' role in what once was considered mothers' domain.

Holistic approach

It's part of a more holistic approach to medicine and a recognition that both parents have a tremendous influence on their children's physical and emotional health, said Dr. William Coleman, a behavioral pediatrician in Chapel Hill, N.C., and co-author of an AAP report on the issue.

But it's also driven by necessity, because fathers are increasingly showing up alone with their children or accompanying mothers to youngsters' checkups and other doctor visits, said Evanston pediatrician Dr. Craig Garfield, a co-author of the 2004 report.

"What happens a lot of times is that the father will accompany the mother," but "will stand off to the back or to the side and not be fully engaged," Garfield said.

"What this report specifically addresses is to say, to acknowledge this important caregiver and to start to develop a relationship between him and the child's doctor."

Ira Dolin of Gurnee is part of the trend. The 43-year-old former financial adviser left his job after his wife gave birth to twin girls. Dolin stays home with the 13-month-old babies while his wife works as a portfolio manager and stock analyst. He says he has always been the one who takes them to the doctor.

It's a role Dolin didn't assume much with his teenage sons from a previous marriage but one he feels increasingly comfortable with, especially because seeing other dads in the waiting room lets him know he's not alone.

On a weekday doctor's visit for one of the twin's skin rash, three out of five parents in the waiting room were fathers, Dolin said.

Some people comment on the role reversal, but Dolin said most of his children's doctors and nurses seem welcoming.

"I just think that in general people feel that mothers are always the more nurturing person, and I don't think it has to be that way," Dolin said. "I can be just as nurturing as most moms can."

It's an approach some pediatricians may not be used to, Garfield said.

"When I was a resident, I really wanted to get the information quickly so would fire questions to the mother" even if the father was also in the examining room, he said. "Over time I realized that really to understand what's going on, I need to get both parents."

Doctors' support key

Pediatricians should encourage fathers to attend their children's doctor visits and should actively engage fathers who already do, the academy's report says. They also should offer evening and weekend office hours to accommodate the trend, the academy recommends.

Garfield said doctors should give fathers the same information mothers get, but that they can tailor it differently. For example, for families with babies, some fathers might be more comfortable than mothers with reducing the temperature on the hot water heater or doing the actual child-proofing of the house.

Pediatrician Dr. Trevena Moore said she began studying the issue after noticing an absence of fathers at children's checkups during her medical residency in Boston.

"It's important not only for both parents to hear developmental information about their child ... [but] also to be aware of the child's medical history," especially in an emergency, when not knowing whether a child has allergies or is up to date on immunizations could lead to less than optimal care, Moore said.

In her recent study of 104 Boston-area fathers of young children, nearly 90 percent had attended at least one doctor visit with their children, but few did so routinely. One of the most commonly cited barriers was employers not allowing time off for the visits.

The results should be a call to employers, doctors and to fathers, she said.

"We care about what fathers think," Moore said.



Copyright © 2005, Chicago Tribune


"Children learn what they live"

sharptimes5

My hubby has always been the one to make my SD's appointments and has never missed one of hers or one of our son's.  He's been the one to watch our son while I have my OB appointments with this baby...a true Godsend :)

Carol

MYSONSDAD

I think more fathers make more of an effort then they did 20 some years ago. I found this encouraging. Fathers are more involved now, then ever before. I can remember one time when my dad took me to the doctors. Times are changing...

"Children learn what they live"