I will try to give you the back story without rambling too much! My husband and I dated on and off for three years, with me always leaving bc he wanted to get married and I did not (talk about a role reversal!) I left again in fall of 04 and he had a rebound relationship with a pub wench who thought she was cool for experimenting heavily with drugs, getting random piercings, and passing out drunk in her own place of employment after legal drinking hours. Yeah.
She lost her apartment and was actually living with
DH for several weeks. Soon after moving in, she discovered she was pregnant and ended the relationship, moved onto the sofa and had her friends in at all hours. Also, she chain smoked and smoked pot, when confronted by DH said "you don't know how hard it is to be pregnant." DH offered for her to live in spare room and them raise baby, when she refused, he paid $1000 for her to get her own apartment, also paid $360 a month for entire pregnancy so she would have medical insurance. She started screwing someone else before she even
moved out. DH went to several of the dr appointments until
BM quit telling him when they were.
Sept 05 BM's dad called DH from hospital so he was there for birth, and visited the next 2 days. When BM took
SS home, she refused to let DH come over and see him, refused every offer of help he made in response to her whining about how hard it was. After 2 weeks of her refusing, DH filed for Joint legal and
joint physical. Dec 05 DH was awarded 4 hours per week of visitation at pre-trial hearing. BM lied to judge and our lawyer did not catch it. She said he had not met the baby (obviously everyone at hosp saw him there) and that he never called (we had cell phone records.) Lawyer paid no attention to detail! BM's boyfriend moved in in Nov and has been playing daddy to my SS and no one cares!!!!! We got married in Nov bc we figured if we were surviving this together, we might as well, and SS should have at least one stable family.
They negotiated an agreement in March, just before actual trial date. They gave us more than the standard bc we had proof BM lied and that she tried to keep DH away from baby. Unfortunately, we did not have enough to take him, as she stopped drinking and drugging and got a day job. At least she is now trying to be a competent mom. We now have Tues and Thurs pm for 2 hours and alternating Sat 9 to 4:30 and Sun 9 to noon. Overnights to start at one year of age, once/2weeks. We are told that this is excellent for his age and Virginia usually gives much less to dads. Be aware that the
right of first refusal in a joke. She only has to call my husband to baby sit if A) it is not for work, B) her mother and live in boyfriend are unavailable. So she sends baby off to trailer daycare of her choice, where he has caught every virus going, and we pay for it. While I am sitting home (I work nights) in our nice big house and I'd love to care for him.
You are lucky that you have third party witnesses (the sitter, etc.) I cannot believe that the judge gave you so little time with your daughter, considering the circumstances. You got royally screwed!!! The judges automatically assume that the man must be at fault and the child should be with the mother. I am a feminist and that p***es me off!!! Equal rights means that we can screw up just as bad as you all. I really, truly feel for you and your wife in this situation. As far as PI's, it sounds like you definitely need one, expect to spend at least $2000 to get all the evidence you need. Winchester is about an hour from Frederick, and I'm sorry I don't know anyone up there. It seems to me that her refusing you access to your daughter is at least as big a strike against her as her lifestyle, so make sure you have 3rd party witnesses to this, not just your wife. Keep me posted on your story, and if you get any stellar advice from your lawyer. We are looking for a new one and I will let you know how that goes. Maybe someone out there has a magic cure for injustice.
