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Author Topic: What do I do?  (Read 2590 times)

scaredfathersoon

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What do I do?
« on: Apr 10, 2005, 10:51:38 PM »
I will have a child in July, the mother, my ex-girlfriend doesn't want me involved my beautiful baby girl's life because I wouldn't cheat myself and marry her.  All I want to do is be the proud father of an amazing girl who isn't even in this world yet.

What can I do to make sure that I have the rights that any single parent has?

Does never being married hurt or help me when it comes to my ability to be a father?

I am a broke, recently out of college person, what can I do for either free or cheap legal advice?

Thank you for your time and any help that you can be.


Troubledmom

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RE: What do I do?
« Reply #1 on: Apr 11, 2005, 12:02:36 AM »
Your questions require knowing what state you are in.

Some states allow you to file a motion before the child is born other states require you to wait until after the child is born...

TM

scaredfathersoon

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RE: What do I do?
« Reply #2 on: Apr 11, 2005, 08:03:49 AM »
I am from ohio and willing to take any steps that I have to, I know the mother isn't happy that I don't want to live the rest of my life with her but I want to be the best father I can.

MS

jilly

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Just To Play Devil's Advocate....
« Reply #3 on: Apr 11, 2005, 08:49:42 AM »
If she was good enough to have sex with why isn't she good enough for you to marry?

TPK

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RE: Just To Play Devil's Advocate....
« Reply #4 on: Apr 11, 2005, 04:03:09 PM »
>If she was good enough to have sex with why isn't she good
>enough for you to marry?


What a dumb statement that is.

The guy just wants to be a part of his child's life......sheesh.


I guess if we go by the above logic, we all should've married everyone we slept with.

Maybe he didn't marry her because she performed poorly in bed?

If you want "real" advice, I suggest you post this to Socrateaser on this board.

Here's a link

http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=106


wendl

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RE: What do I do?
« Reply #5 on: Apr 11, 2005, 05:03:05 PM »
Paternity needs to be established, a motion for a parenting plan needs to be done thru the courts

(be very specific in when you have your child and when the mother does so you don't have to keep going back to court also prepare the order to include the future like when the child starts school)

Child support will get established.

You  need to read everything you can and start educating yourself in family law.

wendl

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RE: Just To Play Devil's Advocate....
« Reply #6 on: Apr 11, 2005, 05:06:19 PM »
That was a little harsh don't you think???

I know a woman, thatthe only way she can get a man to marry her is by getting PG and persoanlly in my opinion that is sooooooooooo sad.

Why should this guy marry her JUST because she is PG, if he wasn't planning on it prior to her getting PG why should he rush into it NOW??? Maybe they haven't dated long etc.

And look at many here they married and now they have EX"s so hmmm those marriages didn't work for their own reasons. Having a child does not make a marriage nor should a woman being PG force a man to marry that woman.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

gipsy

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Yeah . Just because the heals go up !!!
« Reply #7 on: Apr 11, 2005, 07:13:48 PM »
Doesn't mean ya have to marry them , I had the same exact thing happen to me , Here's what you will get , A Parenting Plan and a Child Support Order , Many atty's will make this out to be some big deal , But you need one that just tells you that , " Washington state" You are to take a paternity test , And I had to court order her to do it , Then she made allegations that I was every bad thing under the sun , So Wash state they appoint a Guardian ad litem , the first one did it for like $350 , and the court costs were like 500 So its really pretty simple , BUT Mom kept being a psycho so I went for custody and it costed more , Because the Mom was very difficult I had to have supervised visits at first , And this is normal " for the court" to order this , And you have to play along with the courts game " Because they will want a report that said you were capable of taking care of the child etc , You will have to go through the courts process , And I recommend you talk to attys that just tell you the basic process in your area , They should comment to the effect that it will be pretty simple depending on what the mother does , And ask  what they charge to help you draw up a parenting plan and a  Paternity test ,order for the court , And get child support straightened out , Thats really what this will boil down to , The rest will depend on how the chips fall . Don't give up ,I didn't and I have a great relationship with My son < And he was also born out of wedlock ,And remmember this is day in day out stuff for the court , There is nothing so unusual about it , I thought My case was Unusual untill My atty pointed to the number in the upper left that was part of the case number , It was like 2,335 or something , And he said you are the 2,335 th case for family law this year , The court doesn't care ,!

Troubledmom

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RE: What do I do?
« Reply #8 on: Apr 11, 2005, 08:32:54 PM »
I do not know Ohio's laws for establishing paternity... you will need to contact a lawyer in your area to find out WHEN paternity proceedings can begin. The sooner the better for you and your child to develop a relationship.

While you are waiting here are some general ideas that will help you when you finally do get to court:

Check with your local hospital and see if they have a program for new parents. Generally these programs teach from the very basics of how to change a diaper to the more complex issues new parenting brings... if they don't have one check with http://www.ohiohealth.com to see if they can refer you to something in your area.

Additionally, find a local Infant CPR and/or Firstaid training program, get certified in both.

Start looking at different parenting plans. If you go in to this with a variety of options to parenting times given both parents and she is refusing anything but her way... well you stand a better chance ESPECIALLY if you get the infant care class, cpr, and firstaid class certificates.

Good Luck

jilly

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RE: Just To Play Devil's Advocate....
« Reply #9 on: Apr 12, 2005, 04:08:09 AM »
Like the heading says...I'm just trying to play devil's advocate.   I'm not saying he should marry her just because he got her preggers.  And for the record, I too have had a child out of wedlock and didn't marry the guy. But, his initial post seems to indicate that the BM is giving him all this grief because she wants to marry him but he doesn't want to marry her.  I know that there are people out there that will get PG just to try to get a man to marry them.  I think that's wrong. Maybe that's what this BM did....she saw the relationship was goin south so she decided to get PG to hold on to the guy.  Who knows *shrug*  I wasn't trying to give advice....just stirring the pot a bit! :)    But...I will say...if I'm thinkin it who's to say the Judge won't think it?

I'm sure he wasn't planning on BM getting PG, but when you have sex there's a reasonable expectation that it could result in a pregnancy.  Even when you use birth control there's no guarantee.

So ya'll can put away the daggers please! LOL

 

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